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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Daughters c section & MIL

305 replies

Ohmyohmyohmyohmy · 09/11/2018 13:03

My daughter had a c section on Tuesday. She had an emergency so quite traumatic for her.
I was waiting for her in the side room, her DP was in with her, and saw her after she had been sewn up. All went well. She wanted me to stay at the hospital. She came home yesterday to find MIL waiting outside in her car. She’d been asked to wait until contacted to visit. They wanted to get settled in. I got a very upset phone call asking me to come round. When I got there MIL was arguing with DDP. He was angry that she had turned up unannounced, she was angry I’d been at the hospital and seen baby first.
My daughter has come home with me and baby, DDP is joining us this evening. She wants to stay here, with her DP and baby. It’s no problem, I have plenty of room.
What’s bothering me is she does not want contact with MIL, but I have MIL constantly texting and trying to call me, demanding to see her grandchild.
AIBU to block her number and ignore her? To me my daughters feelings come first right now, we can sort MIL out in a few days.

OP posts:
cookingteaforsix · 10/11/2018 17:51

I had a very traumatic delivery for my first born. My mum was understandably worried after such a long labour and was at the hospital concerned for both mother and baby.

She saw my son immediately. Held him before even I did as it took 45 mins to stitch my undercarriage!

My loveliest MIL waited until we were discharged and came with my mum to visit.

Since her amazing help ( I could barely walk for the first few weeks) she's been interchangeable with my mum.
I was very blessed to have two great mums to help with my children.

I cherish those memories as she died less than 10 years later. I miss her terribly.

Our bonding was her careful and tactful help in those early days after birth. She never assumed, never pushed but was always constant and reliable.

Batteriesallgone · 10/11/2018 19:30

It’s not even about having a controlling parent. Just a selfish one.

Oceanbliss · 10/11/2018 23:19

Ohmyohmyohmyohmy I've been reading this thread since yesterday. You've had some pretty bizarre responses but some very supportive ones too. You are doing a great job supporting your daughter and I am sure it will make a difference. It is very sad that your dds MIL got carried away with jealousy and behaved in an inconsiderate, disrespectful, entitled, immature way. Hopefully she'll realize she behaved badly and be mature enough to apologize and remedy the situation. FlowersCake

Hadenoughofallthis · 11/11/2018 08:31

Why do we enable these people to make every situation in life about them?

skyesayshi · 11/11/2018 12:44

OP, I am glad that your DD is feeling better. I don't think it is at all unreasonable to want your own mother around but not your MIL as the two relationships are different. The feelings of the new mother who has been through a traumatic experience trump the feelings of the MIL who wants to see the baby.

Your DD has every right to want to feel settled in and comfortable and not be doorstepped by her MIL. I am so glad that her DP is supporting her.

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