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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Poolside etiquette

176 replies

PollyProsecco · 29/10/2018 07:31

On holiday, family near us being overly possessive with their inflatables. Our children have been told not to touch them by us, but being kids, they are obviously tempted to play with them. Especially when they are floating on the pool with no one else playing with them. Adults of family keep giving each other cross looks and now the inflatables have been placed far away from anyone’s reach. I just think this behaviour is odd - if it were the other way round, I’d happily let other children play with our stuff.
Interestingly, their children are quite happy to share their things and play with our children.
The situation now just creates an awkward atmosphere poolside. Who is being U?

OP posts:
PiperPublickOccurrences · 29/10/2018 08:48

The sharing thing works fine when everyone is on the same page with returning things once they've finished and being respectful with other people's possessions. OP most probably falls into this category, as do her kids.

Not everyone does though.

SnuggyBuggy · 29/10/2018 08:53

I saw the most amazing inflatable swan in ALDI, wish I had an excuse to buy one

Hippywannabe · 29/10/2018 09:16

Holiday swimming pools should be for everyone to enjoy not just for splashing about. Lots of people on holiday do want to actually swim in the pool that they have also paid for. Inflatables are often ridiculously big, half a dozen crocodiles, a couple of flamingoes, an armchair or two and half the pool is taken up along with parents with the attitude that their child's wishes trump everyone else's.
Holidays are so great for families to actually have time to relax together and enjoy a break but surely people need to think if they are preventing someone else's enjoyment too. I agree inflateables are fun but not in a pool. An adult should be able to properly supervise their child with an inflatable in the sea where there is space, if they aren't able to do so, they shouldn't be being used at all.

doodleygirl · 29/10/2018 09:16

I am with you OP cant understand why sharing is such a big deal. My kids always shared and I cant remember any other kids not doing so.

Some of you on this thread are serious joy suckers.

MyBrexitIsIll · 29/10/2018 09:17

Well I have to say, if I didn’t want other children to play with my dcs toys/inflatables, I would tell my dcs to bring them out of the pool and next to us.
Who on earth is leaving an inflatable in the pool wo playing with it whilst expecting no other child to touch them???
Plus they take space which means they are an annoy ace to everyone who is using the pool, incl the adults.
So I’m struggling to understand the ‘looks’

Having said that, you’ve told your dcs not to play with other people toys. That’s plenty.

museumum · 29/10/2018 09:29

The family with the inflatables need to move them away out of the pool when they’re not on them so others can enjoy the pool!
You can’t just leave them floating in the pool and get arsey if another pool user touches them!!

SnuggyBuggy · 29/10/2018 09:30

Surely if you wanted to do lane swimming on holiday youd pick a more adult health spa type place. Obviously a family resort is going to be full of annoying kids and inflatables.

ballseditupforever · 29/10/2018 09:35

Your being unreasonable. There is always some cf when on holiday that wants to use your stuff and not buy their own. It's stressful keeping an eye on it as in my experience stuff seems to just walk off with the person that "borrowed" it.

Totally different if you have been chatting with another family and invited them to use your things (which I do often) but no, my children don't have to share their stuff with random kids because their parents are too tight to buy their own. Not communal.

If they are just leaving stuff floating around unattended though there is nothing wrong with putting it on the side.

ballseditupforever · 29/10/2018 09:42

Also, instead of giving each other death stares why on earth didn't you go over to the other family and apologise saying you thought they were communal and ask them where they bought them as you want to get one for your kids. If you had actually spoke to them they probably would have told you it's fine to borrow them. It's the entitled use without asking that pisses people off.

BarbarianMum · 29/10/2018 09:43

If people dont want to share their inflatables then thats fine but they shouldnt leave them floating unattended (and in people's way) in the pool.

FWIW lots of beaches (not all) in the Med are safe for inflatables due to the lack of tides.

WhiteDust · 29/10/2018 09:50

Were your DC 'sharing'  the other children's snorkels too?

Playing with each other's toys is a fair trade - Did your DC have anything of their own to share in exchange for the inflatables?

Buy your own stuff earlier in the holiday and your DC won't (feel the need to) use other people's stuff.

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 29/10/2018 10:00

OP - stop with this, and enjoy your holiday

God dayaaaaaaaaaaaaam

Boredisboring · 29/10/2018 10:02

Playing with each other's toys is a fair trade - Did your DC have anything of their own to share in exchange for the inflatables?

Agree with WhiteDust. In my experience, "sharing" usually involves one side giving and the other side taking.

GreenDinosaur · 29/10/2018 10:11

One of my childhood dreams was to own an inflatable crocodile 🐊.
I'd never been in an outdoor pool in my life, we went on camping holidays in England but I was desperate for one of those things!

Massive sympathy for bereaved inflatable whale poster. 

GreenDinosaur · 29/10/2018 10:12

💐

GreenDinosaur · 29/10/2018 10:12

(MN emojis not working)

weedoogie · 29/10/2018 10:13

@barbarianmum

The tides aren't the biggest problem with inflatables in the sea - it's the wind which blows them and the peope using them out to sea

PinkHeart5914 · 29/10/2018 10:14

Buy the poor dc some inflatables!

Lovemusic33 · 29/10/2018 10:16

Green I have a great photo of me aged about 13 sat on a inflatable crocodile holing a pen knife to its neck (pretending to wresstle it) 🤣🤣🤣, I was lucky to have one, also lucky to have a pool in our garden.

I think anyone that goes on holiday and doesn’t buy their kids some kind of inflatable is a bit mean, they are not expensive and are great fun. Maybe OP’s children are trying to take them because they don’t have anything to play with in the pool? The pool can be a bit boring with just a snorkel to play with.

BumsexAtTheBingo · 29/10/2018 10:20

So what is actually happening? The children are willingly sharing stuff and then their parents are taking it off your kids? If that happened once I’d tell my kids not to use them even if the other children said it was ok.
If you’ve been having to tell your kids ‘all morning’ not to touch then they have a problem with following instructions and you have a problem with discipline!
I always tell my kids to leave their inflatables with me when they aren’t using them. They float away and other kids assume they are communal or theirs if they have the same ones. It’s a pita and they always get lost.
Get your kids their own inflatables! And I’d recommend keeping them by your lounger when not in use or you WILL lose them.

noworklifebalance · 29/10/2018 10:20

I agree with PP - sharing maybe fine for a little while but what happens when the child(ren) who own the inflatables decide they want exclusive use and don't want to share anymore? TBH on holiday I don't think any parent wants to police the sharing between their own and another person's child especially when one side is not bringing anything to the table. You may find that once your kids have inflatables the other parents may be more receptive to sharing.

PunkrockerGirl59 · 29/10/2018 10:21

I agree with Hippy
Some people do want to actually swim in the, er, swimming pool which they've paid to use Hmm
If people/kids using the inflatables would just show a bit of awareness of others using the pool it wouldn't be so bad and everybody could enjoy it's use.
Most hotel pools aren't big enough to support the use of loads of inflatables though, especially when they're being used by loads of unsupervised kids.
Some adults are just as bad tbf and float around in their own little world, completely oblivious to the other pool-users.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/10/2018 10:22

we leave soon
Well everyone leaves soon from their holiday. It’s half term. Most of you are only going to be there for a week. You are choosing not to buy inflatables for your kids and expect other kids to share theirs. Dd (10) met a girl of the same age on holiday recently and the girl managed to burst 2 inflatables just through rough play. Inflatables don’t last long. YABU.

questionsneverstop · 29/10/2018 10:24

I would just go to the beach... it is much more fun and sand and inflatables are much more fun with a bit of waves
;)

flowery · 29/10/2018 10:24

”I would NEVER ask someone to share their pool inflatables with my children. Not sure why some people are insinuating this!”

Probably because you thought the other family were being “overly possessive” when they didn’t want to share...

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