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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suddenly be scared to give birth now my contractions have started?

324 replies

ActiveBlend · 21/10/2018 20:08

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and have recently started having what I think are pre-labour contractions. They're a lot more painful than I thought they would be and I'm now dreading active labour. I've always weirdly looked forward to childbirth but now I'm starting to experience it, I feel a bit freaked.

Sorry for posting in AIBU. I know I'm not BU, but was wondering if anyone else experienced the same? A pre-labour freakout?

All of a sudden very scared about the pain and how I'll get through it...

OP posts:
Beautifulseren · 21/10/2018 20:11

You will be fine. Yes it hurts but remember your breathing and visualise yourself somewhere lovely if you can. I had a 17 hour active labour in hospital on gas an air and visualisation. You can do this, this is 24 hours of your life for a lifetime of love x

PoppySeedBun18 · 21/10/2018 20:12

I was in pre-labour for about 3 days...by the end I was just glad to get the baby out and kept asking when I could start pushing! It’s unpleasant but you’ll get through it. I would go through it all again.

Just think that you’ll be meeting your baby soon! How exciting!

FlippinNora1 · 21/10/2018 20:12

The most reassuring thing that I was told about labour was your pain has a purpose. Each contraction is a step closer to the birth of your baby. You can do it, you will do it and you will survive.
Breathe through it, ride the contractions and rest in between as much as possible.
Good luck xx

Original poster
ActiveBlend · 21/10/2018 20:13

Thanks both. I am SO excited. We don't know if it's a boy or girl so really can't wait to find out. I feel like that'll get me through the labour!

3 days of pre labour sounds awful @PoppySeedBun18 - I'm suffering after 24 hours!

OP posts:
CaptainBrickbeard · 21/10/2018 20:13

Oh yes, I felt the same. I reminded myself a lot of women have more than one baby so it must be worth it. It definitely is! Good luck!

AlphaBravo · 21/10/2018 20:13

You just get through it. They will peak at a level and not get any stronger after that. You then have to contend with keeping your strength up, as you will know how strong they are and that you can cope with them. Gas and Air saved me.

Have lucozade sport, full fat coke etc to hand too to keep your blood sugar levels up.

Don't be scared to ask for an epidural if you feel you need it. But ask early or you can't have it.

Remember, just when it feels like you're about to give up - you're probably in transition - and it is normally much easier after that.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 21/10/2018 20:14

Yes, it can be painful at times! My first birth took six hrs from waters going to baby being born and a very small % of that time was actually painful though. Have a look at hypnobirthing and the Positive Birth book. It’s not too late.

LuckyAmy1986 · 21/10/2018 20:14

To be honest contractions were so much more painful than I thought they would be And it caught m by surprise too. But once they get going you get into a bit of a rhythm. Not saying it’s not painful anymore of course but you start to breathe better and like pp said you can do this. It will be over and you will forget the pain b

gower4 · 21/10/2018 20:15

I actually found pre-labour worse than active labour. Active labour does hurt, but your body kind of takes control if you let it. It's hard to describe and easy to say, but try to go with it rather than resist. And keep breathing!!

Almostfifty · 21/10/2018 20:15

I agree with Nora.

I did it four times, and I'm a bit of a wimp about pain. Get walking about and take the gas and air.

Good luck. It'll be all worth it when you hold that baby.

Original poster
ActiveBlend · 21/10/2018 20:16

Thanks everyone.

Really good point about people doing it more than once!

@gower4 that's interesting, to find pre labour worse. I guess once you're in established labour you also know you're in your way!

OP posts:
MrsTommyBanks · 21/10/2018 20:17

Yep. I have a very vivid memory of being wheeled down to the delivery suite and telling my Mum, "I've changed my mind!" Utterly terrified.
My Mum and the midwife laughed and said, in perfect sync, "Its a bit late now!"
You'll be fine. Good luck and congratulations Flowers

Lana1234 · 21/10/2018 20:17

I had two days of pre labour and suddenly when I was ready to go to hospital I panicked about the pains and how I was going to cope. Just know the midwives have got you covered with what you need to get through be that gas and air or something stronger. I have a terribly low threshold for pain and I managed to get through it and have a gorgeous one year old baby boy as a result. Don’t panic and remember your breathing. Good luck OP, you’ll be meeting your little one in no time, excited for you ☺️Flowers

Original poster
ActiveBlend · 21/10/2018 20:20

🤪🤪🤪 it's actually happening!!

OP posts:
Bobbiepin · 21/10/2018 20:21

Every contraction is one less until you meet your baby. Agree with PP that this is pain with a purpose. Remember it won't last forever, and baby will be worth it. Good luck!

BrieAndChilli · 21/10/2018 20:22

With my 3rd I just sat on the bed telling DH I just couldn’t do it! I just completely freaked out and was sobbing that I couldn’t go through it again.
Just remember that once the baby is hear the pain just sort of fades away

SophieofShepherdsBush · 21/10/2018 20:23

Hmm. My advice would be to go with the pain and don't hold it in if you know what I mean! I was so afraid of the Unknown with my first that I'm sure I pretty much crossed my legs and held it in! I actually had strong involuntary urges to push and suppressed/ignored them, and ended up purple pushing when I felt no need, as I think the moment had passed as I held it back! Go with it. I had two more kids and relaxed into the pain and they were born much more easily! Don't tense up, breathe! Good luck!

Celestia26 · 21/10/2018 20:23

Good luck OP!!! Hope labour goes well!

deathisforever · 21/10/2018 20:23

You'll be fine. In all honesty, I found pre Labour contractions way worse than actually pushing.. everything up to my water breaking was just awful because the end wasn't in sight and I didn't know how long it was going to last, luckily, it was only 20 hours from start to finish! Hated that I had to do it all in the hospital on a shared ward though due to high blood pressure.

Congratulations and hope you get to meet your baby soon!

user1471426142 · 21/10/2018 20:23

If it helps i think it’s true that you forget. I always thought that was bollocks for a few months post birth but I genuinely can’t remember what it was like 2 years later (and I had a horrid 3 day labour). you’ll meet your baby soon and that is the best thing. Good luck!

CherryPavlova · 21/10/2018 20:24

Without wishing to be harsh.....it’s a bit late to be worrying now! Relax and hopefully all will go well.

ContraryToPopularBelief · 21/10/2018 20:24

Yeah I had a major 'wtf have I done' moment once I realised I was in labour. But... the 'pain with a purpose' mantra really is very useful.
Congratulations on your baby.

AliceRR · 21/10/2018 20:24

Good luck OP

I am 24 weeks. Always buried my head in the sand about childbirth but since getting pregnant don’t fear it as much as I just want to meet baby and for baby to arrive safely etc but I can imagine feeling as you do once it starts! All the best x

Original poster
ActiveBlend · 21/10/2018 20:25

@CherryPavlova not harsh. My mum said the same 🤣

OP posts:
Theweasleytwins · 21/10/2018 20:25

Just remember- with ever passing pain- women have special hormones to make you forget how painful labour is so after you will forget👍

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