Is my friend being unreasonable?

[upsideup]

My friend has a dd the same age as dd2(11). They are not best friends and originally only friends through us but hang out without us sometimes now they're older and so far have always been invited to each others parties.

DD1(23) is a makeup artist and my friend asked her if she could do makeup for her daughter and some of her friends before they go to her birthday party. DD1 doesn't normally do parties or kids makeup but because it was for my friend and she assumed dd2 would be there she agreed and offered a discounted price.

Originally dd1 was going to go to friends house in the afternoon to do their makeup before the party. She normally charges less when clients come to her which friend realised and changed the plan to drop her dd and friends round here in the morning and pick them up later asking for the price to be dropped further. DD1 agreed to this and dropped the price because she thought she was doing makeup for her sister so it wouldn't be so bad having and looking after them all at our house.

The invites were handed out last week and dd2 hasn't been invited. DD1 has also been given a list of the girls invited because some of them aren't allowed certain makeup, dd isn't on the list. I definitely don't think friends dd has to invite mine to her party but think it was really rude of friend to ask dd1 to do their makeup and host some of the party at our house if dd2 wasn't invited. We are going to have to take dd2 out somewhere that day so she's not in when her friends are downstairs getting their makeup done for a party she's not going to.
I'm really annoyed my friend didn't consider any of this and am putting off seeing her in case the party is mentioned as I dont know what to day. DD1 can't back out now but wouldnt have agreed to doing it if she knew dd2 wasnt going to be invited.

Do you think my friend is being unreasonable? Or am I and over thinking it?

It is quite obvious that op other dd is not invited, she hasen't been given an invitation, and she is not on the make up list, so don't insinuate that she might be.

Either the make up happens at party mum's house or she takes her business elsewhere, it is not on for part of the party to happen at op dd house, very rude, inconsiderate, and it is rubbing her face right in it. What kind of nasty person thinks this is ok. I would be distancing myself from her tbh, she doesen't sound very nice.

I wasn't insinuating anything I was explaining from a business point of view that it could look bad for her and her business if she was to do the job.

I've seen businesses fold because they don't take any pride in themselves or the work that they do. Its easy to lose track and chase money.

No I wasen't referring to you Buzz, it was posters who were saying to op, you never know she might be invited, etc. No she is not, and it is very obvious.

buzz
But by that definition ops dd1 is therefore damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t. This is a one off, she will learn from it and survive. She’s still living with her family so she’s not going to be destitute.

Buzz

DD1(23) is a makeup artist and my friend asked her if she could do makeup for her daughter and some of her friends before they go to her birthday party. DD1 doesn't normally do parties or kids makeup but because it was for my friend and she assumed dd2 would be there she agreed and offered a discounted price.

Your poor DD2 though if her sister does the friends make-up even at the friends house. They will still all be talking about it in school before and after, showing pictures, etc. Imagine if it was DD1 going to do your friends make up for an even you were excluded from but wanted to go to.

Buzz what are you actually talking about? Don’t get what you partner and driving to some property and his gas safe??? is to do with the issue in hand???
Plus if you had actually read the ops original post you would see that dd1 does NOT want to get into kids make up. She was only doing what she thought was a favour for mum’s pal (hopefully ex pal). Just don’t see where the desperate and money grabbing bit comes into play?

Why would you not just get in touch with you friend and explain what she has done is thoughtless?!

Take what you want from what I posted I stand by it. She doesn't have to do it and take her money. What about her sister and if thats what I am thinking what will those other parents think and be saying to each other. She could find her another make up artist to do the job in her place. There are options without shitting on her own door step.

If DD1 goes and puts makeup on DD2's school friends at the party what will the other parents think of her. They will question why she took the job is she desperate for money and is her business not doing so well. Why is DD2 not here and she is. She may come across looking desperate and money grabby. The beauty industry is saturated she could make herself toxic as there are plenty of other makeup artists out there who they can hire.

You're overthinking this. No one is going to think dd1 is desperate or money grabbing.

Completing the job you've hired to do makes you look like a professional. It would be worse if dd1 didn't do the job as the mum may tell others she is unreliable.

Doing the make up at the friend's house and then avoiding the friend and mum for life is a sensible solution.

Buzz what are you actually talking about? Don’t get what you partner and driving to some property and his gas safe??? is to do with the issue in hand???

Its about taking pride in yourself and what you do. I like to use examples and tell stories to explain myself. HTH

But your example Ian irrelevant and makes no sense Buzz. Do you want to explain it?

Kardashianlove I would suggest if the girls are going on about how good the the makeup was and showing pictures etc she laughs it off and says “you only got it once, my sister does mine whenever I want.” Think that would make them all jealous. of dd1.

*is irrelevant

Buzz I totally agree, and if I were dd1, I would not be doing it, unless it was at party mum's house, on principle. My sister will not be treated so poorly in her own home. I am sure there are plenty of other make up artists that do kids make up.

You don't have to take every job that is given in case you ruin your reputation. People have more respect when you can say no and be no nonsense thats why people come to us. I do the admin and he is a respectable engineer. Her DD1 is taking the job on knowing her sister could get upset and resentful where's the respect in that.

It would be no discussion on the matter - family loyalty first in this house. No way would my eldest do a job like that whilst their little sibling was excluded from the very same event. I don't agree with the poster on page one who said that it's just another job, like any other. Not like this it isn't.
What is the CF mother thinking? How can she be so callous?

Yes the party needs to move

Aeroflot it isn’t going to be happening at OPs house. You really haven’t read this thread a thing all have you?

And Buzz is talking crap. The ops dd1 is being professsional and carrying out job she was contacted to do? Can’t see why anyone but Buzz would see this as desperate and money grabbing.

Would you do it to your DD?

I have thank you Chucky, the mum's attitude towards a little girl is just disgusting, how does she think what she is doing is ok. The mind boggles at times.

Chucky you know why you wouldn't because it would look really bad on you not only as a business woman but also a parent.

Buzz isn't talking "crap".
The job has a conflict of interest.

Yes possibly @Chucky16 but it seems mean to put her in that position and some DC that age aren’t confident enough to pull off that line, especially if it’s just her ‘against’ a few of them. Even if she can say what you’ve suggested, she will probably still feel crap that her big sister is doing all her friends party make up for something she isn’t invited to.

It is a conflict of interest, and businesses do turn down work due to this, or have to compromise.