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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend ghosted me and then suddenly appeared again 4 years later

444 replies

Dogmum94 · 22/10/2018 11:59

More of a WWYD really. We met in nursery and were childhood friends, our parents also became friends and would take turns doing school runs/childcare etc. Spent all the school holidays together and most nights after school we would take turns going to each others house. Remained friends through primary/junior/secondary school and all through college as well. After college we did drift apart a bit but still kept in contact and would text every few weeks or so. My parents are still very good friends with hers and see each other regularly.
Around 4 years ago, I went to message her and she had blocked my number, and also Facebook and all other social media. I mentioned it to my parents and hers but nobody really knew anything and she then moved abroad to go travelling with her boyfriend for a few years.
I got engaged earlier this year, and can only assume either her family or one of our mutual friends has mentioned it to her. The other day I woke up to a message on Facebook from her, she had unblocked me and added me as a friend, and scrolled all the way through my Facebook to find the engagement announcement (bare in mind that was a few months ago so quite a few things to scroll through). She commented on it saying how happy she was for me and she’s so pleased her childhood friend is getting married. She can’t wait to be there to celebrate on the big day and be my bridesmaid like we always used to talk about when we were younger Confused
She’s being a CF isn’t she? Hmm

OP posts:
Meralia · 25/10/2018 11:03

This is so bizarre! Hope you get an explanation.

cheesefield · 25/10/2018 11:16

No reply OP?

AfterSchoolWorry · 25/10/2018 11:23

Good for you OP.

Maybeitsjustmeor · 25/10/2018 11:34

I was ghosted by a friend who even lived in the same street as me. I wasn't cool enough apparently so one day he blocked me and pretended i wasnt there when we bump into eachother. This guy's now a complete loser with no friends at all. Was really strange and hurtful but people like that aren't worth it.

Jutz · 25/10/2018 11:44

I’d keep a copy of the message for if/when she pretends it’s all your fault. I’d print it and probably show it to your mum before strange friend gets there first with her twisted version

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 25/10/2018 12:14

Good message! Bet you end up blocked again though. But so what if you do - won't make any difference from the last 4 years, will it!!

YuhBasic · 25/10/2018 12:24

She’s unbelievable 😮

BumsexAtTheBingo · 25/10/2018 12:30

Not sure it it’s been mentioned but are you inviting her parents to the wedding? Will your parents be expecting you too.
I agree that it’s likely her parents don’t know that she ghosted you and we’re expecting her to be a big part of the wedding hence her message.

Pinkyyy · 25/10/2018 12:33

BumsexAtTheBingo if you RTFT the OP has explained the situation re the parents

toherdoor · 25/10/2018 12:59

Suspect she will either try to turn it on you now, or not reply. It sounds like she's coming home and doesn't want to be left out. She thinks she can pick up where she left off.

poobumwee · 25/10/2018 13:12

Good message. direct and to the point

Petalflowers · 25/10/2018 16:05

Any reply yet?

jadfiewahnds · 26/10/2018 20:38

Has the OP ghosted us?

HelloSnow · 26/10/2018 21:48

@jadfiewahnds 😂

crispysausagerolls · 27/10/2018 08:00

Perhaps the friend replied with quite a sensible reason why she did what she did and the OP is embarrassed to say?

BitOutOfPractice · 27/10/2018 08:13

I thought there was no such thing as "other inbox" any more

Dogmum94 · 27/10/2018 09:14

Sorry guys I’m still here. Nothing to report as she still hasn’t replied yet, but it does say she hasn’t been online since I sent it so still waiting

@BitOutOfPractice there is indeed, well on the messenger app anyway. There’s a ‘message requests’ section where messages go from people who aren’t friends with you

OP posts:
Dogmum94 · 27/10/2018 09:15

@BumsexAtTheBingo my parents think I should invite them but I don’t really want to as I see them as their friends and not mine

OP posts:
AfterSchoolWorry · 27/10/2018 09:32

I agree that it’s likely her parents don’t know that she ghosted you and we’re expecting her to be a big part of the wedding hence her message

That's definitely what's behind this. She doesn't want to lose face in front of her parents. I'd let them know.

See how she likes them apples.

OliviaStabler · 27/10/2018 09:50

Perhaps the friend replied with quite a sensible reason why she did what she did and the OP is embarrassed to say?

There couldn't be a sensible reason for blocking someone then reappearing after 4 years later acting like nothing happened.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 27/10/2018 09:56

Q

SpookymcSpookerson · 27/10/2018 11:01

I wonder about her mental health TBH.

I know someone who does this sort of thing and they are quite damaged

BitOutOfPractice · 27/10/2018 11:19

Yes. It hasn't been called "other messages" for several years.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/10/2018 11:23

I wouldn't. Invite her parents, why, they are not your friends. And their daughter treated you so shoddily.

SuperGekkoMuscles · 27/10/2018 11:34

Hasn’t thought about that, do her parents know what she’s done?