To want my DH to come home after my car crash?

[pinkcardi]

I had a car crash today, driver ran into me whilst I was waiting to turn right off the main road. Everyone ok, but shaken. Two small DC in the car. Other car a write off, ours badly damaged.

This happened 7.30am, DH was just arriving at work in local big city.

I dealt with it all, police, insurance, car garage, replacement car. Got amazing MIL to pick us up, she stayed a few hours after too which was a real help. Made tea etc.

My DH obviously concerned, on the phone etc, but hasn't come home. I asked at 11ish and he said he would stay for an internal meeting then come home, so he'll prob be back by 5.

I wondered if yours would have come straight home? My head and neck hurt, I want to sleep, I have two slightly upset children. AIBU just to secretly want him here?

I would expect my DH to make his apologies and come home really. Only exceptions would be for a job that cannot be immediately covered/glossed over by team members and was hugely important to others, like a doctor or teacher. Office type jobs, with meetings that could be summarised and emailed I don’t think are more important than your wife and children, no.

@theholidays
You should really go and get yourself checked out at the hospital OP,having neck and head pain after a car accident should never be ignored. You are quite right you really do need to see someone as soon as possible, it can take up to 3 days for concussion to develop and whiplash can also take several days to come out in full, it is possible to get whiplash any where along the spine. You must call 111 and if you start vomiting go straight to 999. If you feel like a relaxing bath,Don’t unless you have some one with you because if you do have concussion you could easily pass out from the warmth of the water. No YNBU to expect your OH to try to get home as soon as possible. Shock often masks other injuries. Better to be safe and err on the side of caution than ignore the pain and hope it just goes away. I know that A&E minor injuries units are very busy but they would rather deal with you there rather than dealing with you as a 999 emergency.
Make sure if you do go to sleep that you are woken every hour to check your are still lucid. Take care of yourself you have little ones that may have nightmares and be genuinely unhappy at the idea of getting into a car again. And yes I am talking from experience.Be well,

Yabu. You had your mother in law there. No one was hurt. I wouldn’t ask or expect my husband to come home.

My husband would be there in a heartbeat. Even more so given the fact that the children were in the car. If I heard my children had been in a traffic collision I would WANT to be with them and so would my husband. Wild horses wouldn’t keep me away! So I don’t think YABU at all. Maybe he wouldn’t come home for you but it’s pretty shocking to me that someone wouldn’t leave work to see their children after such an incident. Injuries are not always visible and not always apparent immediately. I hope you’re feeling ok today 💐

My husband would have been there for me, as I would be for him. He is far more important to me than work and vice versa.

I hope you are ok today and taking care.

I'm really surprised by all these responses. If my husband and kids were in a car crash I'd leave work in a heartbeat and so would he. I can't imagine a scenario where either of us would be able to concentrate and if any of the people who report into me told me their family had been in a crash I'd send them home immediately even if everyone was fine. It's a big shock and alot of logistics to sort out

My DP would come home I wouldn't ask he just would. If I was a work I would go home for him.
If I was at work and someone's partner phoned in we would all insist they went home.
Of course you go home. It's not just the OP two children were involved and scared as well.

I think some of you must all live and work in a different universe.

I couldn’t stay away if I were your dh. Unless he has a job of high responsibility to others like a surgeon etc., he should want to be there.

We had an accident a few years ago, thankfully no injuries, and my DH said he'd come home but I said no. He worked an hour away and thre was no point in us all sitting round at A&E. It's totally not U to want your husband to come home but in reality there was no real need. Hope you're all not too sore 🌸

If you are well enough to post on Mumset, you are enough to go to work.

Count your blessings and just carry on as normal.

If you are well enough to post on Mumset, you are enough to go to work.

Don’t be bloody ridiculous. I’m sitting here in a great deal of pain from surgery on my hand, but I’m on Mumsnet to take my mind off it. I was supposed to be in hospital for three nights but only stayed for one, because my child needs me and I’m self employed. I’m doing as little work as possible. Being on Mumsnet has nothing to do with someone’s health.

Back to the point. I wouldn’t have expected my husband to leave work under those circumstances, but I’m a stubborn, very independent being.

Tbh I think (and I might very well be wrong!) but there’s a big difference in response whether people are in London (or commuter towns) versus the rest of the country. London based are just used to working longer hours and putting work first. It’s just what I’ve personally noted so I could be wrong!

I think it may be the reverse MrsGB2225 - people working in the North may be more worried about losing their jobs as it often takes a while to find something else. I think the length of hours worked is usually related to the professional rather than the area.

As a Northerner who has worked in Lancashire/Cheshire/Staffs/Oxford/Bucks and London (my CV is very long!) work has always been important, with very long hours ---- but never more important than my husband.