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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Poolside etiquette

176 replies

PollyProsecco · 29/10/2018 07:31

On holiday, family near us being overly possessive with their inflatables. Our children have been told not to touch them by us, but being kids, they are obviously tempted to play with them. Especially when they are floating on the pool with no one else playing with them. Adults of family keep giving each other cross looks and now the inflatables have been placed far away from anyone’s reach. I just think this behaviour is odd - if it were the other way round, I’d happily let other children play with our stuff.
Interestingly, their children are quite happy to share their things and play with our children.
The situation now just creates an awkward atmosphere poolside. Who is being U?

OP posts:
TheClaws · 29/10/2018 08:08

They’re sharing snorkels? That’s a bit gross actually.

PiperPublickOccurrences · 29/10/2018 08:08

We lost an inflatable crocodile this way - let a child play with it in the pool while our kids were off doing something else, and it was never returned.

If you want your children to have access to pool inflatables, buy some. Do not expect to use other people's.

SnuggyBuggy · 29/10/2018 08:10

@Bianca that's awful, it's good to share but it's wrong to bully people into sharing.

And yes some people take better care of inflatables than others. I remember being kind and letting a boy play with my inflatable alligator and my DM having to take it off him as he was dragging it along the poolside.

Janleverton · 29/10/2018 08:10

Do not take inflatables into the sea for little children to play with. Really dangerous and the reason behind lots of lifeguard/RNLI call outs.

pinkdelight · 29/10/2018 08:13

YABU. It's not possible to be 'overly possessive' in this situation. They're possessive because the inflatables belong to them. That's all there is to it. I don't see what stepping in to stop them sharing snorkels has to do with it. That's a different scenario. Inflatables-wise, it's all off limits.

Feefeetrixabelle · 29/10/2018 08:13

Poolside etiquette is if it isn’t yours don’t play with it. They’ve removed them from your children’s reach to make it easier for you.

merrymouse · 29/10/2018 08:20

Do not take inflatables into the sea for little children to play with. Really dangerous and the reason behind lots of lifeguard/RNLI call outs.

Absolutely. Far too easy to float into danger.

Hippywannabe · 29/10/2018 08:21

To clarify, when I said, take inflatables into the sea only, that would be with the expectation that parents would take responsibility for their own children whilst using them!

Biancadelriosback · 29/10/2018 08:26

OP you seem a bit Hmm. If their children want to share their toys with yours then of course they can play with them. However once the children then finish, your children don't then have a right to continue using their possessions. If I invite you over for a BBQ in my garden, once the BBQ is over and I want to go to bed, you don't get to have free use of my garden or BBQ just because I am no longer using it.

BIWI · 29/10/2018 08:28

YABdefinitelyU. It's lovely that your DC are prepared to share their things, but that doesn't mean other children have to share theirs.

Why not go and pick up one of the other guests' towels and 'borrow' that, or pick up their book and have a go at reading it because you fancy it?

You say you're leaving 'soon' but what does that mean? Your DC are in the pool now! Go and buy them something of their own. When you leave you can be generous and donate them to some of the other children.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 29/10/2018 08:32

Surprised that I'm surprised at these comments.

Are you all really that petty about other kids in the pool wanting to touch your inflatable crocodile or whatever?

Chill out and have a cocktail would be my advice. As long as they weren't being rough with it or taking it out of the pool what's the problem?

We've always bought inflatables for the pool and been happy for children that were playing with our dc to use them.

Why wouldn't you?

Lovemusic33 · 29/10/2018 08:36

I think the advice is to use inflatables in a pool rather than the see Hmm ?

Just tell your kids not to touch other people’s things. Mine have never touched other people’s toys without asking.

Fluffyears · 29/10/2018 08:36

I hate parents who make other children share their belongings. Telling them not to be selfish and to learn to share..NO! Why should they share their own stuff, they wouldn’t make an adult share their things if they didn’t want to.

PiperPublickOccurrences · 29/10/2018 08:39

I hate inflatables in a pool. Take them into the sea

Super water safety advice there. Hmm

Holiday swimming pools aren't for ploughing up and down doing lengths. They're for splashing in and having fun. Some inflatables are massive, saw a woman on holiday recently with an armchair sized one which was about 8 foot across. But most aren't.

BIWI · 29/10/2018 08:39

I hadn't registered your initial sentence:

family near us being overly possessive with their inflatables.

NO! They are their possessions and it's absolutely their right to not allow other children to play with them! You are, in Mumsnet parlance, being very entitled here.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 29/10/2018 08:39

The OP's dc used them when they were floating around the pool with nobody using them Fluffyears. I cannot imagine being that highly strung about a bloody inflatable that I would fish it out of the pool and put it out of reach. I just can't.

Littlechocola · 29/10/2018 08:40

I would let your children share op. In fact my children wouldn’t need my prompting.
It makes you wonder what these children will turn in to.
Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

florriepeck · 29/10/2018 08:40

This thread has brought it all back for the owners of the ill fated inflatable whale and inflatable alligator.
Just when they thought they'd had closure.

Biancadelriosback · 29/10/2018 08:44

Greatduck yes but that's you. This family clearly do care. Perhaps this is the third replacement they've bought due to other people being rough with them. Perhaps one of the children saved their pocket money to buy one of these inflatables and so the parents are trying to teach their children to be responsible for their own belongings (eg if it gets broken you don't get another). Or maybe they just don't like other children playing with their things without their permission.

Original poster
PollyProsecco · 29/10/2018 08:46

Thanks all! Didn’t realise people felt so strongly. I would NEVER ask someone to share their pool inflatables with my children. Not sure why some people are insinuating this! The situation is solved now - we have bought our own but if a new child arrives without any stuff, I will happily let them have a turn. No need to exchange nasty glances with my husband!

OP posts:
SquirreledIn · 29/10/2018 08:46

Inflatables are completely unsuitable for use in the sea even with supervision as the RNLI have stated. Even children who were supervised have been swept out. It can happen so quickly and so insidiously.

Original poster
PollyProsecco · 29/10/2018 08:48

P.s am now enjoying a coconut! Thanks for all your replies and advice. Happy to stop the thread now! 🏝

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 29/10/2018 08:48

@greatduckcookery the family own the inflatables and don’t have to give them out to all and sundry whether their kids are finished using them or not. They could get damaged which is a pain as the kids want another one or people just take them and say they belong to them. They own the inflatables, they say what happens.

KumquatQuince · 29/10/2018 08:48

Is this for real? Is it a reverse? Hands off their stuff! Buy your own.

MakeAHouseAHome · 29/10/2018 08:48

You are certainly the one being unreasonable here... they don't belong to you or your children so of course they will put them put of reach if your children keep trying to touch/use them.

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