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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not put the heating on for this?!

327 replies

jiroej · 04/11/2018 09:54

I feel the cold, and we have had the heating on a few times on chilly evenings this year. However, we live in a well insulated flat, and it's still relatively mild in the south east.

I haven't put the timer on for the mornings yet as a) it's not that cold and b) we get up, get dressed, and go to work for 10 hours, so I feel it's a waste of money to heat up the place just to quickly leave. Once we start getting frosts though, we will put it on.

However, DP now wants to put the heating on for an hour every morning from now on, whatever the temperature, for one reason: to heat up his work shirt before putting it on. It's causing a lot of arguments, as he thinks it's worth paying for, whereas I think it's a pathetic and ridiculous reason to put the heating on before it's actually cold enough to.

He thinks I am BU, but I don't find it cold enough in the mornings to put the heating on and put our bills up. AIBU to keep pushing back and saying no? I know it's a sillt issue as the heating will be on in the mornings anyway in a few weeks, but right now it's an issue and I don't know if I'm being unfair or not?

OP posts:
Llanali · 04/11/2018 09:55

Put it on the bathroom radiator? Surely that’s on as how else do you dry towels ?

femfemlicious · 04/11/2018 09:55

Stop being so controlling. An hour of heating costs very little.

Original poster
jiroej · 04/11/2018 09:57

The bathroom radiator only comes on with the heating...

OP posts:
Lou222 · 04/11/2018 09:58

To heat up his work shirt? He sounds a bit pathetic. No I wouldn’t waste money and energy for a shirt. Warm it up with a hairdryer if he’s such a snowflake.

MrsStrowman · 04/11/2018 09:58

Put it on for an hour no one likes getting up when it's cold, you'll get your towels dry too, the radiators will stay warm for a while even after it's gone off

TheNewSchmoo · 04/11/2018 10:02

One assumes he contributes to the fuel bills too. How petty, and I hate to use this word as it is frequently over-used on this site, but controlling.

ASauvignonADay · 04/11/2018 10:02

I've already got the heating on timer, but seems odd to just do it for a shirt!

Yellowcar2 · 04/11/2018 10:02

You may not think it's necessary but he does. If it was the other way around I wouldn't be happy with DH telling me I couldn't put the heating on.

Catmum26 · 04/11/2018 10:02

he lives in the house and presumably pays the bills too? why are dictating if he can have the heating on or not? is it really worth having ‘a lot of arguments’ over something so ridiculous. an hour of having the heating on is really not going to affect your bills that much and you’ve admitted yourself you will be putting it on anyway in a few weeks so what difference does it make? also i live in the south east and the last few mornings have been absolutely freezing and we have had our heating on. on friday there was thick ice on our cars.

Trills · 04/11/2018 10:03

I know that I would want to put the heating on.

It's not just about the shirt, it's about getting out of bed with the air being cold.

ButchyRestingFace · 04/11/2018 10:04

Are you the only one paying the fuel bills? Are you strapped for cash?

Response will depend on the above.

Hospitaldramafamily · 04/11/2018 10:05

Meet in the middle and put it on for 30 mins?

ShirleyPhallus · 04/11/2018 10:05

Imagine if the tables were turned. Dh would be labelled as controlling.

How unfair for you to say no. An hour heating a flat costs very little. Unclench and just do it, he lives there and pays bills too.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 04/11/2018 10:07

No-one would be telling me I couldn't be warm in my own home.

Rockbird · 04/11/2018 10:07

It sounds a bit feeble to want to warm up his shirt Hmm. However, I've been putting the heating on for an hour in the morning to take the chill off the house and so the kittens are warm! It doesn't stay on past that but it does make a difference.

Rockbird · 04/11/2018 10:08

(Also south east)

Madmarchpear · 04/11/2018 10:08

I don't think I could find a man attractive if I knew he needed to warm a shirt before putting it on. But it's likely the real reason is he wants it to be warmer as he's pottering about.

PristineCondition · 04/11/2018 10:08

What if he says you can’t shower within his permission or eat outside mealtimes because he says so.

GreenTulips · 04/11/2018 10:09

I haven't had the heating on in the mornings either

I agree if you are up and out it's a waste of fuel and money -

We are supposed to saving the planet aren't we? 5 hours heating a week for a shirt is ridiculous!!

I come from the 70's when not many people had central heating even with frost on the windows we still managed to get out of bed to school and later work.

CecilyNeville · 04/11/2018 10:09

It's all small expense, so unless you are absolutely broke, YABU. You don't have to like it, you don't have to approve of it, but you cannot forbid it. He is an adult and shares the bills. Imagine he told you not to buy make up or something because he didn't think it was necessary, and got annoyed with you for persisting in buying it.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 04/11/2018 10:11

No-one would be telling me I couldn't be warm in my own home.

Likewise. Who made you the radiator police, OP?

MrsA2015 · 04/11/2018 10:11

Just keep one radiator on and turn the rest on when you get home

80sMum · 04/11/2018 10:12

If you don't want to put the heating on, how about holding the shirt up and blowing a hairdryer on it for 20 or 30 seconds instead?

MrTrebus · 04/11/2018 10:12

But it is frosty and cold . Most mornings over the last 2 week's have been around 5 degrees and frosty. I'm on the south coast. I have had the heating on morning and evening on a timer for 3 weeks. Also you shouldn't be that concerned if you're on a good energy deal. We pay £95 per month for a large 3 bed house for gas and electric combined all on track no debt owing on it and I regularly shop around every year for the best deal.

FiveShelties · 04/11/2018 10:12

Is it not on a thermostat?