Aibu wedding

[Shortcake28]

Im organising my wedding in Spain I'm the first one to get married in 35 years in the family and I can't help but be disappointed and the amount of declines I'm getting from invites at this rate there will be less than 20 people there !

I've had so many people say they are coming for the past year then when I sent out the invites they have declined I get that it's a lot to ask and not everyone can afford it but I know a lot of people can but their reasons are poor for example they can't find an outfit or they don't have anyone to mind their cat . I can't help thinking it's personal and if it was someone else they would go. It's really affecting my relationship with them.
I'm also stressing about it in general I'm quite shy when it comes to dancing in front of people and can't help but dread it is it normal to feel this way

@Vandrew4 sadly yes. People do do this.

highlight of their life is just hilarious!

Like us all I have met many bridezillas who believe their upcoming wedding is the most anticipated and talked about event of the century. However this is the first time I've encountered one who clings to the delusion 20 tears later.

who clings to the delusion 20 tears later

One for each year

choli rude.
We have no idea how good some strangers on the Internet wedding was.
I'm guessing the OP has misjudged the time and place of hers.
However if you invite the right demographic, to the right location at the right time of year it would certainly be possible to have a blast.
My family are literally at all four corners of the UK. Driving to an airport was just as easy as driving 7 hours to spend a couple of nights in a Premier Inn and have an average meal, on a rainy night, in a barn.

This thread is one of the highlights of my life

The excuse like "I cannot find an outfit" actually means I cannot afford to go but do not want to say.

Better to say they cannot afford it / get annual leave or childcare/ clashes with another event or just decline without giving a reason. Can’t find an outfit sounds like the old ‘washing my hair’ excuse for not going out!

Unless you were my child, I would not attend a destination wedding. And even then, I'd struggle. Nobody is required to give a reason why they cannot attend and I think you are being very unkind in deciding whose reasons are acceptable.
Weddings can be expensive as a guest - tge last one cost me over £500 including accommodation and travel even though it was a UK based wedding. I would not be prepared to pay the cost of travel, accommodation, plus time off work to attend a wedding in a location I would not otherwise choose to visit.

If I had friends or family nearby with whom I could stay, and it was a place I wanted to visit, then I might go. I certainly wouldn't otherwise, even if I had money to burn. Why on earth would anyone do that? Use up holiday time, money, etc going somewhere you wouldn't be going to otherwise, as well as all the other costs. Just silly.

I had a destination wedding. I invited my husband to be... he came, along with our 3 children we had at the time. No other family members came, it was blooming perfect!

I am invited to a close friends destination wedding in 2020. Plenty of notice so our family of 6 have enough of time to save if we decide to go... (which we are)

At the end of the day a wedding is very personal. If you want to get married on a beach somewhere then do it. Not everyone will come, that’s fine.. it’s your dream not theirs. You can always have a party when you get back if you want them to celebrate with you. Ignore the haters who call you selfish. It is yours and your partners special day... have it the way you both want it

Thats £200 per guest, plus accomodation and food etc not on the actual day. Maybe people are giving you (what you see as) rubbish excuses because they are either embarrassed or reluctant to admin it comes down to cost?