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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I need to have a difficult conversation with a colleague today.

545 replies

TheWifeofRequirement · 01/11/2018 07:58

I’m 6 months into a role where I’m an expert in charge of a team of slightly junior experts.

My colleague used to be a junior expert under another ‘head of’ who had the role before me, but before I was given the job my colleague took a sideways step into a facilitation role which, although requires him to have some knowledge of my area, no longer requires him to get involved in the day to day.

Anyway, since I started, this colleague has struggled to maintain distance from the specialism and is dictating to me how to do said specialism on a daily basis.

It all came to a head over the last 2 days. He asked me to proof read an email and give feedback before it went to a client. I read it, and asked him to make a minor change because he was promising something in the email I’m not prepared to deliver. It was a minor thing: basically he promised to report to them daily which would be untenable from a commercial perspective and would put pressure on my team for no additional benefit. I asked him to change this to weekly reports and adhoc check ins with the client, he argued back and I clarified that as it’s my team delivering this, it will be weekly not daily.

He sent the email promising daily reporting.

I feel patronised, undermined and really bloody cross.

His role is to facilitate, not to dictate to me how to do my job and I’m now going to have to phrase this in a way that’s diplomatic and I’m struggling.

WIBU to basically tell him to back the fuck off and let me do my job? If so, how on earth do I phrase this??

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 06/11/2018 12:48

Have you finished training the twat yet OP? Is he suitably chastened? Love that your manager chuckled and said “well played” - he clearly has the measure of you and this total time waster!

picklemepumpkin · 06/11/2018 12:49

I'm not placemarking. Thought I should mention that...

MulticolourMophead · 06/11/2018 14:58

I really hope OD got put in his place.

Crazyfrog007 · 06/11/2018 15:52

Can't wait for this update

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 06/11/2018 16:04

I think the lack of update bodes ill. OD doesn't seem like the type to take kindly to a thinly disguised telling off.

happypoobum · 06/11/2018 16:15

OD must be fuming Grin

Binglebong · 06/11/2018 16:50

Ok is probably still working - give her a chance to sack him.

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 06/11/2018 18:20

OP I hope you're currently engaged in a victory shag 

Keeps hopes up for an update soon...

Restingbitchface101 · 06/11/2018 19:45

I need to have a difficult conversation with a colleague today.
icelollycraving · 06/11/2018 20:01

Did he phone in sick? Did you kill him?
Am rather invested in the outcome.

RainbowsArePretty · 06/11/2018 20:15

Resting 😂

justilou1 · 06/11/2018 20:17

Gaaaah! What happened???

androbbob · 06/11/2018 20:48

Come back OP!!!

MeOldBamboo · 06/11/2018 20:49

Come on OP! Tell us what happened!

callmeadoctor · 06/11/2018 20:51

Where is she????????Sad

RainbowsArePretty · 06/11/2018 21:02

Anyone else hoping OP is still rolling out the training in a death by PowerPoint fashion!?

Crazyfrog007 · 06/11/2018 21:04

OP, I totally get that you have a life and stuff and it's totally your story to share when you want but...

I'm totally voiding all the sensible things I said above. Drop whatever your doing and update us now 😂😂

whiteroseredrose · 06/11/2018 21:08

Probably having a nice big glass of wine!

Lariflete · 06/11/2018 21:20

Maybe the training is still going on? Grin

FreezerBird · 06/11/2018 21:28

Anyone else hoping OP is still rolling out the training in a death by PowerPoint fashion!?

Absolutely. She's just starting on the third of the presentations...

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 06/11/2018 21:44

Surely by now it's celebratory shag time (with dh, not od!!)

Brenna24 · 06/11/2018 22:31

Grin death by Powerpoint.

Sooooo, how did the training go?

BruceAndNosh · 06/11/2018 23:18

I'm worried that only one of them emerged from the training room conscious...

LoniceraJaponica · 06/11/2018 23:20

I'm on tenterhooks

justilou1 · 06/11/2018 23:31

OMG - @Needmoresleep - OP would kill OD if she shagged him! (I have a sneaking suspicion that the cause of his behaviour is deeply rooted in his being unable to rise to the occasion in the first place anyway....)