To ask if you believe children need a mother and a father?

[continuallychargingmyphone]

I’ve seen this view expressed several times on another thread and wondered about it.

I know many single parents who are doing a better job than couples for one thing and also does this mean that people are against gay people having children?

Just wondering.

A good single parent is just as good as two good parents, and vastly better than two toxic or incompetent parents! The studies on single parent families show that this is so.
The only factor that can be shown to disadvantage single parent children is poverty. If you control for that, the difference disappears.

I raised my two alone from babyhood when I was widowed - they have no memory of their father and say they always felt totally loved by me and secure in our village school, church and community.
They are well adjusted, high achieving adults. The presence of a father, lovely though that would have been, could not have further improved their outcome with regard to friends in two parent families.
As a widow, I am utterly pissed off with all the criticism directed at single mums. We are not the dregs of society and a source of problem children - we are doing a damn good job to the best of our ability, and with sod all back up or credit!

I do think this and I think it's massively important for boys to have a strong male role model who sets boundaries for them. I think a lot of the problems we are having nowadays with male violence is caused by poor fathers or absent fathers.

I think in an absolutely ideal world, every child would be brought up by two people who love them. Preferably their parents. But we live in a far from ideal world so at least one person who loves them is what should be aimed for.

I think its really beneficial for the whole family for one parent to not have to bear the entire responsibility of childrearing, but it doesnt need to be a mother and father, although its nice if both of these parents are involved

I don't think children need a mother and father. What they need is a loving, stable upbringing. I think they benefit from good role models who they have a consistent relationship with in the form of both males and females, but this needn't be parents, it could be a parents partner, grandparent, aunt/uncle, parents friend etc.

Kids just need stable people with boundaries who don’t act like a friend.
I do think lots of people should be involved though. Extended families and friends are good at providing different perspectives and outlooks.

My ideal would be to have a nuclear family for a child, but many are so dysfunctional that some children would be better off if their parents broke up and were parented by just the one parent. Growing up in a dysfunctional dynamic can have long lasting consequences for a child so I think it really depends.

I am single parent at the moment, the biological father hasn’t met her and I think my DD is probably better off not knowing of his existence because he’s a very bad person and has significant MH issues. I am seeing someone at the moment, we are taking it pretty slow and we don’t live together but I like the thought that my DD has a male influence in her life and hopefully one day we will be a family which is my ideal although I think my DD would be perfectly fine if I were the only one to parent her

I don't really agree that other caregivers can replace parents entirely. Clearly if a parent is useless or abusive, a good caregiver is better. However, loving parents are always better than a loving caregiver. Children are well aware that love from parents is generally unconditional...if other relatives took care of me as a child, even though they were really great, I was well aware that I should still be on my best behaviour and should reflect the fact that I was lucky to be being looked after by them iyswim.

I think the best position would be for a child to have a good female role model, male role model and exposed to what a healthy, loving relationship looks like so they have more chance of having a successful, healthy and loving relationship with a good partner when they are an adult.

I don't really agree that other caregivers can replace parents entirely.
I think it’s very sad you never felt completely secure with the adults who cared for you as a child. I know that my DP and DPIL love my DD as unconditionally as I do and she would be safe and happy there should something happen to me. I have on occasion had to have my teenage niece live me too and despite some truly awful behaviour from her it has never dimmed my love for her. Some children are lucky enough to have more than just parents who love them unconditionally.

Yes. You only have to look at anti social behaviour these days to realise that. Very very few offenders are from a 2 parent background. It is even quite often used as an excuse.

All children HAVE two biological parents - so denying the existence of one (Tom Daley, or mum who refuses to tell her ex he has a child) is lying to the child.
Some children have a legal parent or parents bring them up who isn't the birth parents (step parent, adoption, gay or lesbian parents where one is the biological parent). Great stuff, as long as nobody's lying.
Some have one parent (biological or not) and that's when you probably need more in the way of a wider team, purely because it's blooming hard work.

Ideally I think children need one good parent who loves and cares for them.

If there is one good parent and one parent that doesn't bother, they are much better off with just one. It's all about quality, not quantity.

I don't think children NEED two parents. I do think they do better often if they have them. I don't think it's fair to deny a child knowledge of who created them unless that happens to be a notorious serial killer or sex offender and telling them might cause more psychological problems than not telling them

Christ. 🙄

I think two parents are better than one parent. And children need male and female role models. Parents ideally, but not necessarily.

From the child's point of view I think what matters is that they live in a home in which they are loved and supported unconditionally and that can be from one, two or 10 people of any sex.

For parents I can only speak from my own experience but having a partner who pulls their weight is worth so much. I would have coped as a single parent because I would have had to but I don't think I would have enjoyed parenting in the way I do.

As long as a child has a healthy, stable, and loving environment, it’s doesn’t fucking matter how many parents/guardians they have.

A child only needs needs one loving parent. Once I got rid of their other arse hole of parent everyone lives became logarithmicly better. If I had another partner now I suppose all they could add is a bit of money for some luxuries. But I dont think it would be worth it as its much easier, smoother, more harmonious, more organised, more decisive, and better all around if there is just one parent.

Yes I do, ideally although it's love and security that children need and that can't be guaranteed with any combination of parents.
We aren't allowed to say that though.

Children are best off with two loving, biologically related parents, ideally a male and a female - BUT it is not necessary as long as one parent loves them and makes them feel valued and safe.

lmao

Now we know where the 1950's ideaologists are. Backwards idiots.

Of my DDs 2 best friends. 1 has 2 mums and 1 has a single mother (pretty much)

They're both incredible, well loved, happy, smart amazing girls.

So, no, you don't need a mother and a father.

Drspouse - Tom Daley isn’t ‘lying’ to anyone. That’s the beauty of LGBT families, it’s so fecking obvious that they’ve had help there’s no lying or hiding the truth or deciding whether or not to tell a kid donor sperm or a donor egg was used.

How on earth is Tom Daley lying to his child?