to ask how many of you actually dress up nicely in bed

[Cringing123]

When you are having sex with your partner?

I’m doing an informal survey on behalf of my twat of a husband who told me that the attached pyjama bottoms are not sexy enough bedtime attire for me to wear for when I get in to bed, on the off chance that we may have sex (we are ttc so that’s happening more regularly than normal at the moment)

Am I unreasonable to wear something like this before bed or even god forbid, TO bed, when i know intercourse is on the cards?

I feel he’s right and this is an excellent chance for you to both make an effort. You will happily wear skimpy sexy underwear to entice your hunter gatherer man however in order for him to acquire entry to the tunnel of love he must also make the effort. Coming to bed in nothing less than a fresh back sack and crack wax safely enclosed in the skimpiest of gold lame budgie smugglers would result in a no.

But on a serious note tell him if he likes ladies underwear that much he’s free to wear it.

To be fair I am slightly on his side here. While you can of course wear whatever you want, I wouldn't feel especially aroused if my husband came to bed in old jogging bottoms or whatever the male equivalent would be.

I wear my fleece jammies and stuff around the house but I wouldn't wear them to bed - mainly because I'd get far too hot!

TTC is so shit. I hated it. Dh felt both under pressure to perform and entitled to sex show of sorts because of 'the pressure'. He was worried he wouldnt be able to seal the deal because I 'needed' him to to make a baby. I took to pretending I didnt want sex, whilst lounging around in something I knew he found sexy. Or 'accidentally' forgetting to close the bathroom door when having a bath. I'd have to slip in to the conversation that It wasnt my fertile time, or just pretend Id ovulated the week before so that he could think he was getting his leg over for his pleasure only. In reality, I was fertile and or ovulating and lying through my teeth. That way, he could perform without pressure. I'd do and say all of the things I know guarentee a, erm, quick result. I hated it. It had no baring on how badly my dh wanted to be a father, or how brilliant a dad he turned out to be. I think men just struggle to reconcile sex with making a baby. Good luck

Dress in horrible slobs at home and in bed but when TTC was dragging DH to the bedroom trussed up like a slutty chicken in all sorts of lingerie and bits and bobs (me, not DH 😂)

Incidentally, last night I went to bed in knickers and a t-shirt. We had sex, so I removed them, but it went on a while and I got cold so put the t-shirt back on

Some comments are so bitchy 🤦‍♀️

Don’t have a baby with him.
Leave this man, he’s a prick.

I feel sorry for the husbands, who have to deal with a partner so up tight they can’t have an opinion on some pyjamas ffs

Spent £ 75 at the weekend on nightwear. 2 nighties your Nan would be proud of and a big button up long sleeved nightshirt .
I'm sure my oh would still appreciate what's going on underneath them or he could fuck off if he dared to comment.

Sorry OP but absolutely no way would I wear them to bed with my DP. I wear stuff like that for loungewear around the house when DP is not staying over ( we don't live together yet ) I maybe a clothes snob but unless I'm dying & cant get up & need to be rescued unannounced by said DP no way would I let him see my scruffy lounge stuff  He would only be seeing me dressed like this if I fell down the stairs & couldn't get up! I wear boy shorts & vest tops to bed, nothing too fancy but girly & pretty ( think Boux Avenue stuff )

I don't think you have to be trussed up in red satin for him, but those PJ bottoms look like something I owned in 1998. I expect my DH to wear something vaguely respectable to bed, whether I'm in the mood or not, and I try to look reasonable - it's not really about DTD.

Could you not compromise with some black jersey bottoms and matching top? He's the one that has to perform...maybe meet him halfway. When you have the baby, you get to wear whatever the hell you like though

Pfft! I never dress to impress at bedtime and nor does my DH, he doesn't give a toss what I wear to bed because if any hanky panky is going to happen then it all comes off again anyway.

Does your DH think that women should choose what they wear to bed based purely on what might arouse their spouse? What about actual comfort? What is your DH wearing to be more alluring for you then?

Sorry to disappoint your DH but in our house it's all comfy (sometimes mismatched) pyjamas, bed socks and a sports bra beneath to stop my boobs roaming about. My DH has a similar bedtime uniform minus the bra and socks.

If he can’t get an erection it’s more likely to be his porn habit to blame than your PJs.

Haven RTFT, but if my DH said that to me I’d go to bed with my jeans on.

I don’t see that sort of bedwear as very conducive to sex. I only wear anything to bed when I’m away and sharing a room with a friend and I’d think PJs like those would be perfect, so I suppose I sort of see his point in some ways.

What does he think you should wear? Because if it’s soemthing that would be impractical/uncomfortable for everyday wear but he still wants to be “spontaneous” then I agree with he idea that he’s being very entitled. He wants you to be turning him on every night and he gets to decide if he’s up for it or not - that’s certainly entitled and unreasonable. If he would just like something that looks less like his mom would wear, then he maybe has a point.

I'm sure I read somewhere that
A) women more likely to orgasm if wearing socks
B) orgasming is good when ttc

So maybe swap the pjs for socks?

To be fair I don't think she said he suffered from Ed. I'm not sure why some folks are going there.

But good on you for mocking him for it. Good for you.

I find that if I wear pyjamas during intercourse it makes it really quite difficult to actually get the cock in

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This thread usnt really about fleecy pjs. The op and her dh are struggling with the pressures of ttc. Op some people are being mean here. Ttc is crap. It is an emotional rollercoaster of shitness. I've been there and overcome the shitness. Sex goes back to normal once you have conceived. Then you have a baby and, trust me, he will not care what you wear!

He should be attracted to you not your clothes

I love nice lingerie and wear it every day. DH couldn't be less interested and no previous partner cared either. Men like you naked for sexy time and otherwise comfortably attired without looking like a bag lady IME. Treat yourself to some new pyjamas and tell him to lose the ancient boxers, which sound grim.

Just asked my DH for his opinion on this. He says that 'sexy nightwear' is a contradiction in terms.

He suspects that we have all been tricked into buying items whose only purpose is to signal that we are willing to take it off!

Slight sidebar: is it a normal thing to have clothing/underwear that you feel sexy in? I don't think I've ever felt like that, ever. I suppose it's a saving on clothes (might as well be naked, since it's free) but still....

Make your move before you’ve got ready for bed. Then if sex happens you can put your pjs on afterwards. And if it doesn’t then just go get ready for bed without feeling your naked self has been rejected!

(FWIW I see your DP’s point. If you’re TTC, naff pj’s are like underlining the point that you don’t actually feel sexy, you just want a baby. Loads of people struggle to get in the mood when TTC. He’s not necessarily being a nobhead about this.)

I sleep naked. I wear PJs like that before bed all the time.

I wouldn't be TTC with a man who moaned about what I wore to bed, especially when he himself wore some decade old pair of boxers and then blamed me for his lack of erection. . I sleep naked but any man who made comments about how I chose to sleep was soon as ex.

I don't think my DP would even notice what I was wearing if we were going to be having sex! As long as it gets removed in a timely fashion