to allow DS 11 to go to friends again?

[salterello1]

My DS (11) has made friends with someone in school and he went there for tea yesterday, his friends mum collected him from school and I collected my DS from the friends house later on.

I was a bit a bit shocked when I collected him at the state of the house. There was just stuff and clutter everywhere, it was dirty and looked like it hadn't been cleaned in a while.

Although I didn't venture in more than the hallway, I could see dirty plates piled up in the kitchen and a couple of dogs out the back, there was clumps of dog hair all up the stairs.

I could also see into one of the other down stairs rooms and there were piles of clothes and toys books and just general stuff everywhere - you could barely see the floor.

Mum seemed very nice, but I feel uncomfortable about my DS going into a house which was in this state. He wants to go there again this week AIBU to try and discourage it?

ftfoawygtfosm - so you're a splatters, are you? We've all heard about people like you!

oar totally agree... some people love gardening and my grass often looks awful, not my priority. Everyone is different.

I am also a bit at the assumption it’s the mother’s fault that the house was a tip? Is there no father / partner who is also equally responsible for cleaning?
My house gets vacuumed daily because it is one of the DCs chores, it only takes them a couple of minutes (they get allocated a room each). DH does the bathroom once a week on a Saturday. I am a bit confused on here why it always seems to be a woman’s responsibility to clean. (If you live alone and/or have DCs under 5 then fair enough)

@MereDintofPandiculation Just because there's clumps of dog hair on the stairs doesn't mean it's old dog hair. You could have hoovered half an hour ago and have clumps of new dog hair on the stairs.

I am sorry but you are talking utter tosh now, you know very well clumps of dog hair in the corners or stuck to furniture appear after a significant amount of time! If it was only there for a few days it would not form clumps in corners, most of us are pet owners and we know the difference between a few days and weeks if not months of dirty dog hair.

My house is a bomb site right now - DH is working all hours to a big deadline and I literally can’t bend down as I’ve injured my back. Floor is gross as it needs vacuuming but I physically can’t do it. Maybe they’re having a bad week?

It wouldn’t put me off letting my child go there. Ds has a friend whose house is similar. Loads of clutter, not the cleanest, loads of pets. Friend and family are lovely though and that’s more important imo. You don’t have to be happy living like that yourself - each to their own.