To have wondered how to answer my Niece?!

[forwhatyouare]

She's 7.

We were talking about Christmas and one of the things I said was to remember her Mummy works hard to get her all these presents. She was quick to protect that Santa brought them. I said he does indeed, but Mummy pays for the elves to make the presents and then she pays for the delivery.

She said "Why does she do that? Can't she get them herself from town? And that way I can choose what wrapping paper I actually want? "

Kids, eh?!

SIL now a bit peeved that I've said Santa doesn't pay and give presents from magical kindness. Oops.

Think you've had a rough time on here. My DD is 8. She has 100% known since she was about 6 that Santa isn't real, logic & science ruled that one out for her, but she played it cool just before turning 6 as I think her thought process was if I still believe in Santa I'll get more presents haha!

I know from having a child that age that you can't just nod your head and expect them to accept a vague answer or no answer atall, they'll keep asking & suss something's up when your not giving them one. Christmas magic is lovely, but I think children should learn gratitude from an early age & I think for being on the spot you answered that question very well indeed, not sure why SIL is so mad it's not like you told her he wasn't real.

Too many kids these days are growing up entitled little sods, I'm with you on your reply to her as that's what I told DD at age 6 although she did roll her eyes at me haha

I believed in Father Christmas until I was 11/12 and argued with people who said he wasn’t real as I thought there was no way my parents could afford the presents I got each year. I wasn’t upset when I found out the truth and was just very grateful for everything I had received.



Well, to be fair to the OP she didn't do what my DearAunt did last Christmas.....Christmas day with all the family. Oldest of the grandchildren is my 7 year old DS. Her grandson is 6 months younger and then 5-6 others aged 3-5 and a baby. Her grandson announced loudly when we got to the present opening; 'Granny says that Santa doesn't exist and it is very wrong for adults to lie to children'.

Cue.... utter carnage.

It's not so much the belueving in santa op, but the fact that you commented on what her mother might spend and seasoned it with anticipated gratefulness.

Surely at 7 she doesn't really believe in Father Christmas anyway? Seems a bit old.

I think pp are being abit harsh here , I would have presumed most 7/8 year olds had twigged on to knowing Santa isn’t real and if your original comment was slip of the tongue you then panicked and said that explanation that’s how it sounds to me, I would text sil to say sorry but don’t beat yourself up about it

What surprises me is that everyone has different myths and approaches to the same basic story. Every year on mn there are people really really upset because someone in their extended family does things a different way and are upset that their children aren’t doing it as expected.

Eg are the present under the tree from Santa or just stocking fillers

I’ve never heard of anyone saying that the parents pay for presents before so that’s a new one on me. Mind you I’ve told them that like the rest of the global economy Santa is struggling a bit with a decade of austerity so might not be able to be as generous this year

So does this child get nothing from her parents for Christmas, only 'Santa'?

At that age my youngest cousin went to my nan and put her on the spot "Nan, what about the Christkind (regional equivalent to Santa)? I know everyone buys presents etc but Mum and Dad and everyone says that the Christkind brings them".
My grandma said that the grownups do this to add the magic of Christmas but yes, technically they buy them and my cousin looked her dead in the eye and went "At least you are being honest with me"

I’d be pissed off. Ds is 7 and still believes. Earlier this year one of his friends said to him it’s just your mum buying the presents. I was sitting there like then I said but don’t you remember the video of him last year. I’d downloaded a video of FC flying over the village.
I suspect it may be the last Christmas he believes.

The whole Christmas period is built around various lies that some adults and children believe lol. The best thing to do is respect whatever others believe and zip your lips.
Be nice or Father Christmas won't come

Children spoken about on here seem to believe in Santa a lot longer than the children that I know in RL. I don't know or haven't known a child to believe past six.

I was 29 or so before I (indirectly) let it slip that I knew santa wasn't real. He kept bringing me presents, so why not?!

[santa]

YABU OP but you said you know that. The child’s age is irrelevant. Just make the apology and don’t talk to anyone else’s children about Santa.

Of course you can not answer, they follow their own line of questioning as far as they want to take it. 'How does Father Christmas get around the world in one night?' Well what do you think? Why don't Muslim children get presents from Father Christmas? Why do you think they don't get presents?

The child themselves stops questioning when they don't want to answer the question. It is actually more useful for encouraging critical reasoning than just answering questions. It is the ones who are better at English and inference who believed for longer because they appreciated fiction more and were able to suspend belief. It might be different if as an adult you are pushing that the story is real. Then you have to explain inconsistencies in your own story. I am not sure that one of mine ever did really believe but she is the one who finds inferences more difficult.

I use the same approach with other topics such as philosophy, political viewpoints, religion. I don't tell them what to think but ask them what they think. There are obviously some topics where I make my views clearly known - such as being polite and helpful.

I've never seen so much hate-spitting and spluttering over a non-event! I know who's deranged and it's not the op.

I know some 9 year olds who still believe so 7 is not that old to believe.

my 6yo (7 in December) told me couple of weeks ago Santa wasn't real and it was us I changed the subject so not sure if he meant it or not. If he'd asked me I'd have told the truth but that's my job as a parent to control the narrative around Santa (imo). What they believe in their household isn't your business and you shouldn't have said anything.

Glad you see yabu remember to keep it shut next time

I don't think you did anything wrong. The problem with a lie I.e. Santa everyone's is different! Here Santa only drops off a small present if choccolates, sweets and a DVD. The rest come from us. My nine year old ones it wasn't real around 7/8 so it's normal for them to start questioning it at that age.

The whole Christmas period is built around various lies that some adults and children believe lol. The best thing to do is respect whatever others believe and zip your lips.

We didn't do Santa. I just taught my child that he could say 'I (don't) believe...', or 'In my house...' and that people believe different things about Christmas.

We were brought up that parents paid for the presents and father Christmas delivered them. I have always told my son the same. I don't get what the big deal is for op to have said this to her Neice. The fact that neice is asking questions means that she's starting to work it out anyway.

Why is everyone being so nasty?! It’s not the crime of the century.

Why do we tell kids such stupid lies anyway? Why’s it so magical? What’s wrong with knowing your parents work hard and buy you the presents and that it’s them you should be nice to, rather than some random bloke who takes all the credit. Sounds like religion to me!

My husbands parents told him and his sisters that parents had to pay Santa and he just delivered the gifts as money was very tight in their house and his Christmas' sound crap tbh. There was no magic at all.

My mum made Christmas magical and we believed til we were about 10.

Each to their own. OP you were unreasonable and you know that now. Lesson hopefully learned.

I think telling a child that her parents pay for her gifts really dents the magic and makes it the same as just ordering stuff on Amazon. I'd be furious if you said this to my kid.

If the parents don't pay then how do you explain why some children get less at Christmas? What if your children assume other children are 'naughty', or if they themselves are if others in their class got more?

I dislike the trend for children to believe all the gifts come from Father Christmas.

People bring presents. FC does the stocking only.