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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suddenly be scared to give birth now my contractions have started?

324 replies

ActiveBlend · 21/10/2018 20:08

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and have recently started having what I think are pre-labour contractions. They're a lot more painful than I thought they would be and I'm now dreading active labour. I've always weirdly looked forward to childbirth but now I'm starting to experience it, I feel a bit freaked.

Sorry for posting in AIBU. I know I'm not BU, but was wondering if anyone else experienced the same? A pre-labour freakout?

All of a sudden very scared about the pain and how I'll get through it...

OP posts:
dingdongdigeridoo · 21/10/2018 20:27

I think the pre-labour is the worst bit in many ways. I felt so panicked and scared of what was coming, even with my second. But once I was in active labour my body just kind of took over. Plus, you have way more pain relief options at that point. Once the adrenaline and hormones kick in there’s no stopping you!

Soubriquet · 21/10/2018 20:28

You’ll be fine and you get to have lovely squishy newborn cuddles Halloween Envy...not jealous at all

I’ve had two babies and my first was 13 hours from start to finish.

I also remember that labour hurt yes...but I don’t actually remember the pain it self

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 21/10/2018 20:29

To give a different perspective on the whole you'll get through it thing...

For me it wasn't the pain it was the length of time it went on for. I found people with shorter labours tended to cope better - I think physically you cope better with pain when you're less tired and it's not as scary when you feel it's progressing and you can see an end in sight

If it doesn't go quick...go to the hospital. Tell them you're not coping and worried about running out of energy for the pushing stage. Refuse to leave and ask for pethidine. This will knock you out for a bit so you can rest

You can also get an epidural if it gets too much. Best thing I ever did.

In a few weeks this will all be a distant memory! Good luck

flowerpot1000000 · 21/10/2018 20:32

I was exactly the same. Excited and all organised weeks before, read up on everything, knew what I was doing, wasnt scared or unsure. Then as soon as I got in the car to go, I looked at DH and said "I think Im abit scared now" in fact I was crapping it but didnt want him to know that. As soon as I got to hosp I felt safe and releaved, you will be fine. Good luck and listen to your midwife

Starlight345 · 21/10/2018 20:35

Good luck op. I was far calmer than I expected to be . Contractions hurt but everyone felt a step closer to meeting my baby.

elliejjtiny · 21/10/2018 20:40

Good luck. I remember feeling just like that during pre labour with all of mine. I found pre labour is the worst bit as you know it's going to get worse but once active labour starts then you know you can do it. I would do it again if we had the space and money.

tealandteal · 21/10/2018 20:41

I was so so worried about child birth, I got all light headed in the antenatal classes. It is painful but there are lots of pain relief options if you need them. It sounds cheesy but breathing through them really helps. Good luck!

Cattenberg · 21/10/2018 20:42

I struggled with pre-labour, but once I'd been admitted to hospital and had access to the birthing pool and pain relief, I felt so much better. I wish I'd known this at the beginning - it would have made the pre-labour stage so much easier to cope with.

Oysterbabe · 21/10/2018 20:43

You'll be fine. I quite enjoyed it and felt AMAZING once it was done.

Original poster
ActiveBlend · 21/10/2018 20:44

Thanks everyone. This thread is calming me down a little! Just had a horrid contraction and am bleeding a bit now. Midwives said nothing to worry about. Baby kicking away nicely. And breathe....

OP posts:
Serialweightwatcher · 21/10/2018 20:45

You'll be absolutely fine - I'm the biggest wimp going but I did it twice ... very best of luck Flowers

WonderTweek · 21/10/2018 20:49

Good luck! I seem to remember the contractions being the hard bit and the pushing bit was actually a lot less painful. I thought it would be the other way round! It’s not going to be a walk in the park but if you’re anything like me and some other mums I’ve spoken to you’ll get into “the zone” and just focus on the task. And it’s actually true that you will forget about the pain after a while. Mother Nature is very clever. 😊

lilyblue5 · 21/10/2018 20:51

OP I am with you. With my second I got to the bit where you need to push and suddenly freaked out.
All I can say is that it will be over before you know it and as soon as you are holding you baby it’s mostly forgotten.
Good luck and go with it, take pain relief if you need it, don’t leave it too late to get to the hospital x x x

RollaBowlaBall · 21/10/2018 20:52

I don’t think I actually truly believed I was really having a baby until my waters broke.
I was standing in the maternity ward (induction) yelling “I’m having a BABY” whilst gripped with pure terror.
My partner and the nurses all laughed at me and said it was very common to panic at the start of labour. I soon calmed down and got in to the rhythm of the contractions.

So don’t worry about panicking, you are going to give birth, you will be fine. Hang in there x

lilyblue5 · 21/10/2018 20:52

Also, if you have a TENS get it on now

Original poster
ActiveBlend · 21/10/2018 20:54

Ive just realised I'm over an hour away from the hospital... would it BU to go when contractions are 4 mins apart as opposed to 3? In panic mode!

OP posts:
Bobbiepin · 21/10/2018 20:54

I love a live birth thread

Bobbiepin · 21/10/2018 20:55

Call the midwives and tell them you are far away. They will probably tell you to come in early but talk to them. How far apart are they now?

Original poster
ActiveBlend · 21/10/2018 20:56

@Bobbiepin they're very irregular. I went an hour earlier without contractions but most are about 10 mins apart lasting a minute. Have a feeling I've got a while to go...

OP posts:
lilyblue5 · 21/10/2018 20:58

I thought 5 mins was ok to go? I’d call them, good luck OP

Original poster
ActiveBlend · 21/10/2018 20:59

@lilyblue5 I was told 3 minutes when I spoke to them earlier but will give them a call to make sure.

OP posts:
lilyblue5 · 21/10/2018 20:59

Oh sorry are they 10 mins? If you are an hour away I’d go sooner, rather wait more at the hospital than risk not getting there in time...

Bluelady · 21/10/2018 20:59

So exciting, you're just hours away from seeing your baby's face.

motherofjiggly · 21/10/2018 21:00

Good luck!! You can do it, just breathe and believe in your body, let it get on with things. And ask for whatever pain relief you need! It will be so amazing when you meet your baby 

InfiniteVariety · 21/10/2018 21:02

I remember panicking as labour started with my first!
Best advice I can offer is remain on your feet & moving about as long as possible - it really helps Flowers

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