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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel miffed

258 replies

Nicpem1982 · 20/10/2018 20:52

I know im probably abu

Dd(4)has asked to start an additional dance class in a different style, the sat class doesn't fit with the timings of her current dance class so theyve offered her a midweek class

Ils have said they wont take her as they have commitments with dn in the week with her clubs and its too much

I respect its their time and decision bit i can't help feeling a bit annoyed as it just feels so one sided because

Its not a long term commitment as in 2 terms dds current class time will change and the sat class will fit

We rarely ask for weekend childcare but dn is there every weekend

Its 14 miles round trip to dance dns school is a 60 mile round trip with clubs

Both pils drive so if theres occasional clashes it could still be done

It just feels so unfair that dd has to miss out

Aibu to feel miffed

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 21/10/2018 15:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nicknacky · 21/10/2018 15:00

She isn't being treated differently ffs!

You are expecting them to drive 1 hour just to prove to you that they treat them the same.

Take your own kid to dance class. She is 4, she can wait

AhNowTed · 21/10/2018 15:03

Your PILs are already giving you 3 days a week, and that's not enough?

80 responses and you still have your fingers in your ears, acting like a fucking child.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 21/10/2018 15:04

Nick - 40 mins tops and they are happy to take dn to clubd multiple times a week but not dd so yes she is being treated differently.

So what if she's 4 does this make her interests less valid than the 6 year olds?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 21/10/2018 15:05

Ahnowted- they requested the afternoon pick ups, we didnt ask we were happy to put dd in after school club

OP posts:
LikeIcare · 21/10/2018 15:08

Fucking hell you're relentless and really not very bright if you can't read all the posts.

AhNowTed · 21/10/2018 15:08

@Nicpem1982

You can't have it both ways.

They offered the 3 days, or they're not doing enough... which is it?

Lethaldrizzle · 21/10/2018 15:09

One day your daughter might be stamping her foot and demanding you take her daughter to dance class, not taking no for an answer.....

AhNowTed · 21/10/2018 15:11

You should be kissing the ground they walk on.

But you're too thick to see it

LL83 · 21/10/2018 15:16

Are you suggesting they cancel dn's class to remain fair?

They made a commitment to your niece and now they realise what is involved, the parking/rushing/hanging about whatever it is they don't enjoy they prob regret it but can't let her down, however they don't want to take on anymore.

Be grateful for what you have.

Nicknacky · 21/10/2018 15:21

Even if she was 4/6/8/10 then it's still the same. You can't get her there so she can't go. It's not the end of the world!

It's a 20 min drive each way. That's not taking into account the time it takes to take her in and get her settled not to mention delays or traffic on the roads.

JacquesHammer · 21/10/2018 15:25

@Nicpem1982

What is the problem with her waiting two terms until you can fit it in the schedule?

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 21/10/2018 15:37

Ll38 im not suggesting they cancel dns club at all

Jaques- she can start in 2 terms as I said i just dont like her being treated so differently to dn

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 21/10/2018 15:38

'Ahnowted- they requested the afternoon pick ups, we didnt ask we were happy to put dd in after school club'

Can just imagine if they hadn't have offered.

AhNowTed · 21/10/2018 15:39

LOL I fucking give up.

JacquesHammer · 21/10/2018 15:41

she can start in 2 terms as I said i just dont like her being treated so differently to dn

Cool. She isn’t being.

Sign her up for two terms time. Be grateful for the care you’re getting from grandparents

All good.

SoupDragon · 21/10/2018 15:41

i just dont like her being treated so differently to dn

How many clubs did they take your niece to when she was 4?

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 21/10/2018 15:42

Bil was nc with ils when dn was 4 so they didn't see her

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 21/10/2018 15:52

So, your DD is actually getting more from them at 4 than your niece did.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 21/10/2018 15:57

Bil chose to go nc with ils im not sure i see your point?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 21/10/2018 16:05

You don't see anyone's point so I'm not surprised.

Your DD is getting more attention than your niece did at the same age. You want her to have more than your niece, the child they have to catch up on lost time with.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 21/10/2018 16:09

Catching up on lost time with dn shouldnt be at the detriment of my dd. I dont want my dd to have more than my dn from ils they should treat both dgc equally and theyre not

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 21/10/2018 16:10

Catching up on lost time with dn shouldnt be at the detriment of my dd

It isn’t.

I dont want my dd to have more than my dn from ils they should treat both dgc equally and theyre not

You do realise treating them equally doesn’t mean treating them identically?

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 21/10/2018 16:14

Jacques - if you're prepared to do something for one you should be prepared to do it for the other.

Also if theyre finding the arrangements of clubs for dn 'too much' they need to tell bil so he can make alternative arrangements and take niether gc to clubs

OP posts:
AhNowTed · 21/10/2018 16:17

WASTE OF FUCKING TIME

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