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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you really say this women has to pee in the mens toilets?

575 replies

letsseethanshallwe · 07/11/2018 13:20

There is so many threads on mumsnet about how transwomen should not be allowed in womens bathrooms because of the threat of attack ect. KNow I have someone very close in my family who is transgender (FTM) they pass as a man easily, so when these threads come up i always relate them to him, if he was to walk into a womens bathroom people would think it was extremly wrong, but thats what people are suggesting because hes chromosones say hes a women. I do understand the argument of a transwomen who dosent pass as a women atall to no use the womens toliets, but it seems to me that people seem to think that evrey transwomen wont pass. SO attached i have a picture of a youtuber who is trans, would you really see her be put in a mens toliets, that wouls surely plass her in a lot of danger.
Or do you think she should still use the mens. I'm genuilly intrested. Ive name changed recently and done another thread on a simal topic that got no replies. I just want to see were your argument lies

Would you really say this women has to pee in the mens toilets?
OP posts:
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VerbeenaBeeks · 08/11/2018 23:00

Strange, most of us dont seem to be able to see those posts. Can you screenshot them?

I'm assuming not likely, as the out and out blatant transphobic ones that aren't at least trying to skirt the guidelines get deleted if they're reported to MN. Mumsnet being a post moderated site trying to host discussion from both sides, bet they tear their hair out at both sides lol.

Noqont · 08/11/2018 23:03

Some do, and one has said as much.

Well one can't speak for the majority can they. Although I have noticed that some TRAs come here and post nasty shit to screen shot and take back to twitter as 'evidence'. Just saying.....

VerbeenaBeeks · 08/11/2018 23:06

OK, rephrase. Once you see one prolific big name saying they have a problem with all, that usually seems reasonable on the surface, you tend to stand back and say "hang on a minute." Still posts now in all supposedly reasonableness on there but made their stance quite clear in one post.
A favourite saying on the board but once you see you can't unsee. I'm just glad I got to see.

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 08/11/2018 23:19

OK, rephrase. Once you see one prolific big name saying they have a problem with all, that usually seems reasonable on the surface, you tend to stand back and say "hang on a minute." Still posts now in all supposedly reasonableness on there but made their stance quite clear in one post.
A favourite saying on the board but once you see you can't unsee. I'm just glad I got to see.

Is this a riddle?

sackrifice · 08/11/2018 23:24

Once you see one prolific big name saying they have a problem with all, that usually seems reasonable on the surface, you tend to stand back and say "hang on a minute." Still posts now in all supposedly reasonableness on there but made their stance quite clear in one post

So one post says something and suddenly, all women and girls should forget all the reasons for sex segregated spaces?

Hyppolyta · 08/11/2018 23:26

So this thread is full of people all saying the same thing but you cant screenshot it because it was one post... not on this thread.... that was deleted.

So in reality the thread has been full of reasonable questions and youre trying to pretend its just transphobia.

VerbeenaBeeks · 08/11/2018 23:34

Is this a riddle?

No

Labradoodliedoodoo · 08/11/2018 23:36

If the person has testosterone and a penis I think the men’s bathroom. It’s not about looks. It’s about safe guarding women and children from predatory men regardless of gender identity.

VerbeenaBeeks · 08/11/2018 23:37

So in reality the thread has been full of reasonable questions and youre trying to pretend its just transphobia

Who said that? This thread has had it's fair share of nonsense some verging on transphobia, some not.

Hyppolyta · 08/11/2018 23:41

Ok Verbeena Ive asked this several times. Can you answer yet?

Why do you think it is a trans righ to remove sex segregation?

I, and many other women, do not want to share spaces with males. We dont care if that male is trans or gay or lovely or what race they are... its a no male policy.

Why do you feel thats wrong?

VerbeenaBeeks · 08/11/2018 23:46

So one post says something and suddenly, all women and girls should forget all the reasons for sex segregated spaces?

No, it is one big name, prevalent on the board, usually comes across as reasonable and nicey.
With just a few posts shows it's not self ID she has a problem with, it is all of "them.". Her words.

Hyppolyta · 08/11/2018 23:48

Them as in males who, despite knowing they are not welcome, insist on entering female spaces?

Yeah, I have a problem with them too.
No means no.
Massive fucking problem with any male who doesnt respect that.

sackrifice · 08/11/2018 23:50

No, it is one big name, prevalent on the board, usually comes across as reasonable and nicey. With just a few posts shows it's not self ID she has a problem with, it is all of "them.". Her words.

That is her prerogative though. Whoever this mystery person is or what they wrote.

How does someone else's one post mean that all women and girls have to give up their safety and dignity?

VerbeenaBeeks · 08/11/2018 23:52

I, and many other women, do not want to share spaces with males. We dont care if that male is trans or gay or lovely or what race they are... its a no male policy. Why do you feel thats wrong?

That's where we're going to disagree though. Why discount ALL males? If a born male genuinely feels like that they're female inside, and knows that they're female inside, why is that any different from a woman knowing she needs to be a man?
I match brain and body. I can't imagine what that would feel like if I didn't.

Hyppolyta · 08/11/2018 23:55

Because its sex segregation.

Its not based on ones feelings.
Its based on sex.

VerbeenaBeeks · 08/11/2018 23:56

Whatever I've wrote, I've always said I can see that there can be a problem with people self ID'ing. Whichever side I'm on. It's clear that MN is host to the extreme side as well though that says all transpeople and that I'm not OK with.

UpstartCrow · 08/11/2018 23:58

We have no way to tell who is genuine until it is too late. By which time someone else has been harmed.

Stop supporting harming women.
Stop forcing women to stay at home by making their spaces mixed sex.

Make the mens mixed sex, problem solved.

sackrifice · 08/11/2018 23:58

Why discount ALL males? If a born male genuinely feels like that they're female inside, and knows that they're female inside, why is that any different from a woman knowing she needs to be a man

How does having this feeling make them less of a threat than males that do not have this 'feeling'?

Nobody is putting women who feel they are men into men's prisons. Why do you think that might be?

Hyppolyta · 09/11/2018 00:01

It isnt all transpeople, though is it?

No one has said a female who was trans shouldnt use female spaces.

Its not transpeople we do not want to share with.
Its males.

Noqont · 09/11/2018 00:02

That's where we're going to disagree though. Why discount ALL males?

Because it's impossible to tell the difference between who is OK and who is not. And I'm not prepared to take that risk in safe spaces where women and children are vulnerable.

Hyppolyta · 09/11/2018 00:06

Also, why assume transwomen are ok and males not?

Glinners fucking ace. So is my son. Id happily share a bathroom with either of them. Tom Hardys welcome in my changing room.

Davina Ayrton, Karen White, Jane "women have skulls like eggshells" Fae?
No ta.

VerbeenaBeeks · 09/11/2018 00:17

Tom Hardys welcome in my changing room

Why? Genuine question. I'm with you, I think he's beyond question and hellll yeah I would, but what makes you think he's welcome in your bathroom or gym room? The fact he's damn fine?
What about the ones who you wouldn't do so much?

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 09/11/2018 00:25

Ok Verbeena Ive asked this several times. Can you answer yet?

Don't hold your breath.

Hyppolyta · 09/11/2018 00:25

I was joking, sorry if that wasnt obvious.

If forced to share private spaces with males, why that one group of males?

Noqont · 09/11/2018 00:32

Tom Hardys welcome in my changing room
Why? Genuine question. I'm with you, I think he's beyond question and hellll yeah I would, but what makes you think he's welcome in your bathroom or gym room?The fact he's damn fine?
What about the ones who you wouldn't do so much?

Well hyppolyta isn't insisting he's in everyone's changing room. Just that she'd like him in her changing room. That's her choice as long as it's not impacting on everyone else. (And she may also be joking. It's always a possibility eh). She's not forcing everyone else to have him in their changing room too. Unlike the TRAs who are insisting women should accept male bodied people into their safe spaces because they feel like a woman. And fuck what actual women feel about this.