To be upset that my friend just cheated on her husband while he is in hospital?

[milkchocolateStarryStarryNight]

I so do not know how to handle this one.
My friend just told me she met up with her ex boyfriend from long ago last night, she took him home (her dc at grandmas), they spent the night having sex, more than once, and it was so great.

Her husband is in hospital for the last two weeks with heartproblem.

By my friends own admission she will not have sex with her ex boyfriend again as husband is due out from hospital on monday, so the possibility will not lend itself.

FFS! She has been married 7 years, as a 3 your old, and she just told me she has cheated and shows no remorse? Ok, she and her dh had an open relationship before they got married and had kids, but even so?

What am I to think about this? Shall I just ignore it, or ?

You've only known her since Christmas. I would guess that she has an open marriage with her dh and as she has spoken of such things before with you, that you wouldn't be offended by her behaviour. Maybe her dh isn't up to sex atm(or in the past few months) and this is their way of dealing with it. NOT my idea of fun but different strokes and all that.

I would be slightly concerned about her ds being confused and upset but otherwise I would just let the friendship cool for a while.
You could of course ask her how her dh feels about it......

then attack her for the things you dont like. if you think shes a disrespectful, hurtful irrespnsible bitch, call her that. calling her a slag just makes you a disrespectful, hurtful irrespnsible bitch.

does she know you post here? Maybe she's just messing with your head to see what you'll post? Sort of a troll by proxy?

that would be fkin hilarious!

I agree with Custardo, Carmenere and TranquilManana.

i wish i had some advice. if it were my friend (actually mine are dropping like flies atm) i would cut her out of my life. sounds harsh but theres no way i would want to be involved with her and her shenanigans.

TM- why is so 'disrespectful' of me to call someone who behaves like a slag, a slag??

Im sorry if we see this differently- surely im entitled to my own opinion on this?

define slag for me please?

because afaik, it is the word or of a group of words (ho, slut, slosher, whore) which is always thrown at women whenever they do anything deemed 'wrong' be it, smile at the wrong boys on the bus or sleep with a football team.
its purely sexual condemnation but used to insult all sorts of behaviours.
itsused in a 'lowest of the low' way, which to my mnd, is ignorant and (that word which means nasty and sexist??). esp given that having sex is just having sx, whereas, for eg killing people should be considered quite a bit more disgusting.

god i wish i were eloquent and able to express mysef better!!! agh, need to switch my brain on more often...

and of course you are allowed your opinion. so long as we all know mine is right and yours i wrong

Can of worms, this. Sorry.

Bananabump, maybe you are right, maybe she is rubbing my nose in it. should have thougth of that.

Bear in mind, again I am shocked, but I am not judging her, my problem is my own reaction to it. I dont know how to handle it, or her. Seeing as our friendship history is rather colourful, I might be better off just ignoring her. Like she just texted me that she is off to hospital with fathersday present, and she HAS changed the sheets..

She knows I post here, she is at a different parenting forum, she does not know my id here. Would be funny if she was trolling, ha ha, she really IS messing with my head!

milk cho, jus for the record, i ont thin you ar judging. it is the use of the word 'slag' i have taken exception to. i know its a complete tangent from your thread, and apologise for that, but i rally dont like to see that sort of thing and not say how i feel about it.

TM- I apoligise if I offended you with the word.

Silly her on all kinds of grounds never mind telling you which wasn't very sensible either. The statistics for people cheating are horrendous. Just forget about it. It's her business, not yours.

Lots of issues in that - woman as either virginal madonna or whore etc Also I suppose they had an open relationship how would you know if that had changed?

She must surely know that her 3 year old is going to say something. My ds is a shade younger, and I know that when Daddy got home from hospital, he'd have the low-down before his feet got through the door.

Not on my moral radar either. Up to you whether you continue the friendship - I'd have a pretty hard time maintaining a relationship with a person like this (though of course I know nothing about the other aspects of her character).

sounds to me like half the fun is telling you about it... she's seriously weird, i think. let her get on with it, don't give her any attention, i think that's actually what she wants tbh. like a naughty girl... [yawn]

Well, it's up to you how much you let her behaviour bother you. I think she's trying to provoke a reaction in you (look at all the fun I'm having, could have been you) or at least recruit you as a partner in crime (it's not so bad if someone knows and laughs about it)

It's her marriage, she's old enough to know the risks, if it's been open in the past then her husband may not mind that she gets her jollies with other people, but he may mind a lot that a) it was her ex b) it was while he was in hospital and c) that his child has been involved.

Sometimes being in an open relationship can lead to blurring of the boundaries, and a need to keep flirting to feel sexy. It sounds to me like she's addicted to the rush of having someone attracted to her, whether it be the chemistry with someone new or the excitement of hooking up with the ex for some tried and tested fun. (There's something particularly thrilling about sex with someone you shouldn't even be talking to)

And it IS all for attention, which is a bit tragic really. You'd think having a child would sober most silly types like that up and make them realise they have too much to lose.

tiredemma - thanks

desiderata -yeah, watch it or else!

Just remember Karma- she will reap what she sows. It is very comforting to repeat that to myself sometimes, I find LOL

When I was having DS1 a fellow patient was having a c section for severe Pre-eclampsia. My BIL worked with her OH and apaprently, whilst she was ill and under the knife, he was bedding a 14 year old then boasting about it!

fast foward 3 years later, her pic in the paper amrrying some bloke that I know to be wonderful and a great find.

Karma Is a Wonderful Thing

Agree that women should NOT be calling other women "slags", that in itself is pretty dire..

It is really up to her what she does, karma does have a way of sneaking up on people and biting them on the butt..
she probably shouldnt be boasting but as her friend please try not to judge, we all make mistakes, i know i do.

OMG . Just read the OP and skimmed thread. I really don't know what to say.

Has anyone thought that maybe she might be reacting to the stress of her hubby been ill?

Onbviously its a bizarre way to react and not one I would condone in a second, but people are very irrational at times when under stress, pressure?????