To want her to give the card back?

[CardCardCard]

DH works in a supermarket and has an employee’s store card which gives him a significant discount. He is also entitled to one additional spouse’s card.

For over 5 years, his mum has been using this card.

DH and I got married 2 years ago. And at first I was happy to just go shopping together to get the discount.

But now we have a DC, I’m getting fed up of having to wait until he’s around to do the weekly shop and would like him to take the card off his mum so that I can use it at my convenience.

However all hell has broken loose with his mum calling me a selfish demanding bitch. She says it’s unreasonable of me to want to take it off her when DH and I can share his card.

Thing is though, I don’t even know if it’s legal for her to be using the card at all. It specifically says it’s for the partner of said cardholder.

AIBU to want DH to take the card off her?

So if he is not willing to get the card back. The shopping becomes his job.
Or HE gets the card back from his mum. It isn't petty at all. She is being selfish, and he is being spineless.

Before Ds1 married i was the "family member" who could use a discount job which gave me a reduction on fares. However once his company knew he was getting married it was pointed out to him that this discount would have to pass to his wife.
I think most companies (of whatever type) only expect discount to be given to the employee and 1 other.
The Op's DH needs to find out (on the quiet) what the policy on this is where he works. I doubt his DM is entitled to the discount.

Isn’t the usual Mumsnet line that anything to do with mils is the dh’s responsibility? So the destination of the card is entirely up to the dh. Of course he has to do the shopping because he has the card.

However, if she really called the op a “selfish demanding bitch” then presumably the do won’t be having much more to do with her anyway?

Your dh needs to tell his mother that the rules are that in needs to be someone living in his house. He can say a colleague has been sacked if necessary. Tbh when I worked in a supermarket breaking these rules was a sackable offence.

If your dh is willing to break rules and risk being sacked and unemployed to appease his mum's desire for a discount then id be thinking long and hard about your relationship with this man.

I very much doubt the MIL is entitled to the card anyway so she will be using it fraudulently. As the DH is the employee it is his responsibility to sort out who has the card according to the rules.

Don't cancel her card! When she uses it and it declines, it will cause a scene attracting attention to the fact she has it, which could get him sacked

Which store is it? When DS worked at Waitrose, I also had a very generous discount from John Lewis but the rules were household members only or else it could cost shops a fortune if two households are using it

It's basically up to your husband, isn't it? His card, his mum? Can't he speak to her?

Definitely a stackable offense where a family member works. He needs to sort this out before he gets into trouble.

I have one of these cards from a flatmate I had nearly a decade ago. She stopped working for them many years ago and yet my card still gives me 10% discount every time! I love it!

@Exhaustedmummy1811, My mum still works there but she can't use her card to get me nappies and things as the manager would know she has no small children at home

Surely they can't vet what their employees buy and forbid them from buying items they deem unnecessary or inappropriate for that employee? That can't be right!

OP I also want to know how your DH has responded to your MIL's calling you names. (Mine would tell his mum exactly where to go if she did that!) He shouldn't have any hesitation in getting the card back from her after that...

I second the pp who say cancel MIL's card and order a new one.

littlekitty1985 that's bonkers! You've totally slipped through the net

TheNoodlesIncident

That sounds about right , there were a whole list of rules about what you could buy for other people, gifts were OK iirc.

Rubbish a family member gets a discount and is buying a £1000 bed on my behalf she just —says— gives it as a gift to me

Morrisons do 'friends and family' cards that can be given to anyone, good ploy actually, they've now got my dad as a regular customer and I don't think he'd set foot in a Morrisons before he got his card.

Asda is household only, which is fun since DH and I both work there and are the only people in our house, so we have two cards each.

After he left university, DS bought me an iPad as a gift

However all hell has broken loose with his mum calling me a selfish demanding bitch

Really? On what grounds did she justify that? Or did she just say 'you are a selfish demanding bitch' then leave the room?

Tell DH that the shopping is now his job.

Your bigger problem is that DH allowed his mother to call you a selfish bitch without saying anything. He sounds like he will never put you and his DC’s needs above his mother’s wishes.

Some stores are certainly household only and whilst you can use it if you are buying a gift for someone you cannot use it to buy their shopping. Your husband needs to check what the policy is where he works and then you MIL needs to apologise

Maybe you should look at the bigger picture here, OP. This woman is the mother of your husband and the grandmother of your child. She sounds difficult, granted, but is the financial saving worth risking your family unit over?

How does your husband feel? Did your MIL make that remark in your hearing or was it relayed to you?

Get that card back! What does DH say?

DS used to work at Tesco, I had to be with him to get the discount, he had to also make the financial transaction and had to be off duty.

I CBA unless I wanted a few things then I would ask him to pick them up after his shift. Asda was cheaper anyway.

I would actually be more worried about the possibility of being disciplined for misusing a discount - you would have been sacked for that where I worked.

If she really called you a “selfish demanding bitch” then why are you talking about a store card, ffs?

Agree with @BertrandRussell

The OP has far worse to worry about than a store card.

I also echo what people have said about the DH. Why the F isn't he sticking up for you @cardcardcard ?

My DH would have gone nuclear on his mother if she had EVER spoken about me like that.

I would be very interested to know what the DH said to his mother when he was so utterly vile about his wife.

Have to agree also, that the OP's DH could end up with the sack for letting his mother use the card!