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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how many of you actually dress up nicely in bed

215 replies

Cringing123 · 22/10/2018 21:12

When you are having sex with your partner?

I’m doing an informal survey on behalf of my twat of a husband who told me that the attached pyjama bottoms are not sexy enough bedtime attire for me to wear for when I get in to bed, on the off chance that we may have sex (we are ttc so that’s happening more regularly than normal at the moment)

Am I unreasonable to wear something like this before bed or even god forbid, TO bed, when i know intercourse is on the cards?

to ask how many of you actually dress up nicely in bed
OP posts:
RoboticSealpup · 23/10/2018 11:16

DH doesn't give a shit what I wear in bed when we are abut to have sex. He just takes it off. Nice undies are completely wasted on him...

Elasticity · 23/10/2018 11:54

Always nice to treat your DP on occasion to some sexy underwear/outfits.

How about you talk to him further about it and come to a compromise that you might occasionally surprise him with something sexy.

fantasmasgoria1 · 23/10/2018 12:01

I wear long leg, long sleeve pyjamas. I asked my fiancé if he would like it if I dressed up and he said what's the point, it all comes off straight away and I prefer sex naked! I'm glad because although I wear nice bras and pants I'm not keen on stockings, suspenders etc I much prefer my pyjamas!

KarmaStar · 23/10/2018 12:10

I've only ever worn satin slip nighties ,even in the winter.I do own a pair of pyjamas bought for me as a gift which are great if I am unwell.I wear the nighties because they are light,comfortable and pretty and I wear them for me.

Screaminginsidemeagain · 23/10/2018 12:26

Two sides to this
No generally Neither of us make an effort in dressing for bed. Naked is sexy.

TTC can suck the fun out of sex, it makes it a chore and maybe, just maybe he’s asking for it not to be. It’s a hamfisted approach guaranteed to get most women’s backs up and it makes him sound like a cockwomble.

OutPinked · 23/10/2018 12:29

Does he dress up? Does he have a nice lacy thong to appease you? Or is he just lying there in his dodgy old boxer shorts expecting you to be done up to the nines? He sounds like an arse.

ElfID · 23/10/2018 12:29

Buy him a novelty flamingo thong, then make him do a little dance for you to put you in the mood.

Asshole.

florafawna · 23/10/2018 12:37

You want that baby? Wink

CookPassBabtridge · 23/10/2018 12:45

DhiWrites Until I came on mumsnet, I thought all adults wore pyjamas  Can't imagine being naked for sleeping. Different experiences and all that.

PlinkPlink · 23/10/2018 12:47

Sounds to me like he's not enjoying the pressure of ttc sex.
The pyjamas are a convenient thing for him to transfer his frustrations on to.

More pressure, less likely to get hard or at least take longer to get hard.

If it's not that, he's being an arse. Your OH should find you sexy no matter what you're wearing. It really doesn't matter. The sexy bit is supposed to be what's underneath I.e. you. Not what you're wearing. I'd be a bit insulted tbh.

Those pyjamas look properly comfy btw. Ideal for Autumn 😃😃

Justmuddlingalong · 23/10/2018 13:04

Perhaps he, and you to a certain extent, now see sex as ttc, rather than sex as a fun, bringing you closer type of activity.

Fashionista101 · 23/10/2018 13:34

This made me giggle. I kind of agree with him but then understand the cosyness!

How about some legging pjs bottoms? My DH can resist them and they are still really comfy :)

Jux · 23/10/2018 19:10

I wear a nightie. Well, that's how I think of it, though it's actually a very very large t-shirt. I've never been comfortable in pyjamas.

riotlady · 23/10/2018 19:18

I mostly wear leggings and scruffy Disney T-shirts from primark, although admittedly DP is quite a fan of my bum in leggings.

Bluntness100 · 23/10/2018 19:23

Until I came on mumsnet, I thought all adults wore pyjamas

Until I came on mumsnet I thought no adult did. Not to actually sleep in. 😳

We have no pyjamas in this house. My daughter has none, my husband has none, I have none. My daughter sleeps like me, in thin loose shorts and a cami or a vest and knickers. My husband naked or in boxers.

I have a dressing gown, I can't recall ever wearing it. My husband and daughter don't have dressing gowns.

There is a whole nightwear thing that's passed us by.🤣

Gwenhwyfar · 23/10/2018 19:34

"I though folks stopped wearing actual real live pyjamas to bed when they hit puberty, confused"

I wear PJs plus a hooded jacket plus bed socks 90% of the year.
In heat waves I wear a nightshirt.
I don't understand all the suggestions to wear a cami top or a vest top and shorts. If she usually wears PJs she'll be too cold in these.

AlphaBravo · 23/10/2018 19:35

I'm with you @Bluntness100... naked/knickers or camis only! And only then camis in winter!

Celebelly · 23/10/2018 19:37

I'm really tickled that some people don't think pyjamas, literally designed to be worn to bed, are ever worn to bed Grin

Gwenhwyfar · 23/10/2018 19:39

"A cami set in silk is a good bet - feels comfy looks sexy to a horny bloke - win win !"

Not a win for OP is it, she'll be cold.

nonevernotever · 23/10/2018 19:43

I'm with Contesa and Fermats Theorem here - every partner I've ever slept with hasn't given a stuff about anything other than parting me from my clothes.

Sparrowlegs248 · 23/10/2018 19:50

This thread is hilarious.

Tbh, I'm with your husband on this. I don't think you should be going full on sexy but maybe just some nicer bedwear?

Rigamorph · 23/10/2018 19:55

If he asked nicely for you to wear something sexy for TTC then it's not unreasonable to consider his request (not much conception will happen in those PJs without modifications!).
As part of your survey however FWIW DP and I sleep naked in summer and wear thick PJs in Winter (even a onesie when the boiler broke). We have an old stone house so it's for practical temperature reasons!
My DP never been into outfits and the like, considers himself lucky just to have access to the nude female form I suppose Grin

Bluntness100 · 23/10/2018 20:00

I wear PJs plus a hooded jacket plus bed socks 90% of the year

Is your bedroom cold or your bed coverings thin? I can't think why you need to basically need to wear a coat to bed otherwise?

Jolonglegs · 23/10/2018 20:04

I agree with Nottalotta: this thread is hilarious. I don't think I would like my DP telling me what I should or shouldn't wear to bed, just like I don't tell him. Is he having problems getting in the mood: does he not fancy you any more? I don't think DP cares what I wear as it soon comes off when we have sex. And if he's not in the mood and I am, then a bit of handy work soon has an effect. Maybe I'm lucky.
I've always worn a strappy cotton nightie and knicks unless its really cold, and then I wear PJ's. When DP is away for the night, I sometimes where his PJ's as I like to feel close to him.

biscuittime · 23/10/2018 20:15

I come home and change in to grey slobby tracksuits and an old top, before I get into bed I change into a slip nightie, but this is for me, as I prefer to sleep naked, but with children in the bed it’s better to be dressed.

I personally like to make an effort for my husband but that’s because I love him, and I know he loves me looking like a slob or dressed up. But as much as I love him, I also prefer if he makes an effort, especially for sex, like shave or shower, but I would take him however he is.