To worry about large daughter.

[Purplesky2]

I feel a little bit sad for her. She is 7 and 138cm and 32kg. Not fat but not going to have slim frame ever. Dad is 6ft 5 so she is going to be tall. I’m quite small at 5ft 6 and 9 stone.
People assume she is 10
She wants to be good at gymnastics and dance but isn’t the build for it but I encourage her anyway but am pushing her to being enthusiastic about netball and hockey.
I watch her eating - she loves food and has a large appetite. I encourage lots of activity. I don’t mention her size in a negative way at all and big up the tall said of it but everyone and then I notice how much taller she is than her peers and she sticks out.
I’m hoping she will stop growing earlier and everyone will catch up.

Looking at centile charts, Purplesky2, your dd's weight is within normal centile ranges for her age, whereas her height is well above the 100th centile for a 7-year old of either sex. What do you mean, therefore, by "large", as fat she clearly isn't - underweight is more likely, as there seem to be more than 2 centile lines between her height and weight? Don't forget that you don't go by adult bmi checks for young children, but by the growth charts that should be in the book given to you by your health visitor when your dd was small. If by "large" you mean she has abnormally large hands, feet and facial features, then don't ask strangers on the internet, reassure yourself with a quick trip to a medical professional to ask. The likelihood is, with a 6' 5" father, that your dd is completely normal, happy and healthy and your worries are totally unfounded, as growth disorders are extremely rare, but as she is a few cm taller than the tallest child of her age (assuming she is only just 7) who is still within the centile ranges, you are not unjustified in asking a simple question.
Btw, there was a girl in my ds's class who looked like an 11 year old in year 1. Now she is 14, she is still tall, but certainly does not stick out as unusually tall any more - and nobody ever bullied her for being tall, either. The other children were always absolutely fine with her - it was adults who used to do a double take and wonder whether she was an older child helping with the little ones!

I’m 5’5 and think of myself as average height or slightly above, which is exactly what I am.

I second the recommendation to think about why you think women should be tiny. It seems to come from an internalised misogyny that says women shouldn’t take up too much space, shouldn’t assert themselves or be powerful or strong or command a room. Why would you prefer your daughter to be tiny than taller/bigger than average?

And also, I’m certain your DD will have picked up your worry and stress about her size. For one thing, how often do you weigh her? I don’t remember ever being weighed by my mother as a child and I wasn’t even aware that there were recommended weights. I was a healthy size, perhaps on the skinny side until puberty, so nobody bothered to check.

Just let her be. And address your own issues with food and misogyny before you seriously mess her up.

Actually, sorry, correction to my earlier post - your dd is above the 99.6th centile for an only just 7-year old in terms of height. Not sure about the 100th centile. I wouldn't be surprised if her dad was similar at that age!

That is literally a ridiculous thing to post. A post every TWO years is nothing.

It’s not nothing when almost every thread this poster has started has been about her children’s (perfectly normal) weight. And when she states she is ‘worried’ or, in the last one, ‘getting stressed’ about these perfectly normal children’s weight. And when her anxiety also seems to focus on a girl’s height, which she can do nothing about.

It’s also not hard to imagine what has been happening in the house during those two years as the OP doesn’t seem to take any advice on board or try to challenge her own negative and irrational thinking around size - what messages has the DD been picking up about her physical size and her value as a result?

She'll have her day when she starts team sports at school. I'm very tall and as a family we joke about how at 4 I was told not to come back to ballet class because I was too big. Let her do her gymnastics and gently introduce the idea she will a great runner or netball player when she's older. My mum was excellent at bulling me when I felt big and awkward compared with petite friends. She'd call me a valkyrie and little amazon etc. It's a different age now though and parents seem to invest so much in activities and clubs.

That is literally a ridiculous thing to post. A post every TWO years is nothing

I don't think it's ridiculous, it's quite a lot that every two years she's stressed, anxious and worried about her daughters perfectly healthy weight. In one post she wanted to know whether to take her daughter to the doctor for a referral because she's tall. A referral to who?! The OP obviously has some issues that she herself needs to address before she passes this way of thinking on to her daughter. If this carries on her daughter will grow up with zero self esteem thinking she's 'large' or got 'meat' on her just because her mother thinks she's overweight.

I agree, swimming was my daughters exercise of choice and she excelled at it.
We always said it was her big flipper feet. She was very proud of them.
Just encourage her and tell her she is beautiful.

Pps obviously, your dd can't in reality be above the 100th centile for her age, as that would mean she doesn't exist! I think they might ignore outliers when doing the charts, though? Either way, with a father as tall as your dh, chances are you will be told it is completely normal for your dd to be right at the very top of the centile charts for height - and that there is no way on earth that she weighs too much for that height!!

I'm 5' 6'' (well... just under). I feel entirely average in height. There are plenty of women shorter than me, and plenty taller. I never really think about it, apart from at gigs when I wish I was a little bit taller! My partner is about an inch taller than me, height doesn't interest me at all.

I used to be tall for my age as a child, but stopped growing at 14 and everyone caught up. I then grew another inch or so while I was at uni, strangely. My mum's side of the family are short, my dad's side on the taller side but not very tall. I ended up right in the middle.

Madmarchpear I've just taken my nearly 4 year old DD out of ballet, and take her to rugby instead. She loves it, suits her so much better. She's solidly built and tall - has been right from the start. I agree that getting into sport is the way forward!

I've also As you, and am shocked at how obsessed you seem about your children's heights (especially your poor daughter).

Stop.
Just stop.

Not just for a few months, but you need to stop obsessing over this permanently. It's deeply unhealthy and unfair on your daughter.

The poor child has seemingly had her diet monitored for years, with you wanting her to go to the gp even because you deem her to be too tall.

Just stop.
She is fine. You grow tall children. That's ok. Get over it.

Why worry about her size? Kids come in all shapes and sizes.
Honestly my dd was a bit chubby as a little one but she did everything she wanted. No ballet or gymnastics as she wasn't interested. She was in my eyes a beautiful girl with thick blonde hair and green eyes.
She thinned out around 14 but now at 24 is curvy and proud of it.
I was the opposite, skinny and tall. I left ballet as I felt self conscious towering over the cute little girls. And relatives didn't help saying ooh isn't Ruby tall?
I m now average size and weight and at 14 everyone caught up with me or grew taller.
Please celebrate your daughter as she is, a beautiful tall girl. I never remarked on my dd s chubbiness unless she said anything like Rachel is a lot thinner than me and I would say yes Emma but it doesn't matter. We re all different and you re beautiful as you are.
Fwiw my dd has never been shy or had an eating disorder.

Your last post made it into The Sun. Did you think in 2 years opinions would change? www.thesun.co.uk/living/1786118/ive-started-being-strict-with-her-it-is-for-her-own-good-stressed-mum-fears-her-five-year-old-is-overweight-and-reaches-out-for-help-on-mumsnet/

Rinse and repeat every 2 years

Normally in this type of thread I would think YANBU - but this continual fretting is BU. Give the girl a break!

Keep her active - choose a sport where her height is an advantage (netball or rowing) and concentrate on supporting her, not putting her diet under a microscope.

babyblade so for 2 years OP has been getting advice and disregarding it?
Poor girl she will soon start to notice this obsession with size so OP is BU yes.

Please ease up on her. I grew up thinking I was fat because of how my Mum treated me. It's only looking back through old photos that I realise I was a totally normal size.

DD isn't great at football, but she loves it. Isn't that what's important?

Tall is great!

So is small! My DD is 14 and 5'1".

Tall women, average women, small women - all good!

Purplesky2 - if you really have been obsessing about this for years, then I think you need psychiatric help. Your dh is 6' 5" fgs - your dd is likely to be tall. If you genuinely fear your dd has gigantism, then seek help from a GP and ask for her to be assessed, as the sooner a genuine growth disorder is identified, the better. If this is about you wishing she had your stature, then seek help for yourself to help deal with your unreasonable anxiety and stop telling your dd her appetite is too large and stop obsessing about her height.