To worry about large daughter.

[Purplesky2]

I feel a little bit sad for her. She is 7 and 138cm and 32kg. Not fat but not going to have slim frame ever. Dad is 6ft 5 so she is going to be tall. I’m quite small at 5ft 6 and 9 stone.
People assume she is 10
She wants to be good at gymnastics and dance but isn’t the build for it but I encourage her anyway but am pushing her to being enthusiastic about netball and hockey.
I watch her eating - she loves food and has a large appetite. I encourage lots of activity. I don’t mention her size in a negative way at all and big up the tall said of it but everyone and then I notice how much taller she is than her peers and she sticks out.
I’m hoping she will stop growing earlier and everyone will catch up.

[Muddlingalongalone]

I don't think yabu OP as long as you are not sharing your concerns with your dd1, although if her bmi is healthy then I wouldn't worry too much.
My dd1 is 7 and same height but heavier than your dd and it worries me a lot. She is visibly overweight & obsessed with food.
I'm letting her try all sorts of different activities and just trying to watch her diet & keep her active but undoubtedly dancing and gymnastics are more naturally easy for her smaller, lighter peers & even in my case dd2 who is only 3 but a more average size.
I think it's a very fine balance between supporting her, controlling her and setting her up for a lifetime of paranoia about her physical appearance and I don't know if I am getting the balance right but awareness and trying different strategies is the first step for me.

[Potplant2]

I’m 5’5 and would love to be taller. Think of all the gorgeous tall women there are. CJ in the West Wing, who I believe is 6’, is my idol.

It’s quite possible that she may just be growing early. I was tall as a pre teen but then all my friends caught up at puberty. But given the height of her parents it’s also possible that she may grow into a tall woman. I’d be affirming her in that. Catwalk models and many actresses are tall. So are many ordinary women. Talk to her about them. Or even better, stop worrying about her height and weight and be utterly matter of fact about both.

You really are on track to give her an eating disorder, or at least, very disordered eating habits. And to wreck your relationship with her. Back off.

[Purplesky2]

Of course I don’t tell her any of my worries.
I’m fact she made noise about giving up gymnastics but I encouraged her to go for the strength and conditioning.
Of course I give her treats like chocolate and cakes. Probably more that I should. But I do tell her when enough is enough.
I’m not an idiot and what a really likes is the stories from women who love their height as of course that is what I want acheive for my daughter.

[twattymctwatterson]

I bet your daughter understands that you don't like the way she looks- because that's what it boils down to. You've started umpteen threads about her (perfectly healthy) weight over the years. There's no way that doesn't come across. I mean I take it you know how to check a BMI calculator yourself?

[Ollivander84]

and what @LimitIsUp said. I was a great sprinter and loved it

[TheWiseWomansFear]

5'6 is quite tall I'm not sure why you think you're short?

Anyway my sister was the tallest in her class all through primary and then stopped growing in yr7. She's tiny now.

[explodingkitten]

You sound like your daughter is supposed to be elegant, thin and petite for you. How many camels do you want for her? Maybe you should focus on the fact that she is healthy, or funny or interesting or smart or a zillion other things that she could be. Maybe you should want her to be happy. She wasn't born to be a little doll, she is a unique person and you should be happy with that. If she grows tall, she grows tall. Have you seen the Olympic basketball women? They all have very long legs. Or the Dutch teenagers? There's nothing wrong with being tall.

[Pythonesque]

Ok lots of good stuff been said above. As a tall woman with tall children now very lean teenagers, I would be very happy for you to message me to talk it through if you'd like to.

Looking at the charts, your daughter is probably around 15 cm taller than average for her age, the reality in her immediate peer group will then vary by chance and who is old/young in the class. So yes I can well imagine she is 20 cm taller than her friends. As a child I was generally "a head" taller than my younger sister; and in turn she was usually about the size of my own classmates. As a young child I was literally "off the charts" and apparently they would just look at whether height and weight were in proportion to check I was ok.

Now, as to your daughter - she is definitely a healthy weight and one of the best things you can do is provide her with a good range of healthy food and allow her to eat to her appetite. That way she can remain in touch with her appetite.

I do understand what you mean about dance and gymnastics. Children who are tall tend to be growing faster much of the time and are often less flexible than their shorter peers. That lack of flexibility can have an impact on what they can achieve. BUT, at the age of 7 these are great activities and she should be encouraged to keep enjoying them and aim for personal improvement.

The other thing that may well be noticeable size wise, is that if she is more or less in proportion, she will be wider than many of her peers. Children don't change width all that much from perhaps 4 or 5, until early puberty. So you may perceive your daughter as "heavy build" from that when she is not, and without anything else changing will probably look lovely and lean by the age of 12 or (much) earlier.

[AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight]

She should celebrate her height (I say this as a shortarse) and you should back the hell off about her (perfectly fine) weight and sort out your own attitudes before you give her an eating disorder.

[Kr1stina]

OP you don’t need stories about women who love their height.

You need therapy or counselling. Seriously. You are going to make your daughter very unhappy or even unwell if you don’t get some help for yourself.

[pointythings]

I am the tall parent of two tall DDs - currently 5'10'' and 5'9'', the youngest is only 15. Both are still growing and I expect they will be taller than I am. They have both found a sport they love (archery) and are active and healthy. And yes, they have always been tall - DD1 was in adult jeans by age 10. If you are feeling such intense anxiety over your DD, I think you should look at getting some counselling - living with such stress isn't good for you. You have the insight to realise your DD's height and weight are fine - now take the next step and get some help to bring yourself some peace of mind.

[Missingstreetlife]

She's tall, she will need to eat more than a small person, if she's hungry make sure there are healthy snacks, hungry people don't have strength and it may affect her health, concentration, mood. She may still be growing, people grow at different rates and times, she may slow down later but don't restrict her food unles she is overweight, even then children should not diet.
The biggest problem for tall children is people's expectations that they act older, which they are not emotionally prepared for. Give her a hug and tell her she's lovely

[SendintheArdwolves]

Also, you seem to think that you are keeping all these "worries" and "concerns" from your daughter and that she has no idea you think that she is too big and therefore loads of things (gymnastics, dancing, fitting in, being happy, etc) are going to be SO MUCH HARDER for her.

You aren't keeping it from her. She will pick up on it (I did, even though my mother will claim she never mentioned it). Children are very attuned to their parents emotions and she will be well aware that her size is a bad thing.

[Knittedfairies]

She can still enjoy dance and gymnastics though, even if she isn’t ‘built’ for it. Maybe the Chinese or Russians wouldn’t whisk her away at 7 to intensive training camps to produce Olympic athletes, but she can enjoy herself.

[WildIrishRose1]

I'm the mum of late teens / early twenties DD and DS who are both 6' 2". I reckon my DS has not quite finished growing yet, as he has taken a leap only this year. I used to worry occasionally about my daughter's height and build as she was quite a bit taller than her peers, but alway encouraged her. I'm so proud that she, in particular, has no hang-ups about her height, often wearing 6" heels and rocking them! My son isn't bothered about height either.

[Elephant14]

You describe her as a "large daughter". That's all I need to know .

[saoirse31]

op you seem consumed with worry, not just about this, though this frequently, but re your children growing up also. I hope you do/ did get some counselling and that it helps you, as you really don't seem to be happy most of the time.

Re your Dd, stop worrying about which sports are suitable for her and encourage and support her in the sports she likes. And try to not let her know that you are so obsessed about her size.

[starzig]

More confused about 5ft 6 being quite small.
You are tall, dad is tall she will be tall. Not all gymnasts are 4ft 10 any more.

[alwayslearning789]

I understand where you are coming from OP, as a tall and larger woman myself. It took my mum a long time to accept that dainty was never a word that would be used to describe me.

Genetics determine height and you cannot change that.

What you can influence and change is your daughter's self love and encouragement for who she is.

Healthy eating and exercise all the way, and also most importantly learning to embrace and love the skin you are in always.

[fiadhflower]

I was tall and skinny as a child and teenager and had so, so many comments about it. These comments made me feel like a freak, like there was something really wrong with me. And I noticed this from the time I was very little - I can remember how a small friend was always described as cute by adults, but no one said that about me (who towered over her).

Luckily my parent never commented negatively, other than to talk positively about the benefits of being tall. I am grateful for this because I grew up to be happy to be tall.

I’m still slim - lower end of healthy BMI - and stopped growing at 5’10. I no longer feel exceptional tall - I work in an office where lots of the women are 5’8 to 6’1. But because of all the comments about my weight, I spent years wondering if I was too skinny and therefore disgusting. It probably took me until my mid-20s until I felt okay about my body. All of those comments I received were just unnecessary - I ate well and just happened to be tall and slim.

Please do all you can to help your daughter feel positive about her height and her body.

[BarbedBloom]

I am 6ft 2 and will never be dainty. I have broad shoulders and I do remember feeling awkward doing ballet with all the tiny slim girls, but now I am older i wouldn’t change anything. I love being tall. I see a lot of very tall girls and women these days, years ago I never saw women as tall as me but it is a regular occurrence now. I found swimming helped build my strength, so may be worth finding something to help with that to make the gym holds easier for her

[RoseGoldEagle]

You’re sad because she’s never going to have a ‘small frame’? This is your issue, your daughter sounds healthy and normal.

[Missingstreetlife]

Google tall women. Plenty of beautiful cebrities, tennis players, models.... Michelle Obama is fabulous. Just relax

[peachgreen]

OP if you don't get professional help to tackle this obsession with your daughter's weight you are dooming her to a lifetime of disordered eating at best, full-blown eating disorder at worst, and severely damaging your chances of having a relationship with her into adulthood. Sorry to be so blunt but this is a serious matter. Your preoccupation with it isn't normal or healthy.

[moredoll]

Agree with pp. If gymnastics isn't her thing and she's asking to stop why not encourage her to take up swimming or tennis?