To have wondered how to answer my Niece?!

[forwhatyouare]

She's 7.

We were talking about Christmas and one of the things I said was to remember her Mummy works hard to get her all these presents. She was quick to protect that Santa brought them. I said he does indeed, but Mummy pays for the elves to make the presents and then she pays for the delivery.

She said "Why does she do that? Can't she get them herself from town? And that way I can choose what wrapping paper I actually want? "

Kids, eh?!

SIL now a bit peeved that I've said Santa doesn't pay and give presents from magical kindness. Oops.

The mythology of Santa values from family to family. I want my children to be grateful to ME so Father Christmas (not Santa lol) brings a stocking only. Presents under the tree are from us.

Incidentally, why DO we think it's so great to lie to children about Father Christmas, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny etc - the analogy is how easily religions were created by people to control other people...

You shouldn't have discussed it. You can't make assumptions, my 9 yr old still believes in Santa and I'd be really cross if someone decided to have this conversation with them.

Odd: people's real, emotional investedness in their children believing in Santa/Father Christmas. As if make-believe can't be magical if it's clear to all that it is make-believe.

Also odd: snobbery about saying Santa (cf. above, 'not Santa lol'), as if one is a better class of person for saying Father Christmas.

Children spoken about on here seem to believe in Santa a lot longer than the children that I know in RL. I don't know or haven't known a child to believe past six.

That was about the age I had a discussion with my brother, he'd been told by a little shit that Santa was dead a few years earlier.

Anyway we decided not to tell our parents and ran into their room shuting, "he's been" for a few more years.

OP
Leave it to your SIL and go along with her but I should think Santa has special rates for parents with good children and he also makes sure nothing is out of stock.

The thing is, if you’re going to do Santa, you need a credible story. All this sending gifts to Santa malarkey just isn’t logical! No wonder children work out there’s a problem. I mean, why on earth would granny or great uncle Jim post a present to the North Pole, only for Santa to bring it back again? Makes no sense!

In our house, Santa brings stocking presents. These are smaller, token gifts, chocolate coins, a book, a small game, a few trinkets and always a satsuma in the toe of the stocking. All other presents are under the tree, build up through December as we’re given them by relatives and friends and then DH and I add ours for the children to the pile on Xmas Eve. The children know who has bought them what and write thank you letters/draw pictures as is age appropriate.

Santa still comes to me.

My kids all dropped the pretence around age 9/10 but this isn’t about that. It’s about imposing your notion of Christmas on someone else’s family tradition of Christmas. And that’s not fair. You shouldn’t have done that. Every family has different ideas and traditions and you’ve just trampled over theirs.

Hah tricky! I steer clear of other people’s children and Santa.

Fwiw we have some presents from Santa and some from others and Santa brings them all...

Personally I’d not so much the Santa thing for me as the we work hard for your presents you must be grateful thing. Not my cup of tea.

Also in agreement re disliking 'the we work hard for your presents you must be grateful thing'. Shouldn't gifts be given out of generous joy in another's pleasure, not to elicit obseqious gratitude?

It is the ones who are better at English and inference who believed for longer because they appreciated fiction more and were able to suspend belief

What utter tosh. You can be extremely fond and talented at English from a young age without believing in Santa for a longer amount of time.

Wow OP, you are getting a ridiculously hard time on here. Just popped in to give you some I really don't think what you did was that bad! A bit tactless maybe but you don't deserve the flaming you are getting.

I forgot my tin hat when posting yesterday. Sore head today :D

The bit where you say your niece is not seven but eight because her birthday is in a week. No she's seven then. You seem to have trouble being honest.
Your comment about milking the gift list makes me think you have been like this for a while.
If you are real of course.

I suppose the event must be far more scandalous than I originally thought, since you're questioning if I'm real! Why do I seem to have trouble being honest? And she's not really '7' though is she if she is 8 in a few days? Her own mum says she's '8 now and to start behaving herself, etc etc'.

If someone told my DC that I paid santa and the elves I would be livid, how the hell would anyone know what I say to my DC. I would never think to say anything to someone elses DC.... It doesn't really matter how old some DC believe for or if some on here didn't bother with 'santa or think that DC have worked it out by aged 7'. The issue is whether you were unreasonable to say what you did to your niece. And in answer to that YABU

Interesting that someone brought up Ireland earlier in the thread.

My dad is from there and says he believed until 11/12 (just before senior school).

I was very taken aback at the time (I was about 8 myself), I can still remember it. I remember him looking very raised eyebrow about all these English children knowing Santa isn't real and Sainsbury's isn't cheap from age 6 or so :)

BINGO!! Honestly didn't think I'd have to wait as long as this for 'livid'. (Always a favourite of mine on mn)

Just keep your mouth shut next time.

My daughters 7 and fully believes. I’d be annoyed if you told her I bought the presents as that’s not how we do it.

I keep telling my son that Father Christmas isn’t real and he’s just a story but he will not believe me. He’s nearly 8 too but terrified of the idea of Father Christmas and we have a nightmare build up to Christmas. I wish someone else would tell him the truth too but everyone just reinforces the story!

My grandchildren believed until age 9/10 then seemed to come to the truth themselves as they got older. I never complicated matters by saying parents paid and Santa delivered. There were special stockings and one ‘big’ present from Santa and everything else was from named people to be thanked.

Wow, think people are being harsh on you OP. It's not like you told her Santa doesn't exist. You just told her that the gifts still have to be paid for. Our parents told us throughout childhood that they sent money to Santa for our presents. It in no way ruined the magic for us! And I intend to let my own son think the same. It can't be just that Santa can get anything, regardless of cost. We are in Ireland and here, the main present tends to come from Santa.

So are you all saying there is no Santa Claus....... 😭

I wanted to say you are really lucky to have your sil. Lots of parents would have Been a bit miffed - you overstepped.

But it’s not the end of the world. In future leave the mechanics of Santa and parents to the parents - in case you contradict them. And hop fully they will afford you the same courtesy when your little one is older.

What utter tosh

Goosh I am so sorry you obviously know my children better than me and know their abilities and strengths. Or maybe you just read what you want to and failed to understand that I was talking about my children and their experiences.

Gosh

Father Christmas still comes here. My children still write him a list, shout that "he's been" on Christmas morning, leave out a mince pie, whisky and carrots and then check that they've been eaten.

They are in their 20s and don't even live here but come for Christmas 😂😂😂

We're like I was there. Stockings from Santa, but we also exchange gifts so we all buy for each other too. The big stuff is from us and the grandparents. It's important to us that they reciprocate so we helped them buy presents for grandparents and us too. That adds to the joy.

My DC are 15 and 18. They confessed a couple of years ago that they knew about FC from Junior school, so about 7, but kept quiet in case we stopped the stockings.

Think the OP is getting a bit of a hard time for her mistake that she has admitted was wrong and has apologised for. Some parents make FC a really big deal and are overly precious about getting the story right but we all do FC differently. I'd never heard of parents paying FC or of FC bringing all the presents before MN, in our house the kids get a stocking from FC with a mix of food, useful stuff like toothbrushes, pants, socks, and a few small toys) and that's it. All other present have cards on them saying who they are from and thankyou cards (from the stocking ) are written.

@Weetabixandshreddies I love that 😂

@seatoski yes! This is how my mum described it! Once you know Santa is a spirit of Christmas not the real thing you get the best part which is keeping it alive for those that do believe. The year I worked out my mum had me pick out all the stocking presents for my brother so I became Santa - it was lovely!