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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Poolside etiquette

176 replies

PollyProsecco · 29/10/2018 07:31

On holiday, family near us being overly possessive with their inflatables. Our children have been told not to touch them by us, but being kids, they are obviously tempted to play with them. Especially when they are floating on the pool with no one else playing with them. Adults of family keep giving each other cross looks and now the inflatables have been placed far away from anyone’s reach. I just think this behaviour is odd - if it were the other way round, I’d happily let other children play with our stuff.
Interestingly, their children are quite happy to share their things and play with our children.
The situation now just creates an awkward atmosphere poolside. Who is being U?

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 29/10/2018 07:33

You need to teach your children not to touch other people's stuff without permission. It's a good life lesson. Why don't you buy them their own pool toys?

Biancadelriosback · 29/10/2018 07:33

Id say you are. You can't just use someone else's stuff without their permission.

LoniceraJaponica · 29/10/2018 07:34

Inflatables are really cheap in holday resorts. Just buy some for your own children.

Butttons · 29/10/2018 07:34

The inflatables belong to them. I don't think you can demand they share them. If their children are happy to share their things with yours that's great. I guess the parents are policing what is being shared

BathFullOfEels · 29/10/2018 07:34

Don’t let your kids touch other people’s stuff. Problem solved.

Escolar · 29/10/2018 07:34

I expect they've had a situation in the past when their inflatables have gone missing. I don't think they're being unreasonable (although obviously it also wouldn't be unreasonable if they shared the inflatables). Why don't you buy some for your kids? I expect there is a nearby shop/kiosk selling them.

Houseonahill · 29/10/2018 07:35

Sorry YABU you need to teach your children not to touch and now they have moved the inflatables that's should be easier than ever. I wouldn't want to share inflatables because if someone else punctured one accidently my kids would be gutted and I'd have to replace them.

ZoeWashburne · 29/10/2018 07:35

YABU- they're not yours. Of course its a bit odd, but you are not entitled to play with other people's things. People leave magazines and towels poolside, doesn't mean you can start using them.

I understand the confusion at first thinking they were part of the hotel. But they explained they were not to be touched. Good chance to teach your children about not touching things that aren't theirs. Also, It sounds like these people took the inflatables out of the pool so the problem is solved.

For the record, I would happily share, but not everyone thinks that way and they are entitled to do what they want with their property.

littlepeas · 29/10/2018 07:35

Buy your own.

SouthWestmom · 29/10/2018 07:35

I'm a bit like this because:

It's only cheap but I'd still have to get off my arse and replace it if it burst/got lost

If my kids decide they want to play we are now in a 'taking turns' situation - minefield!

When we leave for the day we have to interrupt the other kids and take them off them.

Don't mind if my kids are in the pool and sharing .

Bunnybigears · 29/10/2018 07:35

Buy your kids their own inflatables. I would happily let other kids play with things we arent using but I have also had trouble actually getting them back of the borrower and my kids would be too shy to ask so woupd just give up their toy which they shouldnt have to do.

Pfingstrose · 29/10/2018 07:35

Just buy your own inflatables. Problem solved.

PersonaNonGarter · 29/10/2018 07:36

YABU. Get your own inflatables. The parents are exchanging glances because it is obvious your DC want to play with j flat ales but you have t for them any and are now expecting other people to make up for that.

PunkrockerGirl59 · 29/10/2018 07:37

But your own. Job done.

Quartz2208 · 29/10/2018 07:39

The kids are playing in the pool not with the inflatables and they put them somewhere safe so they did not lose sight of them and then have to figure out where they are and which one they are.

Not sure what is being unreasonable about that

Owlettele · 29/10/2018 07:42

YABU other kids can be really pushy for a turn with things when the child who they belong too really wants to keep playing with them. I shouldn't have to keep telling children they belong to mine as their own parents should do it. However, often don't seem to pay much attention as long as they don't have to get up off their dun loungers. Really annoys me. Buy your own toys.

HolyMountain · 29/10/2018 07:42

They don’t want to share their stuff with other families , I don’t think that’s totally unreasonable.

As suggested, buy your own.

WipsGlitter · 29/10/2018 07:51

Those massive pool inflatables should be banned. Take up too much room and then they're left floating about with no one on them.

Having said that YABU. If you must, buy your own.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 29/10/2018 07:56

Of course the OP could buy her own but come on what sort of people would mind kids on holiday touching their inflatables?

If mine weren't playing with them I wouldn't mind other dc using them as long they looked after them and didn't take them out of the pool.

Biancadelriosback · 29/10/2018 07:56

When I was about 6 I had a brilliant inflatable whale on holiday. Another mum told me to share with her children (she told me not to be spiteful and let her DD have a turn) and lo and behold they popped it. Never said sorry or offered to replace it. I wouldn't let my dad throw it out either so my uninflated whale still had to come down to the pool each day with us...

Don't be this parent.

Original poster
PollyProsecco · 29/10/2018 08:00

Thanks for your replies. Just to clarify - we have told and repeatedly tell our children not to touch other people’s belongings. I have been policing the situ all morning - not just sitting on my sunlounger ignoring the situation. I am also not averse to buying our own but we leave soon so seems a bit pointless. But if their children want to play with our children and willingly share things like snorkels, do I step in and tell their child not to share? Or risk the wrath of the parents? It just all seems a bit awkward even though no one is actually at fault...

OP posts:
JellySlice · 29/10/2018 08:01

Within their rights to keep their toys to themselves. They were BU at first to leave the toys in the pool when their children weren't playing with them , and then tell off other children. They are doing the right thing now, putting the toys away from others, but they should stop their sulky looks.

Sometimes I'm willing to let other children play without pool or beach toys, sometimes not. I've had too many situations when I've gone to reclaim a toy and had the parents insist that it's theirs. So, if I'm not willing to share, then I don't leave them available. End of.

Orchidflower1 · 29/10/2018 08:02

Yabu - buy your own. Are you going to go to the shop and replace the exact same ones if your dc pop them- no probably not. They could be toys bought by a grandparent for dc to take on holiday or any other random reason but they are not yours. Unless you start buying ice creams/ drinks etc as a thank you when the children are allowing your dc to use them- do not touch them!

Hippywannabe · 29/10/2018 08:05

I hate inflatables in a pool. Take them into the sea.
Pools should be for people to swim in , not for huge inflatables taking up half the pool, teens jumping on them sending themminto people, small kids getting stuck under them etc.
Got back yesterday from a Tui Family Life hotel which was the best hotel ever for families/couples and was delighted that they only allowed swimming aids in the 4 pools.

Strongmummy · 29/10/2018 08:07

Ignore it and have another cocktail.

You’ve told your kids not to touch their stuff. They’ve moved their stuff out of the way. If their kids wanna share with yours let them and they can sort it out.

Relax and enjoy!