To worry about large daughter.

[Purplesky2]

I feel a little bit sad for her. She is 7 and 138cm and 32kg. Not fat but not going to have slim frame ever. Dad is 6ft 5 so she is going to be tall. I’m quite small at 5ft 6 and 9 stone.
People assume she is 10
She wants to be good at gymnastics and dance but isn’t the build for it but I encourage her anyway but am pushing her to being enthusiastic about netball and hockey.
I watch her eating - she loves food and has a large appetite. I encourage lots of activity. I don’t mention her size in a negative way at all and big up the tall said of it but everyone and then I notice how much taller she is than her peers and she sticks out.
I’m hoping she will stop growing earlier and everyone will catch up.

My dd is also 7 ( 8 in February ) and is overweight at 40kg and is 130cm, recently measured.

She has a fantastic appetite and this has largely caused the problem and has had to stop some of her activities due to having severe asthma.
Since she has started back at school she is slimming down slightly due to all of the running around and I'm looking at her joining clubs that focus on the activity rather than entering competitions etc.

It depends on the cohort too if your dd looks bigger. Lots of my dd's friends are teeny tiny and she looks even bigger.

In the year above there are several girls of bigger build.
We're working on it though. I do not want to give her a complex.
It's tough

I am glad I’m being unreasonable.
I sway between not worrying and then worrying too much.
I’ll stick at not worrying.

She's not heavy for her height. It's her weight vs height you need to look at. If she's that much taller than her peers you can't compare her weight to theirs.

She's tall due to genetics. No diet is going to fix that. You need to tread carefully not to make this an issue for her. It's something that can't be fixed. Stop worrying about other people's comments. Your daughter is what's important.

I am more worried about your attitude and the fact that you are likely to leave her with some form of eating disorder and esteem issues.

Op - I mean this from a good place but just stop! Be your daughters champion - don't compare her just encourage her.

I have 2 DDs - 9 years old and 155cm - size 6 shoes and 7 years old 145cm. No idea what they weigh but I can count their ribs so I assume they are just fine.

I encourage them to dance and do gymnastics and achieve the best they can in them but they are never going to be able to get to the level their friends achieve with ease - they aren't made that way, but I encourage them to train and practice. They do other things too that are more suited to their bodies - they are both brilliant swimmers, they do karate and are just discovering netball.

My mum (was/is) tiny 5' and a size 10 and growing up just didn't get it - was so unhelpful in a trying to be helpful way (compared me, discouraged me from things I wanted to try as she perceived that I wouldn't be good a then) and didn't understand how truly hard it was being extremely tall. She was always just a little bit negative about my height and build, as I am not slim - big boned is the phrase she would use to talk about me.... I was 6'1 by the time I was 13 and it was so difficult to build my self esteem up as an adult.

Anyway, I thought you may appreciate it from someone that has been there. Trust me your daughter knows she's tall and big. And will hear it a million times from a million different people who don't mean to be rude and/or hurtful but can't resist commenting on her size - please please just tell her she is amazing and she can do everything.

Christ, you sound like my mum. She "worried" about my physicality as I was growing up. I was tall and strongly built and she thought that was...less than ideal.

I will never forget how she used to look at me - a mixture of bafflement and frustration that she had such a lot of daughter. She never said directly "you are too big and that is a bad thing" - it was just clear that she "worried" and wished I was different.

I'm not sure exactly what the problem was - that I would be different from my peers, that men wouldn't find me attractive, that it was wrong for a woman to be tall?

Her worry achieved nothing - I continued growing into my late teens and now am over six foot. All she did was make me feel bad about myself.

And she was wrong - being tall is excellent.

My 9yo is 152cm and 40kg. I’ve not worked out her BMI but she looks perfectly proportioned (albeit a huge amount taller than her friends) I only have the above figures from a recent hospital admission.

I think I know where you’re coming from, I worry my DD will feel more akward the older she gets, although she thankfully doesn’t seem to be bothered by her height & advanced development at the moment.

I’ve just AS you, you really do have a complex about your daughters build.
It’s not healthy to be as obsessed and worried as you are, please get some help, you’ll feel much happier.

Christ you sound terrible. I hope you are a troll!
Poor girl with your strange views on what's small for a person.
She's healthy - count your blessings.

I was a tall kid. Me and another girl were head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
Started my periods at ten, and had stopped growing pretty much by 11 or 12, at 5ft 7ins, and everyone else then started to catch up or in some cases overtake me.
It is hard being the odd one out. I was self conscious, probably not at seven but certainly by the time I was hitting puberty, and aware that some clothes which looked cute on my friends looked frankly ridiculous on me. School uniforms especially gingham summer dresses don’t really suit bigger girls.
If I were you I’d encourage healthy eating while being aware that she will require more food than the average seven year old, and encourage her to keep going with the gymnastics and dance, along with lots of positive comments along the lines of “you’re lovely and tall, just like your daddy,” or “you look like a supermodel with those long legs.”

OP i’m 80kg and I can hold a handstand weight has nothing to do with it - it’s technique and strength. Encourage her to practice and she’ll achieve it.
As others have said, be her champion

As a fellow tall person, there’s nothing wrong with her, but there is something wrong with your attitude. I was taller than your daughter at the same age, and I did gymnastics and dancing and was good at them. It never occurred to me not to do them because of my build, but that’s because I had supportive parents who told me I could do anything I set my mind to. I loved being tall and still do.

A cautionary tale op.

My mother was like you. Constantly worried about my weight. Constantly telling me when to stop eating and being very controlling over what I ate. She would tell me that I was fat and that no one want to be friends with a fat girl.
As soon as I was old enough to go into town (we lived rurally, no local shops) I would buy chocolate, cakes, sweets and other crap and smuggle it home.
When I left home and was free to eat what I wanted I hugely over ate.
Now I am quite overweight and have only just stopped hiding food.
My mother still calls me to tell me I’m fat.
I rarely speak to her anymore.

Is this what you want for your daughter because this is exactly what you are doing.

She's still young, maybe she'll keep growing and be tall,maybe she won't. What she needs most is support and encouragement to be the best she can and as happy as she can.
As for are you wrong to worry, you're her mum - thats your job. I expect you'll still be worrying when she's 27 never mind 7.

There are plenty of sports where height is an asset. If she’s downhearted about not getting certificates in gymnastics then I’d encourage her to try other sports. Basketball, netball, athletics, football. Most sports actually her height will give her an advantage as she will be competing against kids the same age.
I’m not sure why height would be a barrier to being a dancer though? What kind of dance is she interested in?

She wants to be good at gymnastics and dance but isn’t the build for it but I encourage her anyway but am pushing her to being enthusiastic about netball and hockey.

As others have said above this is ridiculous and unreasonable. She is only 7. How can you have written off your daughter because of her body type at that age? Poor thing, if you are "pushing her" towards other things, she'll pick up on it and only develope a complex.

The key age for gymnastics is about 14 to 18. Professional gymnasts typically retire at 16 - 18. Her body type may change drastically in that time. Besides, muscular power is a key attribute for gymnasts - being powerful is not a failing.

20cm taller than her peers? She’s the same height as my 7 year old. In her class there are maybe 6/7 the same height and most are maybe 5-8cm taller with vey very few significantly shorter .

Christ alive OP. This is your 6th thread about your daughter’s weight. You need help!

OP you married a man at 6ft 5 (99.6th centile) and at 5 ft 6 you are not small you are 3 inches above the average height (and indeed in todays standards are the 75th centile for height) is it any wonder you have a 98th centile daughter?

DD has a friend who is tall and well built and she excelled at gymnastics - DD who looks like a gymnast in her build is rubbish at it!

My dd now 12 spent her early primary days head and shoulders above her peers, by year 6 a few had caught up. She is still tall now but others are catching up especially the boys. I didn’t bat an eyelid and all I worried about was getting uniform with adjustable waist so it was long enough but didn’t hang off her.
I think you need to get a grip and stop seeing it as an issue.

I'm 5ft 10 and built like a power lifter. Big shoulders, broad build. And heavy
This was me last week. I should add I'm usually better than these photos but I'm post spinal surgery
You need to be her champion, not telling her what she can't do. Tell her what she can!

Big yawn at dance and gymnastics. Perhaps your dd is more powerfully built and will do well at sprinting (which is much more fun imo).

She's 7, she's active and she's healthy. You don't need to give her a complex about either her height or her weight. You don't need to steer her towards activities and sports you think suit her build. Just let her enjoy being herself. Genetics will probably dictate that she's going to be super model stature. Please don't give her the eating disorder to go with it.

She’s incredibly young.
And she may not make it is a professional gymnast but that doesn’t mean you should discourage her. Kids are meant to do activities because they enjoy them, they keep fit and make friends - you can’t just pull them out if they’re not top of the class.

Teach her the benefits of a healthy, balanced diet - don’t deprive her of treats but don’t go overboard either. Her body is an amazing instrument capable of great things and she should grow up loving it and having awareness of its power. Don’t give her a complex about her body, she will carry that her entire life.

@SausageOnAFork your experience echoes mine so much! Do we have the same mother
I was the same. Growing up always tallest girl in my class, chubby but never not in the healthy BMI range. Yet was constantly told I was fat and and that my parents were ashamed of me. Same thing happened to me and at 14 I became a binge eater, became overweight (not hugely, was a size 14) then by 15 was bulimic and self-harming.

This is not the way to go. Keep eating healthily. Encourage her to do any and every activity she wants to. Let her grow to be her own person and build her up rather than shooting her down.