My partner keeps waking the whole house.

[ThaiRedCurry]

This is one very sleepy house. I have a 5 month old who is a terrible sleeper, a toddler who thinks 5am is a reasonable time to get up in the morning and my partner who is in the police works shifts.
When he is on a late he finishes at around 1am. He comes in the front door and then slams it behind him. Turns on the landing light and the hall and then I hear him in the kitchen. Opening the microwave, reheating tea, slamming microwave door and then pulling out the kitchen chair. Once that's done he comes up the stairs and switches on the bathroom light. Leaves the door open, has a shower uses the toilet and flushes it. Then if this isn't already enough he dumps bag in the babies room (we only have a 3 bed so lots of storage in a wardrobe in babies room) and often even turns on the light in there for good measure. I try not to get pissed off but by this point we are all awake and I then have to get up and settle everyone and try get back to sleep myself.
Should I stop grumbling or is there a way I can approach this subject with him.
I'm so sleep deprived

Kill him

Selfish prick.

Bring it up calmly. Make him understand how noisy he’s being. Maybe set a reminder on his phone for the end of the next shift saying “come in quietly”.

What the actual fuck ??? I'd go nuclear on the selfish git !

I agree with dragon

That sounds ridiculous - why haven't you already broached it with him?

Does he then get into bed and try to sleep? While you're up and sorting the kids out? How about telling him that if he wakes them when he comes in it's his job to settle them again before he comes to bed?

Try not to get pissed off? I’d be absolutely livid! My DH goes out to work while we’re still in bed and is as quiet as possible so he doesn’t wake me and DD. Unfortunately he still does sometimes but he tries his best.
Of what you’ve described there’s nothing in there that he needs to do or couldn’t change to be quieter.

What?! Yanbu! Tell him to be bloody quiet and why the actual fuck is he going in the baby's room??! Knock this one on the head asap op, it's ridiculous.

have you raised it with him?
if not why not?

Have you asked him to be quieter?

No, no, no!

I’d be livid!

You need to talk to him calmly and explain the problem.

God I am so lucky to be such a sound sleeper but also with a husband who regularly comes home late with work/sports etc and wouldn’t dream of waking us up.

He needs to sort it out.

How long has this been happening? Id have had words with him after the first night. That is very inconsiderate!

"Bring this up with him"?!?! Why aren't you getting up and telling him to be bloody quiet?

I tell my mate who's a copper not to even text me when he's on lates and nights - I'd murder him if he was my husband and he did that when he got home from work.

I think YABU as obviously the house is the sound proofed very well. The one thing he could avoid doing is going into babies room and switching the lights on.

That's insane OP, why haven't you said anything?

He has a very stressful job and last thing he needs is me barking at him at 1am. I'm going to speak to him this morning. I honestly don't even think he knows that he's so loud!

I try not to get pissed off
Why? Seriously, why? Are you scared of him because that is the only reason I can think of that would explain why you haven't immediately pulled him up on this. First time of doing this I'd have been out of bed asking him what the fuck he thought he was playing at and telling him to quieten down before he wakes the house. Next day I would have had a proper discussion about how he needed to be quiet in the future. Can't believe you are letting him wake the baby up every time he comes in from work. Stop being a bloody martyr

Most defiantly not scared of him 🤣 sorry but that's made my day.
I try to live in a relationship where we are both happy and at 1:30am I'm not prepared to have a discussion or bark at him about being bloody quiet!

I’d be inviting the toddler to jump on his head at a quarter to five the same morning.

Preferably with a full nappy.

Must be hard to live with such a thoughtless and unapproachable man.

@Urbanbeetler excellent idea!

He must know that he is doing it though. Any normal, sober person can hear themselves crashing around in the dead of night. And he would know he was doing it because youre up trying to settle the baby because he's woken him. What a selfish prick

@XiCi wow. I refuse to acknowledge your comments anymore.

Sometimes to have to lose your shit.

My husband is a police officer and manages to come in without waking our 6 month old and me. Whether he has a stressful job or not isn't the point.

You absolutely do need to have a strong word. Or when he is on nights, return the favour and see how he likes it!