I’m feeling really annoyed at the moment.
Me and my husband have two children, the oldest being 4.5 years old.
My husband is a teacher and so gets plenty of holidays throughout the year.
We take two family holidays a year where we go abroad: a fortnight away over Easter and another fortnight away during the Summer.
On another two occasions a year, because my husband has the time off, he and our eldest son go abroad together, just somewhere cheep and cheerful and it’s usually during the February and October half terms. This arrangement has been going on for two years now and although I found it hard the first time they went away it’s become our norm now and they both love having that quality time together. They have a fantastic relationship.
They are due to go on their October half term holiday next week where they are going to Malta for five days and our son is obviously very excited about going!!
What I’m getting really frustrated with is the judgemental comments and facial expressions from colleagues (and some acquaintances) about the fact DH and DS go away without me. I am constantly told that they “could never do it,” and how they “could never be away from their children,” and a whole heap of other sly comments. The looks they give me sometimes when I make reference to DH’s and DS’s trips away together make me feel awful. It’s like they are thinking I’m a neglectful mum and they are clearly judging me for the fact that I can be away from my son. I’m finding it increasingly difficult.
I’m nearly at the point of asking my husband not to go next week, not because I don’t want them to go, but because I can’t cope with the judgements on me anymore.
I know deep down that I won’t ask them to cancel this one as our eldest is so looking forward to going on his “Boys holiday” (as they call it) but I’m thinking of asking my husband to stop taking him away from now on.
My husband tells me not to let other people upset me but I said it’s easy for him because he gets the accolade of being such a “brilliant dad” because he takes his son on a trip away whereas I’m the shit mum because I don’t mind them going.
I have women tell me that they’d never let their husband take the children away from them. I asked them if they’d be so horrified if a mother took her child away for a week with the dad staying at home because of work and they just shrug. They tell me it’s different for women because the children “need to be with us” and they can’t understand how I can be okay with my son not being home with me.
I’m just so fed up of being made to feel like crap.
They have me doubting myself. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I am a crap mum because I am happy for them to go away and have their quality time together. I don’t know anymore.
I’m reeling after a conversation I’ve just had with my brother’s wife who said she really couldn’t understand how I can cope when my son is in another Country and she knows she’d never be able to be away from her child.
It just leaves me feeling so shitty about myself. Needless to say I love my son but I don’t understand what is so bad about him and my husband having a short trip away together? Why does it make me a bad mother? I don’t get it.
I’m just feeling very down about it 