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To think she was rude! Trick or Treating, am I a CF?

242 replies

forwhatyouare · 31/10/2018 20:23

Long story short, we went trick or treating as an extended family tonight. About 5 kids in total, including my 1 year old.

I came to the door for every knock (we only knock on decorated houses or those with a few pumpkins), and collected sweets in a bag for my DS.

On one of the knocks, I collected a sweet in the bag and the woman who answered pulled me to the side and said "He looks cute, he's getting these for you though I suppose "

I said "haha", thinking I had mistaken her tone and she was joking. She was not. She said "I saw you eating them from across the road".

If truth be told, I was eating a sweet a little earlier.

AIBU to say this is bloody rude?!

Just give sweets to wherever is dressed up or don't at all. It would be different if I was dressed for Halloween and there alone, but I was standing with DS in my arms, with 4 little children surrounding me... Hardly the cheeky fucker of the century.

OP posts:
HerRoyalNotness · 01/11/2018 02:17

We went out tonight and my 19mo trotted up to the doors with her brothers and bucket. No one turned her away and all were very, very nice —even when she stood on the porch for ages after they’d closed the door looking at their porch decor—

Caterina99 · 01/11/2018 02:20

I just took my 3 and 1 year old trick or treating (we’re in the US). People were actively forcing sweets on us “for the baby too” even though she didn’t have a bucket and was sat in the buggy. It’s quite clear that DH and I will eat most of them as there’s no way I’d let my 3 year old eat a massive tub of sweets, let alone the 1 year old!

PollyFlinderz · 01/11/2018 02:29

I'm American and didn't know the UK is doing Halloween and trick or treating now, or at least they weren't when I was living there

You need to read up on the history of Halloween. The tradition is older than America itself.

ThanksItHasPockets · 01/11/2018 03:54

OT and absolutely none of my business but I’m intrigued that your DS is both vegetarian and dairy free but you aren’t.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/11/2018 04:41

I don't think she was rude - rude would have been refusing to give you any! Having said that, I also think she didn't need to say anything, except in a jokey way, so if she wasn't joking about it, she should probably have kept quiet.

I don't like T or Ting anyway - I do see it as a sort of begging, but also the kids end up with too many sweets (usually) which will often go to waste as they're only really allowed to eat a few at a time and forget about them before they're done - same with party bags.
Having said that I did go to a friend's last night, as she doesn't let her girls out to do T or Ting either, but in the end a few kids came by their house (which was all decorated and open for others to come) and invited them back to their own houses, so they all ended up with more sweets than they know what to do with anyway Hmm. Not falling for that one again!!

INeedNewShoes · 01/11/2018 05:31

OT and absolutely none of my business but I’m intrigued that your DS is both vegetarian and dairy free but you aren’t.

I was just about to say that I can't help but be interested in this too!

Back on topic, if I were to take 18m DD out to knock on doors I wouldn't take sweets. She is also dairy free but also hasn't had sweets yet.

30 years ago my siblings and I were trundling around the village asking 'penny for a lantern' as we held our turnip lanterns by the string and smelt the turnip on the lid slowly cooking by candle!

Mominatrix · 01/11/2018 06:14

I'm very confused - your 1 year old is veggie and dairy free yet you are not? Did s/he make that decision at the ripe age of 6 months?

Anyways, even if s/he were not either of these, why would a 1 year old be eating Haribos - would they not be a choking risk?

Weird thread!

ShatnersBalloonFromPennywise · 01/11/2018 06:27

I do think you were a bit of a CF. Of course you've got to take the baby with you, but you don't take sweets for yourself via them. It's not a due that your neighbours are paying, one sweet per child presented!

It's not entering into the spirit of it imo.

twattymctwatterson · 01/11/2018 06:38

Couple of people on this thread seem to think the UK = England. I'm in Scotland. Scotland is in the UK and we were guising long before Americans

PollyFlinderz · 01/11/2018 06:45

Couple of people on this thread seem to think the UK = England. I'm in Scotland. Scotland is in the UK and we were guising long before Americans


Poppylizzyrose · 01/11/2018 07:01

We went out three mums (I’m pregnant) one 2,4,7. Only the 4 and 7 went up to doors and we made sure they took only 1 each and said thank you. 2 was cuddled up in his pushchair, the odd house saw him and gave his brother an extra for him and we said our thanks. His mum didn’t ask for him because she thinks he’s too young and shouldn’t have a bag full. I will confess at one house giving out Quality street a child was at the door and I took a purple one! Blush I wouldn’t if he’d been an adult lol. I just ate it there and then yummy! But I figure I’m heavily pregnant and deserve it Wink

The other mums just joked about pinching some sweets later, no one would want it to be too obvious Grin think they were both a bit shocked I took 1!

giantbanger · 01/11/2018 07:04

Children and babies with PKU and some other conditions will be dairy free and vegetarian.

Children with any kind of issue digesting protein will be dairy free and veggie. And probably have a supplement to take.

Not that I’m saying the op child has that

Frazzled2207 · 01/11/2018 07:13

You were unreasonable and I'm pleased you now agree.
Round here last night a large about of children were out but all of those collecting were between the ages of about 2 and 10. Not babies or grown ups.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 01/11/2018 07:16

I think it's been meant to come out as a joke and come out wrong. It was a bit rude of her to say she saw you eating a sweet from across the road. That's none of her business.

Livpool · 01/11/2018 07:18

There were lots of young children out last night, and I assumed their sweets would be eaten by the adults! Weird to say something though!

Celebelly · 01/11/2018 07:20

I've lived my entire life in various parts of north Scotland, central belt, east and west coast and have never heard of mischief night!

I found this on a BBC story and it seems to be mainly a thing in Liverpool:

'Since the 1950s, Mischief Night appears to have died out in all areas of the UK except northern England, and it is not at all clear why.'

MartyMcFly1984 · 01/11/2018 07:29

I'm American and didn't know the UK is doing Halloween and trick or treating now, or at least they weren't when I was living there
I’m english, and was doing it in the 80s, so I assume you lived in the uk before then...

The mischief thing comes up every year on mn. It’s never resolved. We did mischief night on 4th nov, as it was the night Guy Fawkes stole the explosives for parliament. Apparently it’s reason to run amock every year. I don’t know what the background is to having it on other dates.

Op, she was observant. If you’re taking sweets for a child who cannot eat them, and eating them yourself, she was spot on. I just don’t think you expected to be called on it

DarlingNikita · 01/11/2018 17:27

This thread is really weird. YANBU. Fuck's sake. She pulled you aside? Hmm What is she, a detective? And has she nothing better to do than watch out for adults eating sweets from across the road?
You could have explained politely your son's dietary needs/preferences. But I think she ought to have just kept her bloody nose out and got a life.

PacificOpal · 01/11/2018 17:33

Yeah, give that house a swerve next year.

nearlythesummer · 01/11/2018 18:06

Utterly ridiculous! She sounds like she was being cheeky. What on earth was she doing watching you eat a sweet from the other side of the road? There were all sorts of ages out trick or treating where we live. It's fun for children-whatever their age! If you have a problem with this, then simply don't do it.

RebelWitchFace · 01/11/2018 18:06

Meh I took DD trick or treating the first time when she was 1 and 9 months. She ate most of the sweets except for the sticky refresher type ones. OH ate those.

MissConductUS · 01/11/2018 18:14

YABU. I wouldn't give candy to a teenager, let alone an adult. It's supposed to be a treat for the children.

ChanklyBore · 01/11/2018 18:29

I’ll give sweets to anyone dressed up who wants to know on my door. It’s supposed to be fun FOR EVERYONE. Why the hell do it otherwise?

Thankfully most of our neighbours feel the same as they decorate their houses absolutely wonderfully, and dispense sweeties with joy. Nearly everyone answering doors was dress up, even if it was only pulling on a mask to answer the door. Many in full costume. Many out on the streets doing acts, staging scenes, lights, sounds, audio effects, the works. Most of the adults accompanying the kids are dressed up. Most of the people answering the doors tried to give me a sweet too (i decline usually but accept one or two) if I decline they usually give more to the DC. Having drilled them to only take one, most houses were calling them back down the path to take another! Teens, adults,’s fun. Stop putting limits on it.

Aeroflotgirl · 01/11/2018 18:40

Well yeh doh, of course a 1 year old will not be eating sweets, and adults will probably be eating them or being distributed amongst the kids. I think her comments were tongue in cheek type thing. She was rude to comment really.

flyingspaghettimonster · 01/11/2018 18:43

Here in Philly last night half my candy went to non costumed parents of babies with their own bag each for candy. Weird as deck. I never collected candy for my kids till they were old enough to toddle up to the door themselves, and although we always get some "mommy tax" it's only a few pieces. I think it is weird collecting it for a babe in arms. But also rude to mention it to you.

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