To want my DH to come home after my car crash?

[pinkcardi]

I had a car crash today, driver ran into me whilst I was waiting to turn right off the main road. Everyone ok, but shaken. Two small DC in the car. Other car a write off, ours badly damaged.

This happened 7.30am, DH was just arriving at work in local big city.

I dealt with it all, police, insurance, car garage, replacement car. Got amazing MIL to pick us up, she stayed a few hours after too which was a real help. Made tea etc.

My DH obviously concerned, on the phone etc, but hasn't come home. I asked at 11ish and he said he would stay for an internal meeting then come home, so he'll prob be back by 5.

I wondered if yours would have come straight home? My head and neck hurt, I want to sleep, I have two slightly upset children. AIBU just to secretly want him here?

No, he wouldn’t have left work for a crash in which we were all okay. His work wouldn’t be impressed trust me! If you’d been hospitalised then of course, but not for this.

If me and the children were fine then no, I wouldn’t ask or expect my husband to come from work.

I hope you are ok though, it must have been quite frightening at the time

Sorry to hear about your accident OP. I recently had an accident and was taken to A&E and the car was a total write off. When I was taken out of the ambulance at the hospital DP was there waiting. He then drove me home when I was discharged and stayed with me for the rest of the day.

I'm not sure he would've left work if I hadn't needed to be taken to A&E / had the car totally written off.

YADNBU to want him there. But equally I don't think he's BU to have not left work as he knows relatively speaking you're okay.

Mine would if I asked. But I wouldn't ask if none of us were injured.

No my DH wouldn’t leave work in that situation either. Hope you feel better soon

I doubt it if everyone was OK and his mum was there helping out.

YANBU to want him there, but he is NBU to remain at work.

It's ok you asked and it's ok he said no. His mum was there

Ok, fair enough. My first car crash so not really sure what to expect.

I have the DC in front of the TV and am trying to snooze on the sofa and rest my head.

If it makes a difference it's his business so no boss etc, entirely up to him.

But happy to admit that I'm being unreasonable and that I'm glad I've not made a fuss about him coming back.

My partner would without me asking, but he has a very flexible employer and can get work done from home. He's also never taken a day off in six years for sickness or anything other than scheduled holidays, so it wouldn't be a regular occurrence for him.

Even though you were all OK thankfully, you must be very shaken and sore and trying to deal with the kids too – I'd think if he could get away easily enough, he probably should. As to whether he's BU though, it depends on his work dynamic and how possible it is for him to leave.

I asked if he could come back early, and 5pm is early for him, so he has done as asked to be fair.

I think I'm just a bit all over the place, not sure my decision making it quite spot on 😀

My DH would come home if I asked him, but in your situation, I wouldn’t ask him to. It sounds like you’ve all had a lucky escape but are generally fine. It’s not really an ‘emergency’ as such, so no practical need for him to return. I guess if you are in bits though then emotionally, that’s another matter..

DP would but he only works 20mmins away and has a very flexible job.

Try and get some rest, let the kids veg in front of the TV until he gets home. Everyone is unhurt and safe and that's the main thing.

I don't think my DH would come home either. But I'd be the same as you and you're not BU to want him home. I'm sure he'll give you a big hug when he gets in and you'll feel much better. Glad you're all ok

Neither of us would come home from work early for this.

No, I wouldn't expect DH to come home if everyone was fine and we had lovely Granny nearby who had already taken care of us.

Depending on the business it can be really hard to take time out when you own it. Staff don't appreciate the feeling that the boss isn't pulling his weight and you can't afford to let customers down.

YANBU. You have had a shock and you are not feeling well. You may feel more bruised and battered tomorrow. My husband would not be able to come home at will as he is in emergency services. I hope you feel better

Okay, so I’m going to go against the crowd here and say that I absolutely would expect DH to come home and check that you’re all okay - life is too short, work shouldn’t come before loved ones! Hope you’re okay and that you get some much-needed TLC later

This happened to me - DH did take the day off un-asked as I had suspected mild concussion and had 2 & 3 year old. He told his boss what happened but still did a few emails/calls etc. We were all fine, I was all bashed up the next day however.

I’ve had this happen with a new born and preschooler in the back. DH didn’t leave work and I didn’t ask him to. Car was a total write off as well.

You're right, nothing he can practically do. I'm just feeling a bit shaken and alone.

But the good news is that he's going to be back at 4.30 which is lovely.

Glad you are all ok. DH would come home if I asked. If I said I was ok he'd probably make an effor to be home early. If you want him home ask him.

That’s good. It is a horrible situation. I’m still really nervous about people driving too closely behind me. Hope you feel better.

DP would come home even if I asked him NOT to – he's very protective and family would always come before work.

But then he's also not in a line of work where saying "My family's been in a car crash, I'm going home" would be treated as disastrous or unacceptable...

Probably not depending on work commitments he has to make a judgement from what you told him and your mood at the time. It all sounds normal in the circumstances and you seem lucky. I am sure from what you have said that he would have been home if you absolutely needed it. You probably had a bit of delayed shock.