Is my friend being unreasonable?

[upsideup]

My friend has a dd the same age as dd2(11). They are not best friends and originally only friends through us but hang out without us sometimes now they're older and so far have always been invited to each others parties.

DD1(23) is a makeup artist and my friend asked her if she could do makeup for her daughter and some of her friends before they go to her birthday party. DD1 doesn't normally do parties or kids makeup but because it was for my friend and she assumed dd2 would be there she agreed and offered a discounted price.

Originally dd1 was going to go to friends house in the afternoon to do their makeup before the party. She normally charges less when clients come to her which friend realised and changed the plan to drop her dd and friends round here in the morning and pick them up later asking for the price to be dropped further. DD1 agreed to this and dropped the price because she thought she was doing makeup for her sister so it wouldn't be so bad having and looking after them all at our house.

The invites were handed out last week and dd2 hasn't been invited. DD1 has also been given a list of the girls invited because some of them aren't allowed certain makeup, dd isn't on the list. I definitely don't think friends dd has to invite mine to her party but think it was really rude of friend to ask dd1 to do their makeup and host some of the party at our house if dd2 wasn't invited. We are going to have to take dd2 out somewhere that day so she's not in when her friends are downstairs getting their makeup done for a party she's not going to.
I'm really annoyed my friend didn't consider any of this and am putting off seeing her in case the party is mentioned as I dont know what to day. DD1 can't back out now but wouldnt have agreed to doing it if she knew dd2 wasnt going to be invited.

Do you think my friend is being unreasonable? Or am I and over thinking it?

Buzz what hole has she to dig herself out of? Why would other parents be shocked (unless they have read this thread)? Does this mean that if anyone uses dd1 for a makeup party they have to invite dd2 to come, as she comes with the package? I have read this thread so I feel really sorry for op, dd1 and dd2. Someone who hasn’t would think that the op is in the wrong. Think about it.... op confronts party mum and in front of other mums says my daughter is doing makeup for her daughters party and she didn’t invite my other daughter.......if I was one of the mums, who didn’t know background, I would think why must dd2 be invited, she’s paying op’s dd1 so it’s a business transaction. Can’t you see that all this can lead to bullying, dd2 will suffer the backlash at school. Have some dignity and let dd2 do the makeup at party house, then it’s over and done with. None of them have to bother about the party mum or daughter again. If op confronts party mum in front of others she will be the one who looks bad. Plus, if dd1 pulls out at last minute, all the other mothers, and their children, will put the blame completely on op and her family. Next thread op puts on is that her daughter is getting bullied at school because of this.

Don’t quite get the other story about boy throwing banana skins on his vehicle Buzz? What was wrong with mum smiling at you and saying hello? I do that to other mums.

You think throwing food and banana skins on a black mans car and the mother saying hello to me knowing what her son is doing is normal. The mother wound up her son. There have been other things that have been done in the past but I was to naive to notice. I was to busy bringing up and protecting my children from ignorant people.

I think its important to support family and if her DD was bullied at school then talk to the mother again. Why should the op and her DD's be push overs to make the other girl happy and they are unhappy that makes no sense.

Chucky DD1 might have done it already and we're debating about nothing. There has to be a lesson learned here. If I was the op I would keep a close eye on DD2 and party mum's daughter relationship going forward.

Well now you all know what a CF this woman is make sure that your DD1 insists on being paid up front and in cash and doesn't pick up a make up brush until she has been. Someone with this sort of front might well be a slow/non-payer.

I agree with londonmummy1966 DD1 should make sure she's paid on arrival, though I completely understand why she feels she can't cancel/have someone else fill in.

Sounds like a rude awakening in terms of what this "friend" is like OP. Hopefully you distance yourself moving forward.

I agree DD1 was right not to cancel for her reputation and the repercussions for DD2 for the CF and her DD. Who needs enemies with friends like her, I would minimise contact after this. I hope DD2 is not to upset over it.

Buzz really sorry hadn’t put two and two together, but get it now. No, it’s not normal, it’s appalling. Can see why you may have a different ideals on supporting family if this sort of thing is happening to you. This sort of behaviour really pisses me off. Unfortunately there are some ignorant morons around and this behaviour shows just how ignorant they are and it’s mainly the parents fault. I would want to slap her. Why haven’t you got the police involved? This is a criminal matter and he is old enough to be charged with racism. Surely you should take this matter further?

I do agree that the matter in hand has probably either been done or not. I was bullied at school, so I know what it’s like. That’s the main reason why I didn’t think dd1 should pull out. If op has any sense she will distance herself from her “friend” and same goes for dd2 and her ex friend. Maybe the op will give us an update.

Wake up she isn't your friend.... friend don't do that to each other.