AIBU?
To think DD11 should use sanitary products
agirlhasnonameX · 19/10/2018 11:22
DD 11 started her period when she was 10 and was fantastic. Even had a phone call from her teacher during week they talked about periods at school to thank me and DD as she helped the teacher with discussions and was very well informed and open.
The last few months everything has changed. She hides blooded clothes in her room and won't talk about it at all and I try not to force her to.
She has her own products but last night when I found a hidden pair of PJ's told me she uses toilet paper and doesn't want to talk about it, except to say she hates towels and will never use tampons. Wasn't willing to hear my other suggestions.
Should I just let her be? My concern is that it could fall out and she'd be embarrassed. As far as I know it won't damage her to do this, although I don't think it's the most hygienic option.
She has lots of books and up until recently has handled it so well and openly.
Any thoughts?
bigKiteFlying · 19/10/2018 12:14
There a whole range of washable pads on Amazon - and the type of period pants to stop leeks.
There are ones you can use with nothing else - www.cheekywipes.com/cloth-sanitary-pad-kits/period-pants-4-layer.html - haven't bought them yet but intend to try and get some to give DD1 some more options.
Jent13c · 19/10/2018 12:16
Your poor little girl. I have always had horrible periods and leaked the whole time at school as my mum didn't think tampons were appropriate for someone my age. I hated the noise of the pads and having to hide them in my sock or up my jumper.
Just another thought, could she have irritated skin from the pads? I would have to buy the cottons brand to make it through the day or night with a pad on.
I have recently switched to the menstrual cup and it has changed my life. I went from having to change super tampons every 2 hours and leaking constantly with no warning to sometimes getting away with emptying the cup and morning and bedtime. It takes a bit of getting used to but the lunette website says they have 12 year old customers who love it. There is less risk of TSS than tampons.
TheShrieksShallInheritTheDeath · 19/10/2018 12:17
Can the period pant appreciators explain them a bit to me?
DD is 12.5 must be due to start soon and I thought I may buy her some. But how many do you need?
Don't you need 4 or 5 pairs per day? Then, because washing and drying takes time, a different 4-5 for the next day, i.e at least 10 pairs? At around £20 per pair that's looking a bit cost prohibitive.
Any advice on their use appreciated!
RiverTam · 19/10/2018 12:19
there's also the issue with getting the pad, tampon, whatever, out of your bag and up your sleeve without anyone seeing. This is all deeply embarrassing for young girls, hell, I find it embarrassing as an adult with a young chap sat the desk next to me. Far easier to just use loo roll.
The TSS thing, I wonder if someone has been overstating this and it's frightened her. Have you checked out what she's looking at online?
agirlhasnonameX · 19/10/2018 12:22
Was wondering that too about period pants- if they needed changed throughout the day.
Won't mind cost as long as they work for her but carrying pants may be worse than carrying pads if this is the issue?
I think she thinks they are like nappies so will show her them and see what she says but have a feeling it will still be "don't want to talk about it" so might just get them and leave in her room like someone said- thanks for that.
I'm a little apprehensive about mentioning to her that I could speak to school, I think she'd hate this and feeling a bit on egg shells as I don't want her to shut down even more.
And no I haven't name changed for this?
TakeMeToKernow · 19/10/2018 12:22
Echoing exactly what Shrieks said!
Would appreciate people’s experiences, good or bad. Does one pair last all day? Are they noticeably thick? Do they need special washing? Are some better than others? And yeah - is it possible to get a weeks supply for a fast growing tween for less than £100?
Antigon · 19/10/2018 12:23
What about Yoni organic cotton tampons, pads and panty liners?
www.contentbeautywellbeing.com/products/yoni-organic-tampons?variant=25110387015
From : "Mariah's company Yoni sells organic cotton tampons, pads and panty liners. However, that's not what she set out to do at all, it was not her big dream. Instead of focusing on what life throws at us we should focus on how we choose to deal with life's challenges."
AmericanEskimoDoge · 19/10/2018 12:24
I remember reading about TSS for the first time in the warning info in a pack of tampons, not long after my period started. Honestly, it terrified me and made me reluctant to even consider using them. (I was am a bit of a hypochondriac, unfortunately...)
Since she's mentioned TSS specifically, it might help to give her some information about how very rare that is-- especially if she's careful to change the pads within the recommended time frame. (Also, I think TSS is much more associated with tampons.)
However, if she's shutting down all conversation on the topic, it might be difficult to get the point across.
mightn't period pants be quite awkward if you have to change them throughout the day? If you have trousers or tights on you'd have to take the whole lot off to change your pants?agirlhasnonameX · 19/10/2018 12:28
Maybe for a lighter flow period pants would work? She doesn't always have light flow though.
R.E TSS she read it in a book and they also talked about it at school. At the time I told her it was very rare and if she changed regularly wouldn't need to worry about it, but think it scared her. It scared me too and put me off so can understand her thinking tbf but I have a suspicion it's more about her being uncomfortable with using anything she has to insert.
WrongKindOfFace · 19/10/2018 12:29
The reason I asked about the name change was that there has been an explosion of weirdos who join up just to ask questions about young girls and periods or young girls going to the loo/wetting themselves.
Shame there isn’t a non weirdo test to pass first!
Obviously I’m not suggesting this op is a weirdo.
kateandme · 19/10/2018 12:32
Is she Worried about getting rid of them. have you heard of the product called fablittlebag they're quite new and basically they just a little packet that have been designed especially to put used pads and tampons in .look them up there really quite cool and excellent for being discreet especially if she's places she can't ready to get rid of it or doesn't want to be seen getting rid of it she can put it in there slip it in until she can find somewhere to dispose of it
isitthehormones · 19/10/2018 12:35
Do you think maybe she’s finding her current ones uncomfortable? I started to really react to my usual ones and so started using the pink Always ones, I think the range is called sensitive and maybe a bit TMI but they feel brilliant.
Also just a thought, for school or when out could she have a small purse / makeup bag type thing in her bag. I always found it awkward at school in case I accidentally pulled one out with a book etc.
Also again... boys! Could one have made a comment and it’s really got to her? I know girls can be really nasty but I can’t imagine they’d be cruel about periods as they are in the same position.
EduCated · 19/10/2018 12:36
I also wonder what the toilets and disposal are like at school, and how she gets a pad to the toilet (does she have to collect from her bag?). The thing with toilet roll is that it’s easily accessible and she can flush it away, so she doesn’t really have to do anything ‘extra’
agirlhasnonameX · 19/10/2018 12:41
@WrongKindOfFace that's ill I had no idea sorry  I did name change last week or something but not because of this- I was XscoutX before then if that helps me pass the weirdo test. Disturbing.
I'm writing a list of all these ideas and will try talking to her or maybe send her links if she doesn't want to speak to me about it directly. Hard to find a balance between her feeling as if I'm being intrusive and trying to support and advise her, but think if she's just left to it it will ultimately end in her being humiliated in a far worse way than having to talk with me about it.
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/10/2018 12:43
Poor girl. She is going to be very embarrassed if she starts bleeding through her clothes.
Seriously, what's the difference between a wad of toilet tissue and a pad?
I think @EduCated might have hit the nail on the head. I'd forgotten how awkward to change pads/tampons etc at school without everyone knowing.
Hope you can reach a happy conclusion!
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