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Tonight's headline news - Asian gangs, So what next for these young girls? (Triggering)

129 replies

DeadLioness · 19/10/2018 19:24

Apologies, posting here for traffic. Don't think we need a link, it's right across the news tonight. What I'm wondering is what next for these poor girls? The judge said 'It is likely that many, if not all, of these girls will never recover from the abuse they suffered'. But the psychological damage is colossal. There should be compensation and a massive care package. How will they get past this? A prison sentence does nothing to stop flashbacks. I speak as someone similarly affected. I am waiting for my perpetrator's trial to start. I also don't believe I'll get over it. The very best psych help the Nhs has to offer is not enough. I guess I want to hear that they'll be ok, so I know I'll be ok. But I know that isn't the case. Those men should have had life without parole, all of them.

OP posts:

Dontfeellikeaskeleton · 20/10/2018 01:29

Asian males need re-educating in their attitude towards women. All women.

I fear that this may take a few years though. We do seem to be reverting back to the Middle Ages to be honest.


selfidentifyinggiraffe · 20/10/2018 01:31

It's about class. Do you really think would have been allowed to happen in a leafy middle class suburb?

Actually... Oxford?


Antigon · 20/10/2018 01:36


'the men groomed children from 11- to 15-years-old from dysfunctional backgrounds who were unlikely to be believed by others living in care homes'

There's a culture of disbelieving girls, especially from deprived backgrounds. That needs to change.


Antigon · 20/10/2018 01:37

^my post refers to the Oxford gang


selfidentifyinggiraffe · 20/10/2018 01:40

Yes it was girls who often lived in care homes/foster homes

But nice middle class Oxford with their bicycle riding tinkly laughing social workers... also let it happen there. And I can tell you, were not only turning a blind eye but fucking enabling it.

So yeah I agree with you on who it happened to... just not that middle class areas haven't also let it happen too.


Antigon · 20/10/2018 01:45

Selfidentity, point taken, it can happen anywhere.

Who enabled it? And why?


selfidentifyinggiraffe · 20/10/2018 01:52

Well my social worker decided the best place for me after abuse in a home and removing me as the victim instead of removing who I accused in the home... was the Nanford

At a time they already full well knew it was being used by a grooming gang

This is what they did with us. And what they thought of us.

Could also get in a car with an older male outside their offices... heck my older boyfriend abuser could pick me up and drive me to meetings there (he was white though)

In fact my older white boyfriend was allowed to take me for STD testing. Patted on the back for his responsible behaviour he was.

Never mind that I was underage.

And I was comparably extremely lucky with what I went through


Antigon · 20/10/2018 02:17

That's horrible, I'm so sorry.

The very people who were supposed to protect you let you down and were complicit in your abuse. I wonder how they would feel if it was their daughters.


selfidentifyinggiraffe · 20/10/2018 02:30

Yeah I do wonder sometimes and wonder also how she ever looked my parents in the face as I was far less safe under her actions than theirs.

However I think I was one of the luckier ones sadly

Fuck knows how I survived back then but I did bar one serious suicide attempt

@DeadLioness please don't think you cannot get through it and go on to live a happy life at some point in future. I did namechange and I'm also @Arghhhhhhhffs on this thread. Sammy inspires me everyday (don't know her personally just follow her on social media) and I think is an awesome example that your life is not over because of being a victim. You're also a survivor! She's inspired me to use my experience to encourage others and I also found doing the truth project very personally healing (google it if you haven't heard about it) it is part of the independent inquiry into safeguarding and I did it to be heard finally as I didn't want to go to court and also to help improve safeguarding in the future for children in care.


selfidentifyinggiraffe · 20/10/2018 02:47

I'm half asleep

Independent inquiry into CSE is what I meant!


selfidentifyinggiraffe · 20/10/2018 02:48


Will sleep now! 🙈


DeadLioness · 20/10/2018 06:53

It's about class. Do you really think would have been allowed to happen in a leafy middle class suburb? Actually yes. I came from an upper middle class background. The perpetrator was my father. And after I ran to the police & made a formal statement, they then questioned my father. I was actually told 'He promises he won't do it again now - so you can go back!!! - Yes, actually. My entire world shattered. I'm now fighting for justice a 2nd time. I was profoundly let down and there's no compensation, no curing my flashbacks, no help with work. I'm on my own, I lost my entire family over it. & He meanwhile, has had a long & happy life of freedom...

OP posts:

Yonijust · 20/10/2018 06:59

Flowers to all who are recovering Sad


goody2shooz · 20/10/2018 07:07

The ringleader was Sikh, not muslim. But anyone who rapes children, plies them with alcohol etc is not in any way religious - simply an evil being who should be exterminated.


LARLARLAND · 20/10/2018 07:19

I am so angry these girls were considered to have made a lifestyle choice.


Lethaldrizzle · 20/10/2018 07:24

Deadlioness - so sorry to hear that- I hope it works out this time round Flowers


BumbrainusMaximus · 20/10/2018 07:26

There are common threads here:
Racist and misogynist attitudes in some Asian communities leading to patterns of behaviour;
Total indifference on the part of police and other public services;
Lack of concern about what happens to the victims afterwards.
And what underlies all this? A society that does not care about or listen to girls and young women. Which is happy to place them in a box marked “dispensable object” and regard them as complicit in their own abuse.


Bouchie · 20/10/2018 07:33

About 85% of all paedophiles are white. But white people ( the majority of whom are men) act alone or in small groups with a particular interest such as very young boys or girls. Asian men make up 85% of paedophiles that do this type of grooming. where the victims tends to be young workclass vulnerable girls who are general 12 or older. Both are equally vile and the networks work in very different ways and this culture aspects are very significant. Very like the paedophiles wings operation around children's homes in the 70s and 80s which were almost all white men it is opportunity and the ignoring of voiceless people. I do believe there's definitely element of fear of being accused of being racist the authorities but the rubbish relations between the police and the Asian community meant that many would be afraid or reluctant to speak out. Soap the bottom line is that race isn't a determining Factor about whether or not you are a paedophile but it is a factor in how you go about being a paedophile.


Bouchie · 20/10/2018 07:36

wings = rings
soap = but!


newdaylight · 20/10/2018 08:11

There will also be a far larger number of girls who have been abused in the same area and their abuse will never get reported (even in the small proportion of cases where people are brought to justice for it) because of it being individual rather than group led.

I have a bit of a question. It's a hard question to ask. I'm a social worker. It's heartbreaking to hear of the times people doing a job like mine didn't listen or treated girls as though they were making a lifestyle choice. Admittedly I don't work in a specialist team addressing sexual exploitation so perhaps i would have some more ideas if i did. My question is what do we think could be done differently when social workers are responding well, because at the moment it's still extremely difficult to stop the abuse. It often takes a long time of close work with someone who doesn't want to work with them to get them to a point where they realise that what's going on is grooming and abusive. For some people it's hard to get to that point at all.

When that point is reached it is sometimes possible to make progress on a case being investigated so arrests are made etc. However what do people think could be done differently when people aren't yet at that point to try and protect them.and identify perpetrators? They cannot be locked in. If they are in care they can be moved but that is not found to be very effective and actually increased their vulnerability because any positive support networks they might have had are removed. They will not tell anyone who their "boyfriend" is and his friends. Everyone knows what is happening and they might even have a good idea who's involved and a couple of the key locations. Often they only know nicknames though. In that case, other than trying to give that girl as much support and nurture as possible to get them to that point I described above, what could be done differently.

As I said at the start, I'm very aware that in a lot of these cases practice was appalling and this contributed to it being allowed to continue. My worry is that even if practice is better now there's still real difficulties in protecting girls who have been groomed. I think greater policing resources would help but I imagine it would be very hard to reach the threshold of evidence needed for them to be able to track a suspect movements and build a picture of other men involved.


surferjet · 20/10/2018 08:22

I'm a social worker. It's heartbreaking to hear of the times people doing a job like mine didn't listen or treated girls as though they were making a lifestyle choice

These girls weren’t 21.
They were children, some as young as 11.
How can a child be making a lifestyle choice? Hmm


surferjet · 20/10/2018 08:23

And if social workers aren’t listening to these girls then god help us.


Lizzie48 · 20/10/2018 08:24

These gangs are always Asian . I can’t recall a white British male gang imprisoned in recent years for similar crimes . I do think these men see these girls as less worthy than the girls from their own culture.

No, they abuse their women, too. Think about child brides, FGM, honour killing (it's always women who supposedly bring shame on their community), rape within marriage. It's just that they don't need to trawl the streets for Asian victims and we don't hear about them unless they're tragically killed.

It's misogyny, pure and simple.


BumbrainusMaximus · 20/10/2018 08:29

I place the onus firmly on the police here.
I’m thinking of the farmer up on the moors ringing the police on several occasions when dumped terrified girls turned up on his door step.
They did nothing.
Time some lazy fat coppers got fired,


Lizzie48 · 20/10/2018 08:38

White men find their victims online or within their own families, DSis and I were in this position from being very young. My abusive F was part of a paedophile network.

And no, you don't get over it. I suffer from complex PTSD, can't cope with intimacy, and suffer from flashbacks. I've had therapy in the past and I'm waiting for EMDR therapy, which did help me get rid of the most distressing flashbacks.

DSis and I have managed to create lives for ourselves, with our own families, but my DB is damaged beyond repair.

No one was convicted in our case. One of those men was traced by the police, but there wasn't enough evidence for the CPS to prosecute him so long after the event. All the others, including my abusive F, we're dead. The only one who could have been prosecuted was my DB, who participated in the abuse. He was a victim, too, though, and is far too damaged.

But no conviction would ever undo what we went through. 

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