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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not wear panty liners every day?

905 replies

Sammysees · 07/11/2018 14:21

Tbh this is a complete new one for me. Was having a conversation with a friend yesterday who wears panty liners every day and has done since she was 15. I’d never heard of this before and told her so. She told me I was a manky minge Grin and that everybody wore them. Is this true? Thoughts please ....

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 30/09/2019 18:49

I do. Wish I had thought of it when younger when I was expecting my period. It is good for discharge now I’m menopausal and just feels more hygienic.
As for the environment - I do plenty other stuff so in this instance I’m going to keep using them.

MrsMaiselsMuff · 30/09/2019 18:52

It's a fucking zombie thread!

Crafting1Queen · 30/09/2019 21:48

Hi Op, I don't personally think you have been rude with your post, I took it that your question was quite genuine. I think your friend was rude to call you a manky minge when you said you don't wear liners/had never heard of people wearing them every day, but I'm hoping that she was either just a bit embarrassed you had questioned why she was buying so many, or as I think you may have updated that you tease each other about these sorts of things and no offence was meant by her.
I think it is actually quite shocking how ignorant we women still are about our bodies, our menstrual cycle, hormones, hormonal conditions and the fact that women experience these things so differently to other women. I was finally diagnosed with Endometriosis 26 years after starting my periods, despite clearly displaying Endo symptoms during this whole time, and despite seeing Drs & Nurses, who all, both male and female, just told me that some women just have to suffer with their periods and to go away and use hot water bottles, painkillers and heavier sanitary protection. When I first started my periods there were no panty liners, so I have lost count of the number of pairs of pants and trousers which I had to eventually bin due to staining on the gusset/crotch area from the heavy discharge I experience every day, including the charming browny colour you get from the "old blood" you get at the beginning and end of each period when you have Endo. I remember going to the Drs when I was only about 16/17 and specifically requested a female Dr, so I could discuss it, as none of my friends experienced their underwear being stained etc, and could not understand why I never wore white trousers or leggings & absolutely could not ever go without pants (to avoid VPL) in case I had a wee accident, and was made to feel thoroughly ashamed and embarrassed by this dragon of an old-school Dr when she said What? Have you spoken to other women about (face full of shock, stutter, stutter, stutter ……) what happens down below????? And sniffed in disgust when I said yes, cos I wanted to know if it was normal. She told me what happens with other women's bodies was nobody else's business and it was not polite to discuss it! Sad that in 2019 there is still so much ignorance around women's cycles.
Needless to say, despite being checked numerous times for vaginal bacteriosis, and other infections etc etc, and nobody joining the dots that when these tests always came back negative, that they might want to consider Endo (I hadn't even heard of this conditions & didn't even know there could be another explanation/condition). So excuse me if I have to wear panty liners every day just to prevent my discharge from coming through my double gusset pants & thick material trousers, or so as not to embarrass myself if I happen to move a certain way and people may see the dampness, or as other pps have mentioned, leaving damp patches on certain types of seating, and that's with having the Mirena Coil in and it virtually stopping my period flow, but unfortunately doesn't prevent the discharge.

@ProfessorMoody (any other posters who wear them) - if you don't mind me asking, what make are the washable liners that you wear? Thanks.

Crafting1Queen · 30/09/2019 21:56

What's a zombie thread???

Polkadotdelight · 30/09/2019 22:02

A zombie thread is an old thread that has been resurrected.

As someone who is perimenopausal and very sweaty I've started using reusable that I bought from etsy.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 30/09/2019 22:07

Whaaaaaaaaaat?! No. Just no.

Thereblegeopart · 30/09/2019 22:08

This sums up why this planet is fucked. Over privileged nitwits buying unnecessary crap such as this.

Countryescape · 30/09/2019 22:08

Yuck! It’s better not to wear them as it causes sweating. Then you’d really have a manly minge!

wonkylegs · 30/09/2019 22:32

I wear washable ones but only for certain points in my cycle where it's a bit damper than usual or the end of my period
Surely that's what pants are for for the rest of the time.

Wizzbangpop · 30/09/2019 22:36

Blush sorry I didn’t realise it was a zombie thread. I read some of the comments just didn’t take any notice of the date stamp

ermwhatda · 30/09/2019 22:49

despite feeling like I'm oversharing here, I will feel no shame!

I tried pantyliners as a teenager, and found they made my fanny sore and itchy. You would have to change them every time you went the loo, and it seemed like another unnecessary expense foisted onto women to 'fix' a 'problem' that doesn't exist.

Instead, I change my knickers twice a day. clean ones in the morning, and clean again before bed. And yes, if I go to the gym, I will take clean pants to put on when I've got changed after swimming, for instance, but not if I've just been on the machines, or a spin class.

Panty liners are, to me, some patriarchal nonsense. Another way of making women feel bad about themselves.

Vaginas smell of various aromas at various times and under various conditions. Underpants get moist. Women have discharge. During ovulation, my fanny gloriously emits what feels like a bucket of clear mucus (which is probably only a tablespoon's worth), and yep, occasionally I have damp knickers.

the shame, the shame... hahaha

Discharge is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about unless it's green, or neon yellow or like cottage cheese. Then, it's a gum clinic you need, not frikkin' pantyliners.

a lot of women have leukorrhea, and this is NOT an infection, or a symptom something is wrong with the vagina: this is a thin, milky discharge, with no real smell: it's a sign of a healthy vagina. People don't talk about these things enough, and women are often embarrassed about such matters.

no more fanny shaming!

I'm agreeing with all the posters who think pantyliners are bad for the environment. Scented, non biodegradable, often containing a layer of plastic: it's hardly good news for mother earth. I like that some posters have found cotton, washable liners: excellent choice.

I understand if you're incontinent due to childbirth or pregnancy, sure, nobody wants to walk around smelling of pee, but otherwise it feels like a type of body-shaming, to me...

let's love our glorious vulvas.

Crafting1Queen · 30/09/2019 23:10

@Polkadotdelight, double thanks Smile.

OlderthenYoungerNow · 30/09/2019 23:12

Probably been said in the 800+ messages but I use them daily but organic cotton reusable ones so doesn't mean additional waste to the landfill. I get a fair amount of discharge so like to be able to change them without wearing a new pair of knickers a few times a day.

OlderthenYoungerNow · 30/09/2019 23:14

www.boobalou.co.uk/a-pack-of-3-panty-liners-eco-femme.html

These are them

ermwhatda · 30/09/2019 23:25

just read 36 pages of this, and only just realised the thread is old , ahaha.

how do we delete posts?

TheHonestTruth100 · 30/09/2019 23:36

Hang on, I've worn panty liners everyday for probably 10 years. I also change my underwear everyday ffs to those suggesting we don't.

You've all got me thoroughly confused about the amount of discharge you get now. If I don't have a panty liner then my underwear would be full on wet with discharge by the end of the day, and I mean all month round it's like this.

Do people have very little/no discharge day to day?

And no there is nothing wrong with my vag. Had many swabs in my time and seen gynaes which have all confirmed everything is ok so don't be suggesting anything like that.

TheHonestTruth100 · 30/09/2019 23:39

@ermwhatda good spot I only just noticed this was an old thread after seeing your post whoops

Grandmi · 30/09/2019 23:55

Well TBH I always have a pad in my knickers...if not I would definitely have to change them regularly!! I have a very sensitive bladder!! Would rather wear pads than have a big op !

shazchip · 01/10/2019 00:18

I’m glad this thread got resurrected, it’s interesting, so who cares that it’s a zombie thread?

I’m astounded at the ignorance of 80% of the women on here... Questioning why some other women need to wear panty liners every day and suggesting that it’s ludicrous. Have you ever heard that everyone’s body is different? Is it so unfathomable to you? Some people sweat more than others. Some people have dryer skin than others. Some people have dandruff and others don’t. Some people get greasier hair than others. Some people get spots, others don’t. Some people are hairier than others. I could provide many more examples but you get my drift.

I wear panty liners every day and I have a perfectly normal and healthy vagina. It’s not due to bladder weakness or hormonal problems, it’s not due to time of the month or being pregnant or having had a baby. It’s simply because I have daily discharge and don’t like the feel of damp knickers throughout the day. The way I choose to deal with it is to wear liners. It’s funny that all those who don’t wear them have concerns such as they feel horrible against the skin.. well they feel perfectly fine for me but thanks for worrying :-D I don’t even notice they’re there and I feel much drier and more comfortable than I do without. Also, I’ve never had thrush and I certainly don’t wear them due to any male having shamed me into it (as one recent poster suggested haha).

As for the landfill comments .. gosh there are soooo many other things which are bad for the environment which every single person on this thread must be guilty of.

Sashkin · 01/10/2019 00:21

Mari, either of those two at various times of my life. The discharge was at certain times of the month and was unpredictable, but I have definitely produced non-urine damp patches in my crotch before now (feels like period flooding but isn't), luckily I wear either skirts or dark trousers so never visible, but if I spent a lot of time in white I might have used a liner, or spent more effort working out exactly when in my cycle it was happening.

Spotting - I reacted badly to a LARC when I was about 19, and spent about six months spotting from that. I did need to use a liner or something during that time.

Sweat - only an issue for me when I'm in the gym, but I imagine some people sweat enough around their crotch in high summer that they want something to mop it up.

Sashkin · 01/10/2019 00:27

Do people have very little/no discharge day to day?

Some people have very little. Some people have very thick discharge, some is very wet. I'm sure you've noticed it change throughout the month, and when you're pregnant, etc.

I think most women between 13-50 have some discharge on their knickers when they take them off at night, but most people's knickers are not wringing wet. If yours are, by all means use a liner. The "patriarchy" comments are prompted by the long history

Sashkin · 01/10/2019 00:29

Sorry, toddler hit keyboard.

The "patriarchy" comments are prompted by the long history of pantyliner companies trying to increase their target market by telling women with minimal discharge that their foofs smelled of fish and sexual abandon, and this smell should be covered up with a scented liner.

MadameFoner · 01/10/2019 00:34

Oh FFS, I remember this thread first time round......it causes bloody murder!!
Some wear them, some dont!!!!!.....as you were!

jade9390 · 01/10/2019 00:39

How rude to call you that. She will have the manky minge, if she needs them every day, as she must be leaking or uptight about natural things. We change and wash our underwear every day, this is weird, wasteful and bad for the environment.

AdultHumanFemale · 01/10/2019 00:40

If you are going to wear liners, may I suggest reusables? They are wonderful and do not tax the environment. You can even make them yourself. I love mine!