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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is BU? re wedding guests

362 replies

biser · 24/10/2018 12:04

Wedding in country house hotel. Naice but not amazingly so.

How much would you, as a guest, be prepared to pay for a double room inc breakfast before you start to suspect "woah, I'm being ripped off to subsidise their costs".

OP posts:
Optimist1 · 24/10/2018 12:06

Personally I'd pay anything up to the standard room rate for the hotel on that night of the week. Definitely not more than that.

MatildaTheCat · 24/10/2018 12:07

Well it depends on many factors.

Is there any alternative?
How much do I want to be there?
Time of year and day of week?
Am I being pressured into staying?

That said, for family or close friends I suppose up to £250/300 though if it wasn’t extremely nice I’d be a bit fed up.

ScouseQueen · 24/10/2018 12:08

Hard to give a specific price but I'd definitely be looking at other nearby hotels that were taxi-able. Or I'd consider being the designated driver.

spotsoddsocks · 24/10/2018 12:08

Id pay up to £50, if it cost more I'd just see if there was anywhere near by cheaper.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 24/10/2018 12:08

Is this one of those deals where the bride and groom rent out the whole country house and then sell rooms back to the guest? I'd say not more than 90 for a double room with breakfast to be honest.

Lulette · 24/10/2018 12:09

I reckon £150ish tops, depending on where in the country it was.

TokyoSushi · 24/10/2018 12:09

Depends where in the country, if not South East/near a City then around £100

IdaDown · 24/10/2018 12:09

I have a look at the hotel’s normal room rate, then compare to other places locally and add on cost of taxis to and from venue.

Teacherlikemisstrunchball · 24/10/2018 12:10

Certainly no more than the normal weekend rate at the hotel!

Plexie · 24/10/2018 12:10

£150? Don't know how much country house hotels cost normally. More than that and I would think it expensive but probably too naive to think I was subsidising their costs.

spotsoddsocks · 24/10/2018 12:10

But like a previous poster said it depends on who's wedding it was, best friend or close family I would probably pay more, if it was a family member I don't really speak to then maybe even nothing and just drive home or not attend.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 24/10/2018 12:11

Can you look at the hotel on a price comparison site to give you an idea of how much the prices would normally be? Either that or call the hotel and ask their prices for a date in the same month on the same day?

britnay · 24/10/2018 12:11

£180 for a double room including breakfast for two.

OliviaStabler · 24/10/2018 12:11

Usually I find this type of hotel too expensive so I stay nearby and arrange taxis.

Monty27 · 24/10/2018 12:12

It would depend on many things.
Firstly how close I am to the bride and groom.
Secondly can I actually afford it.

happypoobum · 24/10/2018 12:12

Agree with PP - I would check out the normal room rate and wouldn't pay above that. If it was too steep, I would see if a taxi to and from a local budget hotel would work out cheaper.

PiperPublickOccurrences · 24/10/2018 12:12

Exactly, you check what the room rate is and expect to pay that. Or a little less if the wedding party has made a block booking.

LL83 · 24/10/2018 12:12

I would pay whatever the price is. If the price was too much I would look into hotel, or taxi cost. If that was too much I would ask family for a lift or drive. Would never expect bride and groom to subsidise.

If I was the bride and really wanted a member of family in the hotel (Mum or sister) and I knew they would never afford it I might book it for them. Would not be happy if they assumed/expected me to though.

housewifeoflittleitaly · 24/10/2018 12:13

£150 would be standard, much lower & i wouldn’t expect much for the money.

RNBrie · 24/10/2018 12:15

It would depend. If I was being told that I had to book a room or not come then I'd be annoyed regardless of the cost.

If I was told that rooms were available for booking if we wanted to then I'd pay up to around £150 a night before looking for cheaper alternatives.

Original poster
biser · 24/10/2018 12:15

Hotel is quite clever. Their tariff is for weekdays only. Rooms at the weekend are set aside for wedding guests so there is no normal w/e rate to compare to.

OP posts:
aaaaargghhhhelpme · 24/10/2018 12:17

Then I’d compare similar nearby hotels and factor in a taxi. How much more than the weekday rate is it?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 24/10/2018 12:17

£150 for two people/ 2 breakfasts and 1 double room.

Doesnt mean i would be happy to pay it, I loathe having to pay for accommodation to attend anyone's wedding.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 24/10/2018 12:17

Hotel is quite clever. Their tariff is for weekdays only. Rooms at the weekend are set aside for wedding guests so there is no normal w/e rate to compare to

Ah that's pretty devious, are there any other hotels nearby that you could get a rough rate idea from? I think anything more than 150 for a double room and breakfast would be a rip off.

fanfan18 · 24/10/2018 12:18

My guests are paying £89 - £125 each depending on the room type they picked. Its an old mansion house. We have exclusive use of the whole venue but no obligation to fill rooms. Some are staying there and some are staying at the travel lodge down the road.

This is in SE, about 20 miles west of London.