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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry about large daughter.

169 replies

Purplesky2 · 21/10/2018 12:15

I feel a little bit sad for her. She is 7 and 138cm and 32kg. Not fat but not going to have slim frame ever. Dad is 6ft 5 so she is going to be tall. I’m quite small at 5ft 6 and 9 stone.
People assume she is 10
She wants to be good at gymnastics and dance but isn’t the build for it but I encourage her anyway but am pushing her to being enthusiastic about netball and hockey.
I watch her eating - she loves food and has a large appetite. I encourage lots of activity. I don’t mention her size in a negative way at all and big up the tall said of it but everyone and then I notice how much taller she is than her peers and she sticks out.
I’m hoping she will stop growing earlier and everyone will catch up.

OP posts:
Whoisshequestionmark · 21/10/2018 12:19

According to the nhs website her bmi is healthy. Infact she'd have to gain quite a bit of weight to be in the "overweight" category. I can't see the worry.

Whoisshequestionmark · 21/10/2018 12:21

And why can't she do dance or gymnastics? She's 7. She can do anything she wants to. Quite frankly I think you're being ridiculous.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/10/2018 12:21

She sounds ok op

Why is she the wrong build for gym and dance? Surely at 7 it's for fun/exercise Not the Olympics or swan lake.

Feed healthily and get lots if exercise. If you are doing just that you will be fine

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2018 12:22

I'm confused

Are you worried about her weight or her height?

Cherries101 · 21/10/2018 12:23

I think this is a matter of changing your negative view of her size than her health. You clearly place worth in women being small and you say you watch what she eats, which for a healthy bmi child is wrong.

TheStoic · 21/10/2018 12:23

Isn’t the build for it?

Unless you want her to make a living professionally from dance or gymnastics, (which is incredibly unlikely) PLEASE don’t discourage her from doing things she loves just because of the shape of her body.

GinIsIn · 21/10/2018 12:26

It doesn’t sound like there’s an issue with her. It does seem like there’s one with you, however. You need to consider the way you think about her and her weight.

FissionChips · 21/10/2018 12:26

Yabu. Perhaps you ought to get some type of therapy to help sort your strange thinking before it impacts on your dd.

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2018 12:26

you say you watch what she eats, which for a healthy bmi child is wrong.

What??

How can it be wrong?

It's probably one of the reasons her child has a healthy BMI.

Original poster
Purplesky2 · 21/10/2018 12:27

I’m not discouraging her from gymnastic but she does get down about never getting a certificate - she is heavy for her age (I’m not saying height) and holding that weight in a handstand/bridge is difficult for her.
Not really worried about her weight but obviously she has meat on her. I’m just aware that she is 20cm taller than her peers which is a lot and it is very noticeable.

OP posts:
TheStoic · 21/10/2018 12:29

Not really worried about her weight but obviously she has meat on her. I’m just aware that she is 20cm taller than her peers which is a lot and it is very noticeable.

What do you propose to do about her ‘height problem’?

GinIsIn · 21/10/2018 12:29

Are you sure she’s 20cm taller than her peers?! She’s only 38cm taller than my DS and he’s not yet 2! Confused

MsOliphant · 21/10/2018 12:29

Wow, she’s in for a treat growing up isn’t she?!

She might be slim by the tube she reaches her teens but I doubt she’ll have any self esteem. Way to go OP!

MsOliphant · 21/10/2018 12:29

*time

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2018 12:30

She's only 7 years old OP

There will be lots of 7 year olds who won't be getting certificates in their chosen hobbies/sports, until they practice harder etc.

It's probably got nothing to do with her weight and height...just the fact that she's 7.

I agree with PPs, you do seem to have a strange attitude.

Original poster
Purplesky2 · 21/10/2018 12:30

Yes I do have to tell her enough is enough when she has had her large dinner and a yoghurt and 3 pieces of fruit and still says she is hungry. I don’t restrict her otherwise but she has the appetite of a teenager. I suppose she is as tall as some!!

OP posts:
MsOliphant · 21/10/2018 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/10/2018 12:31

Isn't it possible that she's perhaps just not strong enough or very good at it.

At Dds gym class there kids of all builds.

I'm a little confused tbh because the weight and height you have given she's perfectly fine. But now you think she's to heavy to do gymnastics? Which is it? For reference my dd is 12 amd 140 cm and about 33.5 kg so not really a huge difference and she can do the bridge . Dont see how your dd is too heavy

Caprisunorange · 21/10/2018 12:32

It’s not unusual at all to be worried about your daughter being large Confused I don’t understand why people are pretending the don’t understand what she means.

My niece is very tall and I know it’s an issue for her. Of course her parents worry. My DD has a large build and I do worry it will cause her issues. It’s totally normal

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2018 12:33

Yes I do have to tell her enough is enough when she has had her large dinner and a yoghurt and 3 pieces of fruit and still says she is hungry.

Good. There's nothing wrong with that. Kids need to know they can't just sit about endlessly eating. Distract her and get her to drink a lot more fluids.

Lots of kids will eat out of boredom and claim it's hunger.

MsOliphant · 21/10/2018 12:33

OP posted about being worried about dd’s Weight two years Which was fine then too.

Im not sure how she’s mamanged to avoid giving the poor kid a complex in the meantime.

TheStoic · 21/10/2018 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quoted a deleted post.

GrumpyOldBlonde · 21/10/2018 12:34

You really need to address your attitude here, having a child with a 6'5 man was fairly obviously going to produce a tall child, there is bugger all you can do about her height and there is nothing wrong with being tall besides.

Vampiratequeen · 21/10/2018 12:35

I think YABVU and are going to Gove her serious issues if you carry on the way you are. I was always very tall and thin when I was your DD's age, there was only 1 girl taller than me. I am now shorter than most of my friends and borderline obese.

Vampiratequeen · 21/10/2018 12:36

Sorry meant to add, she is just a child there is plenty of time for society to put pressure in her about her weight, without you starting it early, is she was actually classed as over weight I would understand more, just let her be a child ffs.