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To think DD11 should use sanitary products

191 replies

agirlhasnonameX · 19/10/2018 11:22

DD 11 started her period when she was 10 and was fantastic. Even had a phone call from her teacher during week they talked about periods at school to thank me and DD as she helped the teacher with discussions and was very well informed and open.
The last few months everything has changed. She hides blooded clothes in her room and won't talk about it at all and I try not to force her to.
She has her own products but last night when I found a hidden pair of PJ's told me she uses toilet paper and doesn't want to talk about it, except to say she hates towels and will never use tampons. Wasn't willing to hear my other suggestions.
Should I just let her be? My concern is that it could fall out and she'd be embarrassed. As far as I know it won't damage her to do this, although I don't think it's the most hygienic option.
She has lots of books and up until recently has handled it so well and openly.
Any thoughts?

OP posts:

Chalkhillblu3 · 20/10/2018 11:08

Oh god the period toilet. Schools can be so thoughtless and shite. When you go in any public toilet there are sanibins in every cubicle. That was why I said go for a scout round the toilets. Bad loos just make a hard situation so much worse. At school I used to flush the tampon, wipe the applicator with loo roll, and put it back in the little paper packet, twist the top, and dispose of it later. A bit bad for the environment but whatevs.


Chalkhillblu3 · 20/10/2018 11:13

OP I actually shed a few tears when you said about your heart to heart with her.


tabbycat1234 · 20/10/2018 12:03

Omg I really had thought I was the only one who couldn't talk to my mother about periods! All my friends mums seemed really ok with it. This post has been quite helpful to me in not feeling I was weird


carr1e1977 · 20/10/2018 12:47

To those who use the period pants; do you change them a couple of times a day? or should you have a day time pair and a night time pair. Will be costly I imagine, but I guess as long as they are looked after then will last?


CharlesChickens · 20/10/2018 14:15

I think with period pants it varies by brand. I was going to but Thinx, but since their ridiculous promotion called women and girls “bleeders” , I’m far less keen to give them my money.
11 seems very young to me for tampons? most of my friends waited until they were a bit bigger, around 14 . I tried them when my periods started, at 16, but there were no mini ones available then and they hurt too much. Now I think most brands do a mini size though, so perhaps they are easier for younger girls, although I think they don’t work well for a lighter flow.


Jellyjumpers · 20/10/2018 23:37

Pressures stars pads on utube may be interesting for your daughter. She has a career around reuseable menstral products and often talks about the best things for t teenagers and issues in schools.


agnurse · 21/10/2018 03:11

Tampons generally aren't recommended for young girls and she may find them very uncomfortable - the prepubescent vagina is very sensitive.

I'd recommend cloth pads or period pants.

Tampons should NEVER be flushed as they can block the loo. Nor should pads or wipes be flushed for the same reason.


agnurse · 21/10/2018 03:15

Also you can let her know that she may not be the only one that's got her period.

We have seen menarche in girls as young as 8. That's when DSD started. It's on the young side but she's tall and her mum started at 9 so I wasn't worried. She knew what it was as we had discussed it.


SheilaBruce · 21/10/2018 04:19

I don't really understand the idea behind all these re-usable items. Surely she'd have to wrap the products up and transport them back home?

@Agirl, does she have the individually wrapped disposable pads? Can you demonstrate the easiest way to remove it, wrap and dispose with minimal touching? I know you said it's a hard topic for her to engage in, so sorry if that suggestion makes you want to bang your head in exasperation.

I'd definitely try to make her aware of the embarrassment associated with leaking through a bit of scrunched up toilet paper, or it falling out. I wonder if it could somehow be approached as a third person type of thing? A story about someone else and what they did to overcome the problem?

Your poor DD, I bet she hardly concentrates when she's in the classroom and she's probably really reluctant to move around as well. Sad


GoldenMcOldie · 21/10/2018 07:51

@sheila it is so easy. My DD changes once during the school day. She pops the soiled reusable straight into a small sealed wash bag, into a pencil case which is in a side pouch of her school bag and then straight into the washer, when she gets home.

She just goes to the loo before break and takes her bag with her. Easy peasy.


tiredgirly · 21/10/2018 08:01

agnurse how can anyone be prepubescent if her periods have started?


tiredgirly · 21/10/2018 08:17

Blood has such a strong distinctive smell ,(all blood) I really think wearing these all day will make her smell. Ditto carting round used washable pads


GoldenMcOldie · 21/10/2018 08:30

Tired - there is no smell. The products we use are highly absorbent.

I get a little frustrated. I cannot understand why anybody would choose papery chemical filled products which end up in landfill. The alternative is natural, highly absorbent, soft products. Yes, the initial outlay is expensive, but so worth it.

I feel the same about nappies and wipes...

Horses for courses.


FrowningFlamingo · 21/10/2018 09:04

Other issues aside, I used tampons from my very first period as it started when I was staying with my Dad so I had to borrow from his partner and she didn't use pads. I found them fine to use and still prefer them.
(Those of you with shared care please make sure your DDs have sanitary products stored somewhere accessible when they're at their DDad's - I was mortified, not about telling my dad, but about his partner knowing, especially as we didn't get on)


WereWolfcub · 21/10/2018 09:09

Op just a thought but it may be about disposing of them. Toilet paper she can flush and no one will ever know she has her period. It could be that provisions for disposal of pads at school are either poor, public or just downright grim and that’s putting her off pads. Does she have her own bin in her room at home with bag so she can dispose discretely without you or another family member noticing or being involved?


Whatsallthisaboutthen · 24/10/2018 11:59

Just to clear up any confusion as I know there are different types, the Cheeky Wipes period pants I mentioned up thread are designed to be worn without pads, and don’t smell at all. They can also cope with (my!) heavy flow.

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