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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask how many of you actually dress up nicely in bed

215 replies

Cringing123 · 22/10/2018 21:12

When you are having sex with your partner?

I’m doing an informal survey on behalf of my twat of a husband who told me that the attached pyjama bottoms are not sexy enough bedtime attire for me to wear for when I get in to bed, on the off chance that we may have sex (we are ttc so that’s happening more regularly than normal at the moment)

Am I unreasonable to wear something like this before bed or even god forbid, TO bed, when i know intercourse is on the cards?

to ask how many of you actually dress up nicely in bed
OP posts:
mostdays · 22/10/2018 21:24

About 50% of the time maybe? But that's because I like to. Not because DH asks me to.

LellyMcKelly · 22/10/2018 21:25

I wear fishnet stockings, a push up peephole bra, and crotchless knickers**

  • socks with foot balm in them ** an old vest * Batman shorts

He still thinks I’m God’s gift, the weirdo 😂

WingsofNylon · 22/10/2018 21:26

What is he wearing to bed to be sexy for you?!?

I would be massively turned off by such a twaty comment. The clothes come off surely?

limon · 22/10/2018 21:26

Jesus Christ. What is it with these men? I had an ex like that. Wear what you like, it's your body.

Cringing123 · 22/10/2018 21:26

Clearly I take them off just before “it” 😂 But what’s annoyed me is that if he’s finding it’s taking longer to get aroused - he thinks the pyjama bottoms I have been wearing all evening and what I wear when I’m getting ready for bed, are the problem! I didn’t think they were that horrific.

He wears black boxer shorts that he’s had for years. I make no such demands on what he wears, ever, to anything

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 22/10/2018 21:28

I’m currently sleeping naked but for a very sexy racer back sleeping bra. I’m pregnant, overheating and my boobs are massive.

When we were ttc I got into bed naked, dtd, then put on one of my several pairs of super soft but not very appealing pj bottoms, a vest top and a hoodie or a jumper. I was always freezing post shag. We’d have a cuddle then go to sleep.

Sometimes I’d get into bed dressed as above, then decide to dtd, unrobe, get on it, rerobe.

DH likes me to sleep naked as he always does. He also likes me to be warm and comfortable and fully embraces my many layered look.

I own sexy nightwear, I wear it when I want to. Not because he expects it or demands it and I’d never actually sleep in it.

Shambu · 22/10/2018 21:32

What is he wearing that is so wave-crashingly sexy? A mankini?

MsNowtyBach · 22/10/2018 21:33

Is your husband wearing his silky boxers?

Perhaps your husband should sleep elsewhere if he's that offended?

Shambu · 22/10/2018 21:34

Oh black boxers - meh. Tell him to sleep in a mankini.

pudding21 · 22/10/2018 21:34

I have a pair a bit like this, my FWB thinks they are very sexy as they are tight round the backside. The pjs are not your problem. You should wear whatever you feel comfy in!

MeteorMedow · 22/10/2018 21:34

We only have ‘glamorous sex’ on holiday/ when we’re away from home in a nice setting. In our own bed it’s all very comfortable and cosy- no sexy pants

penisbeakers · 22/10/2018 21:35

Tell him to fuck off back to 1950.

Stephisaur · 22/10/2018 21:35

Well I can’t sleep in PJs, so it’s a moot point for me 😂

However, DH got sexy underwear once while we were TTC and that ended up being a week after we conceived 😂

What is he wearing to bed to entice YOU?

Cringing123 · 22/10/2018 21:35

I can’t win with him.

While he wants us to conceive, he doesn’t want it to be organised sex : “let’s be spontaneous”. But if I get into bed with nothing on, I’m clearly planning to have sex. If we don’t end up having sex, then I put my bottoms and top back on like an idiot.
I don’t see why I can’t just get into bed with my pyjamas on and then if the “spontaneity” happens then i take them off at that point. He can’t even see them on me as they’re under the covers, so what is the problem with me wearing them

I hate ttc

OP posts:
CovenofMiLsfromHades · 22/10/2018 21:36

If you are ttc and hes having problems then I think you should probably wear something else.

Topseyt · 22/10/2018 21:37

I just wear well worn old night shirts. Must get some new ones.

I dress for comfort. The days whenen I gave a shit about what I wore to bed are long gone.

Rixera · 22/10/2018 21:38

I regularly do, but that's because I like it. 75% of the time I wear nice silk nighties etc, if we're going to DTD I'll wear nice lingerie, though I often do just for the sake of it, because it makes me happy.

The other 25% it's star wars PJs.

WingsofNylon · 22/10/2018 21:38

Jesus! Now he is blaming his lack of erection on them? I'm inclined to think he isn't actually interested in conceiving...

tabbycat1234 · 22/10/2018 21:38

I quite like "sexy attire" but neither DH nor any exboyfriends have ever been remotely interested in underwear. They just want you naked really in my experience.

Those look really comfy though I'd def wear to watch tv. They look quite warm I'd be sweating in bed in them. Do you need to keep your heating on a bit later 😊? 🤣

EdWinchester · 22/10/2018 21:38

Hmmm. Sexy they are not.

But surely everything just gets flung off, so I can’t see the issue.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 22/10/2018 21:38

TTC can be a bit of a passion killer because it can begin to feel like a chore, or too much pressure, but it's not fair to put the blame for that on you.

We tried for 8 years before our first child was born and never once in that time did Mr Carpet suggest that I wasn't sexy enough, or blame me for him feeling pressured. He's an idiot though, he thinks I'm irresistible in a boiler suit and wellies! (He also knows that what your husband has said to you would mean he'd be getting the cold shoulder for a very long time!).

VillanellesBrownWig · 22/10/2018 21:39

Ttc shouldn't be a chore. Your h is a dick. Fwiw I sleep in the buff, always have since 18, or there abouts.

Poppyinagreenfield · 22/10/2018 21:39

from our experience some women wear these style of pjs to go shopping in the local supermarket also

starrynitelight · 22/10/2018 21:39

They really really aren't sexy.
I'd wear them while lounging around before bed but then I'd be naked before I get into bed. I never wear anything to sleep though, whether I'm planning on DTD or not.

kaytee87 · 22/10/2018 21:41

Jesus! Now he is blaming his lack of erection on them? I'm inclined to think he isn't actually interested in conceiving...

^ this. I mean, I'm usually naked when having sex so why does it matter what you had on before?