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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Has my DP been stealing my electricity?

282 replies

Rugpulledfromunderme8 · 03/11/2018 13:19

This is my first post after much lurking and it might be a bit outing but sod it, frankly. Apologies if this is a bit long.
So, I've been with my (now-ex) DP for nearly four years and he lives in the flat above me (which is how me met).
He's been living with me with a view to selling his place and we were going to buy somewhere together.
We've had a few rows along the way but generally been living together ok for about two and a half years.
So, the past few mornings I've noticed that a double socket in the spare bedroom has been switched on. (With nothing plugged in) I work during the day and he's doing his flat up, so he's at home during the day.
Thought nothing of it, I plug my hairdryer into the neighbouring socket and thought I'd knocked it. Until today, when the alarm clock was flashing and plugged into the 'wrong' socket - indicating that it had been unplugged and plugged back in again. A long extension cable was under the bed. (the kind that wraps around a wheel type device, so really, really long)
I shouted through the bathroom door to ask what he'd been using the socket for. No answer. Then he laughed and said he was listening to the clock radio on the alarm (so obviously not true, who sits in a spare room listening to a clock radio?!)
Basically he refused to tell me what he'd been doing. Said I'd imagined it, it was me, he'd done nothing. I got so angry because it's blatantly obvious he's been using the socket for something and he won't tell me. I can't begin to imagine what he's been doing and why he won't tell me.
So I clearly can't trust him in my flat can I? I've asked him to move out.
He says I'm being unreasonable, clearly don't trust him and 'shouldn't' be living with someone when 'I'm not the sort to trust anyone in my house.'
Wtf? I'm shell shocked. AIBU? What has he been doing?

OP posts:
HenryInTheTunnel · 03/11/2018 13:21

Strange scenario. If you think he's dishonest then you probably don't want to be financially tied to him any way.

Maelstrop · 03/11/2018 13:21

Not sure I understand how he has ‘stolen’ your electric. Has he run the extension lead to his flat? Has he had the electric in his flat cut/turned off? If he won’t tell you the truth then that is symptomatic of a poor relationship. If you can’t trust him, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship with him.

MacosieAsunter · 03/11/2018 13:24

I think he's dodged the bullet if you've lost the plot over a plug socket.

GinandGingerBeer · 03/11/2018 13:26

I'm totally confused.
You say he lives in flat above you but then you say after socket incident you've told him to move out?
Are you living together or not?

InProgress · 03/11/2018 13:27

Is he charging up his power tools on your electricity rather than his? That could be really expensive so check your electric bills.

I would trust your gut. You're getting the feeling that something isn't right better to have that now when you both have a flag each than when you've merged your finances.

InProgress · 03/11/2018 13:28

*flat each

phoebemac · 03/11/2018 13:38

Who has been living in the fat while h's been living with you? Have you been into his flat lately?

Maybe he is growing cannabis up there and using your leccy to do so!

Rugpulledfromunderme8 · 03/11/2018 13:42

Sorry for the confusion. He bought the flat above me but has been living with me for 2.5 years.
His flat is empty - he's been doing it up.
I'm concerned he may have been cut off and has been using my electricity to power his tools doing his place up.
(He's definitely not growing cannabis!! I've been in his flat a few days ago)

OP posts:
category12 · 03/11/2018 13:43

Is he cheap generally?

If you think he's choosing to use your electric supply for his tools etc while he's doing up his flat, then yeah, it's a dumping offence.

usertall · 03/11/2018 13:44

Wow!

ElainaElephant · 03/11/2018 13:45

If he lives with you, does he pay towards the electricity?

SaucyJack · 03/11/2018 13:46

Surely you’re both paying the bill if he’s been living with you for 2 years? How is it yours to steal?

If you’d dump your partner because he’s been using plug sockets in his primary residence to charge tools, then yeah- he’s probably had a lucky escape.

19lottie82 · 03/11/2018 13:47

Switch everything in your place off then watch your meter to see what’s being used

user1981287 · 03/11/2018 13:47

I think he's dodged the bullet if you've lost the plot over a plug socket.

This x 100. You're supposed to love the guy and you're asking him to move out over potentially a few pence of electricity. Thats bonkers.

category12 · 03/11/2018 13:48

I presume OP refers to it as her electricity because she pays the bills. If he contributes a fair share, then SIBU.

Gemini69 · 03/11/2018 13:48

Yes OP.. sounds to me like he's be using your power supply to do work in his flat.... Flowers

MyDcAreMarvel · 03/11/2018 13:49

You are upset because your partner uses electricity in the flat he lives in.

Allthewaves · 03/11/2018 13:50

So what if he has been using the electric in the flat you both share to do up the other flat. What's the point in having electricity in his flat when he doesn't live there.

LotsToThinkOf · 03/11/2018 13:50

This is weird.

Ok, well say he was using your electricity to do up his flat so he can move into it - is that really bad? Once it's done up then he can move out of your flat. I'm presuming you're sharing bills at your flat?

Rugpulledfromunderme8 · 03/11/2018 13:50

I pay the electricity bill, he does not contribute to it.
He still pays the bill for his flat, I assume.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 03/11/2018 13:51

You're supposed to love the guy and you're asking him to move out over potentially a few pence of electricity. Thats bonkers.

He's an ex. He is taking the piss.

SpottingTheZebras · 03/11/2018 13:51

I think there must be a whole lot more to this story for you to dump him over the plug sockets looking like they’ve been used for the past few mornings.

ElainaElephant · 03/11/2018 13:51

Well there's your problem. If he's living with you, he should be contributing to the bills.

LotsToThinkOf · 03/11/2018 13:52

Well how long has that been the arrangement? If it's always been that way hasn't he technically been stealing your electricity the whole time he's lived with you?

category12 · 03/11/2018 13:52

Does he pay towards other bills in your flat/pay rent?

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