To want her to give the card back?

[CardCardCard]

DH works in a supermarket and has an employee’s store card which gives him a significant discount. He is also entitled to one additional spouse’s card.

For over 5 years, his mum has been using this card.

DH and I got married 2 years ago. And at first I was happy to just go shopping together to get the discount.

But now we have a DC, I’m getting fed up of having to wait until he’s around to do the weekly shop and would like him to take the card off his mum so that I can use it at my convenience.

However all hell has broken loose with his mum calling me a selfish demanding bitch. She says it’s unreasonable of me to want to take it off her when DH and I can share his card.

Thing is though, I don’t even know if it’s legal for her to be using the card at all. It specifically says it’s for the partner of said cardholder.

AIBU to want DH to take the card off her?

Your mil actually called you a bitch? Then you have nothing to lose by taking the card back,

Boots?
We had a similar problem when the rules changed and MIL had to give up her card. We just explained that DH could be sacked if it was discovered she was using it and we weren’t prepared to take that risk (obviously!). Yanbu, get him to take it from her asap.

He will be fired for gross misconduct if they catch him out. It is a significant breach of company policy and is counted as fraud during a disciplinary.

People are fired for this. It's not a joke or something to ignore.

Get the card back.

Your DH should speak to his mum, and get the card back. If he says that all employees have been reminded of the rules regarding the discount card. It should be easy to solve, she won’t want him to lose his job surely?

Can't he say he lost it and get it cancelled and a new one issued?

@Fairenuff

That would be a monumentally stupid move. It plays out like this;

Card is cancelled
mum tries to use it
Card doesn't work; store manager is called to the till
Investigation is started into how she got her hands on a lost/stolen card
Investigation looks at the card uses; sees her using the card for years.
Husband is caught and subject to disciplinary

Whose name is on the card?

When I worked in M&S you could have a second card for someone else in your household so my DH had one. Younger staff still living with DPs could nominate either parent for a card but not both, when they moved out the second card would have to be surrendered. I'd get DH to tackle MIL pointing out 1) she is putting his job on the line every time she uses it as she's obtaining money (aka discount) from his employer fraudulently 2) show a bit of gratitude for the amount of discount she has racked up over the years 3) under no circumstance is it acceptable for her to speak to you/ about you in that manner.

Why don't you just us it online OP?

Either way, she can't have gone from thinking you're a lovely daughter in law to a 'selfish demanding bitch', over a discount card.

So obviously there's something else going on here.

I personally don't think you should get the card back. At the moment, she gets a discount and you get a discount. If you get the card back, she gets nothing and you get a discount. A discount that you already had. And it's a tiny more convenient for you. But a whole lot less convenient for her.

THIs ^

It seems very petty to want to take this discount card from her to give yourself a tiny minor convenience. You seem to be very keen to take this little `bonus" from her - it seems men and petty to me.

Really? Despite many posters explaining that this could mean a disciplinary; that a very recent poster was sacked for similar (and in her case I think accidental) abuse of a staff card?

It won't seem petty if he is sacked!

YANBU.

It's a card for spouses. You need to be able to go shopping at your convenience and if it's so easy to meet up with DH to do it then that's what she should do. She sounds a cheeky fucker and your DH needs to grow a back bone and take the card off her.

I'm with her... you can just share your husbands.

He needs to tell her to hand over the card...
Ask him which he lovesore, his job and wages or his mum.
Tell his mum he will still take her for a big monthly shop...

Has the OP said what the DH’s views on his mum calling his wife a bitch are? Apologies if I’ve missed it.

A friend of mine was sacked because her partner used the card to buy 4 large cartons of milk for someone else.

She's lucky she's had it as long as she had no question she needs to give it back

If DH loses his job because of his Mum's use of the card, what happens then?

Tell her she can keep it but she needs to drop the card off and pick it up every time you need to use it.

Go to the supermarket twice a day, every day :)

At my work the partner card must only be used by someone at the same address as the employee...

If he works for Sainsburys, then they do sack people for misuse of discount cards. You gotta be under the same address. They'll even sack you if the employee using the card to get the discount for someone else.

If your DH works in a supermarket, can't he do the shopping in that supermarket after work once a week or whatever?

His DM shouldn't be using the card if it's against the rules and a sackable offence though - that's the line he should be taking with her over the card, not that he wants to give 'her' card to you.

I also remember the thread on here about the worker who was facing the sack because of lending the card to someone not in their immediate family.

Why would DH continue to allow his mum to use a card that could see him lose his job (and therefore everyone loses the staff discount!)?

Has she apologised for the way she spoke to you?

She said that?? She sounds like the MIL from hell...
Can't you take your husband's card? Surely you would use it more than him while he's at work?

She's been really rude so I expect there's a back story to all this. Your husband should have told her that she can't keep the card just because of that really.