to not put the heating on for this?!

[jiroej]

I feel the cold, and we have had the heating on a few times on chilly evenings this year. However, we live in a well insulated flat, and it's still relatively mild in the south east.

I haven't put the timer on for the mornings yet as a) it's not that cold and b) we get up, get dressed, and go to work for 10 hours, so I feel it's a waste of money to heat up the place just to quickly leave. Once we start getting frosts though, we will put it on.

However, DP now wants to put the heating on for an hour every morning from now on, whatever the temperature, for one reason: to heat up his work shirt before putting it on. It's causing a lot of arguments, as he thinks it's worth paying for, whereas I think it's a pathetic and ridiculous reason to put the heating on before it's actually cold enough to.

He thinks I am BU, but I don't find it cold enough in the mornings to put the heating on and put our bills up. AIBU to keep pushing back and saying no? I know it's a sillt issue as the heating will be on in the mornings anyway in a few weeks, but right now it's an issue and I don't know if I'm being unfair or not?

I'd put the heating on for him, but I have it on anyway because I can't stand the cold, or you could get him a thermal vest for under his shirt

What's wrong with wanting a bit of comfort in the mornings? I love a warm towel, warm clothes, warm undies . If you told me I wasn't allowed it, I'd be really resentful - why do you get to decide?

I also come from the seventy’s.
We had no central heating then.
“ The past is another country,nice to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.”

I’m only posting because I’m at the ratio of posters saying you are being unreasonable.

Everyone needs to pull their (room temperature) big kid pants on in this era of high living costs and global warming. Aren’t we insulated enough from the realities of life without needing every little invented whim catered for?

And if we’re going to add the gender dimension to this, no, no one who needed their clothes warmed would find me keen to warm the rest of them at other times.

YANBU. You’re living with a wet little whiney kitten of a DP though. Feel free to pass that onto him from me.

By him a heated towel rail with a timer for Christmas. If he’s truly that needy. Tell everyone why. Especially people over 70.

I agree that warming his shirt seems ridiculous.

If he's cold & wants the heating on-why doesn't he just put it on?

It is annoying when you have heating that automatically comes on though once you've set the timer.

*Buy him

Oops-forgot to say-it is November now-chances are there won't be many mild mornings!

I don’t understand how people can actually argue about something like turning on the heat. How would the two of you handle an actual crisis?

Don't put it on. As long as you are happy not to put it on when you want to as well.

Electric towel rail in the bathroom, airing cupboard, bedroom etc? They cost pennies to run.

However, I agree with others that the cold shirt is probably the last straw for him - he's wandering about shivering with the knowledge that he then has to put a freezing shirt on to his already-cold body. If he says he feels cold, you might just retort that YOU don't feel cold, but as you don't have to put on a particular kind of men's shirt at the same time in the morning, he might see it as his bargaining chip.

I agree with others, though - unless you really are desperately skint and on your uppers, why does your desire to keep the heating off trump his desire to have it on?

How would you feel if he went through your makeup/bras/sanpro and demanded that you stop 'wasting money' in future by buying any but the very cheapest/ineffectual/scratchiest options, because HE didn't have any use for them, so you'll just have to make do with what he in his 'expert' opinion reckons is a fair use of joint money?

If you could put it on for a good blast for an hour in the morning and then turn the thermostat right down whilst you're out at work, the house should stay at a reasonable level of warmth and then not be freezing when you return in the evening. Houses are generally well insulated, but it can't be unreasonable to think that, if your car windscreen is frozen over outside, it might be time to consider putting the heating on inside.

Putting the heating on for a whole hour in the morning purely to heat up a shirt is a ridiculous waste of energy.

I like the hair dryer suggestion.

If he's genuinely cold, fair enough.

I used to get up, iron the day's clothes, then go to work. This a) meant I had to get up as I would otherwise be crumpled in the office, and b) warmed me up on a cold morning. So how about he gets up 10 minutes earlier and irons his shirt?

Compromise and put it on for half an hour. Enough to warm his shirt up and take the edge off especially if you set it to come on fifteen minutes before you get up.

Ah poor diddums sounds a bit frail, god love him. But doesn't he know that a warm shirt will melt snowflakes?

In your place, I'd actually be quite irate. It's terribly wasteful to heat a whole, soon-to-be-vacated flat simply to warm a few square inches of fabric. I don't know if this would suit, but on mornings that are merely chilly rather than cold I turn on a little fan heater before dressing, prop up the front end, lay my clothes over the edge of the bed in front of it and leave the heater to warm them whilst I'm brushing my teeth etc. Or, if you used a hot water bottle the night before, you could wrap the shirt around it.

HIBVU.

I live in a well insulated flat. It is 23-25 degrees without the heating on. No way I'd put it on for a shirt.

It won’t need to be on for an hour. 30 mins would do the trick. Don’t be so controlling it’s his house too

YABU. If my partner refused to allow me to put the heating on I would move out.

To be fair, yes it is expensive but I feel quite strongly that I work hard, he works hard, I refuse to sit and feel freezing cold in my own home.

We've had the heating on a timer in the morning for a couple of weeks now. In the north east of Scotland mind you... to be fair a couple of mornings it's been a bit too warm with the heating on but for the most part it's been fine and cosy to get up in.

And if a warm shirt will make him happy in the morning - let him have a warm shirt for goodness sake!!!! A caramel latte makes me happy in the morning and if my DP wouldn't let me have that I would be fuming. Mornings are hard work - I certainly need every little bit of motivation I can get!

We had a cave fire when I was a lass

You lot in houses are fucking snowflakes.

A proper wife would wake up early and wear the shirt for him to warm it up. Just saying ........ 🤮

StoorieHoose spot on.

I refuse to sit and feel freezing cold in my own home

She didn't say the flat was freezing she said he didn't have a warm shirt

YABU. If my partner refused to allow me to put the heating on I would move out.

I feel that way as well, though looking back to when I was married I'd probably have shivered and made do with hating him instead.

You're very controlling, OP.

Microwave for 2/3 minutes

Could he throw it in the tumble dryer for a couple of minutes?

@joiningmum currently first utility. But I've been with various over the years coop, British gas,SSE, Scottish power etc etc have a look on uswitch and compare cashback offers with quidco.

I am sure he is it really wanting it in for a shirt, he wants it on to make getting ready more comfortable. Wanting a warm shirt means he is cold.

OP I don’t think it is fair that heating does on when you decide it is necessary and really for adults to be arguing over an hour of heating is truly pathetic.