to allow DS 11 to go to friends again?

[salterello1]

My DS (11) has made friends with someone in school and he went there for tea yesterday, his friends mum collected him from school and I collected my DS from the friends house later on.

I was a bit a bit shocked when I collected him at the state of the house. There was just stuff and clutter everywhere, it was dirty and looked like it hadn't been cleaned in a while.

Although I didn't venture in more than the hallway, I could see dirty plates piled up in the kitchen and a couple of dogs out the back, there was clumps of dog hair all up the stairs.

I could also see into one of the other down stairs rooms and there were piles of clothes and toys books and just general stuff everywhere - you could barely see the floor.

Mum seemed very nice, but I feel uncomfortable about my DS going into a house which was in this state. He wants to go there again this week AIBU to try and discourage it?

A lived in untidy house yes of course but not dirty where clumps of old dog hair can be found on the stairs. Just because there's clumps of dog hair on the stairs doesn't mean it's old dog hair. You could have hoovered half an hour ago and have clumps of new dog hair on the stairs.

@Oartistic once every couple of months that's rank🤮 I Hoover at least 3 times a week

Not a typo, Eve. I have a very full-time job (8-8ish) and teenage DC, and friends, and a non-live-in DP, and extended family who need caring for, and extra self-employed work after hours too. No, I don't hoover every day. It is normally done if someone I don't know well proposes to visit. In which case I clean the bathroom, too. I did have a cleaner when I wsas married and could afford it (now am not, and can't). But you're welcome to come and do my hoovering, if you have 15 minutes spare.

Jolly good, Berniee.

@Oartistic I'm sorry but Hoovering around the house can take a Matter of minutes anyone who says they don't have time is just lazy and unhygienic

Oh. In that case, I stand corrected, Berniee. Thank you for your kind remarks. Though I'm not quite sure how hoovering and hygiene are connected. I would be more concerned about the state of my kitchen sink and loo (which are both spotless, because I don't like germs).

@Oartistic you've said your house is a tip and you Hoover once every couple of months how isn't that unhygienic, everyone has time
The amount of time you've spent commenting on this post you could of ran round with the Hoover

'Could have', not 'could of', and 'run', not 'ran' @berniee

It has taken me about 5 minutes to post in total. It would take me longer to dislodge the Hoover from the cupboard. Other than that, I'd be more concerned about my grammar than about a few crumbs on the floorboards, if I were you.

Berniee not everyone is physically capable of hoovering.

I'd be intrigued to know how often you change your bedding, if you're getting the hoover so infrequently.

Out*

Me? Every other week when my boyfriend or DD are here to do it. I can’t do it myself.

More aimed at oar as she declared how little she hoovers. Just interested in how often people generally change their bedding when housework is such a low priority. I do mine weekly, love clean sheets!

Who the hell hoovers at 11 pm?

🤣

Do you not understand that for some people it’s a physical difficulty? I’m physically disabled, I couldn’t do it, and yet if you look at me I don’t come with a sign.

I’ll throw my hat in the ring to claim the house! Some days you could be describing it exactly, and some days it’s spotless. Depends what’s being going on!

I assume you are a non dog owner - I have 2 very hairy beasts and no matter how much I hoover there would be clumps of hair around at any given time, as it keeps falling out!

I would hope that anyone with a physical disability that struggles with every day tasks to maintain a hygienic and comfortable living space, has the help of friends or family members or community support to ensure that the environment they live in is clean and promotes good health.
Of course, I'm sure this isn't always the case.

How would you know when you look from my front door?

And to be honest, once you’re reliant on help, you have to take it where you get it from. My disability involves tasks that require strength in my arms and hands.

Your tone is sneery and disablist. Is there a specific reason for that?

Do you actually think the government are going to send someone round to do my hoovering for me?

Where have you actually been living? That level of support doesn’t exist. My cousin is in a wheelchair and she has to pay a carer to take her out if she needs something and we can’t. Her visits are minimal.

My house doesn’t get hoovered as often as some. I don’t care. I have learned not to care.

I am very fortunate to be as little disabled as I am. It’s going to get worse for me. Do you honestly think that sneering comments about support or judgemental fuckwits standing on my front step thinking I’m a splatters because of dishes in my sink are remotely peasant or in any way helpful?

I'm not sure what you're getting at... And I don't understand your first question.

I think you're clutching at straws by saying that I'm disablist when you have no knowledge of my own medical or physical health.

My opinion is that homes should be kept clean and hygienic. Also, that if you are unable to do this yourself, that I would hope there is a community around to support and assist.
And I like clean sheets.

*slattern

I'm sorry that you seem to believe that this thread is about you...I was originally answering a question that the OP put to the MN community. I have my own opinion as did others. Some similar to mine and some different.
Your house is your business as is mine. Our levels of ability may differ- or may be more similar than you think.

I'm aware that you have form with engaging people in arguments.

I'm off to swing the hoover round. Have a good day 😉

I hoover three times a day sweep in between still occasionally there will be a clump of hair on the floor , I have a husky/collie cross the hair is endless.

Eve, weekly bedding change. I love clean sheets. I suppose most people have bits they make a lot of effort with, and bits they couldn't care less about.