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To think DD11 should use sanitary products

191 replies

agirlhasnonameX · 19/10/2018 11:22

DD 11 started her period when she was 10 and was fantastic. Even had a phone call from her teacher during week they talked about periods at school to thank me and DD as she helped the teacher with discussions and was very well informed and open.
The last few months everything has changed. She hides blooded clothes in her room and won't talk about it at all and I try not to force her to.
She has her own products but last night when I found a hidden pair of PJ's told me she uses toilet paper and doesn't want to talk about it, except to say she hates towels and will never use tampons. Wasn't willing to hear my other suggestions.
Should I just let her be? My concern is that it could fall out and she'd be embarrassed. As far as I know it won't damage her to do this, although I don't think it's the most hygienic option.
She has lots of books and up until recently has handled it so well and openly.
Any thoughts?

OP posts:

PartridgeJoan · 19/10/2018 13:18

You can get nice little tins to keep your pads in if discretion is an issue. Also you can buy little scented sanitary disposable bags which helped me out at times when I was out and there was no bin!


agirlhasnonameX · 19/10/2018 13:18

@Tinty she is not in secondary she's primary 7 but thank you.

OP posts:

PartridgeJoan · 19/10/2018 13:23

I also distinctly remember being over the moon when my new school blazer had a hidden pocket in it - perfect for hiding a pad if you don't want everyone to see you getting it out of your bag!


MovingThisYearHopefully · 19/10/2018 13:25

Both my DD have ASD & refuse to change pads at school, choosing to wear night time pads with wings all day instead. The youngest had horrendously heavy, painful periods. The only thing that helped her was to go on the pill. Bingo! No more periods! I really wrestled with this with her being so young, but wish she'd gone on it sooner as its been truly life changing! Nobody likes the idea of their little ones being on the pill, but for some kids, where the quality of life is so severely affected it is a life changer & benefits far outweigh the risks!


cansu · 19/10/2018 13:27

Perhaps someone has made a comment but regardless she needs to choose something appropriate. You will need to speak to her and insist that she uses something that will be hygienic. Toilet paper is not going to be sufficient.


bellinisurge · 19/10/2018 13:27

Reusable pads which she can custom design to her situation and preferences. Or period pants.


Crackedvase · 19/10/2018 13:28

My 11 yo has just started too.
I LOVE pp advice re: variety and huge toblerone!

My girl is coping well. She has a huge collection of every shape and size including pantie liners for light days.
We bought nice, dark colored undies.
She has her own bathroom so has a bin, and a lidded pail to soak any stained jammie bottoms etc
The bodyform, and always infinity suit her best when at school.
She loves the little metal tins that hold two pads, slips it in her blazer pocket.

She keeps a small make up bag in her school bag, containing pads and two new pairs of knickers- just in case. Plus, her mates know she has them and I know she has helped if someone needs a pad etc.

My husband always keeps chocolate in his car and dishes it out to our teens Smile, its a running joke in our house that he likes to keep us happy during shark week!

Your wee girl sounds like she just needs some confidence, I hope she isn't being teased about it.
I love the period pant idea, had to Google it. How fantastic x


BrendasUmbrella · 19/10/2018 13:36

A mooncup at 11?! I wouldn't even bother mentioning it. I found the smaller size physically uncomfortable at 38. If she doesn't want to try tampons, a mooncup is a non-starter.

I'd just buy a plain pair of period pants and see what she thinks.


Tinty · 19/10/2018 13:38

OP Sorry I was confused because my dd was in year 7 at secondary.
So she is in the same school? That is really odd then I think she must have been teased about having periods. It is so unfair for her.

Do you think she is worrying about going through puberty because she is just a little girl really? I think you have to reiterate that periods and other changes are just natures way of preparing us for being adults but that she is just a little girl and will be for a long long time yet. Yes she has to deal properly with periods but that doesn't mean she is grown up and has to stop doing all the things that she likes as a child. She may feel the pressure to act more grown up because of her periods.


ToadOfSadness · 19/10/2018 13:39

A warning to anyone with sight issues wanting to use the Modibodi website, it is awful, there are things scrolling all over the place. A real mess, had to close the page.


agirlhasnonameX · 19/10/2018 13:39

She is at volleyball today so will have a little chat with her when she gets home (school holidays here) and have links ready to show her or if she insists on not talking- to send her.
Thank you all so so much for the great advice, wish I could show her some of these comments so she knows she's not alone (of course I won't) but hopefully things will get better and we can find a solution that works for her and that I can get to the bottom of it.

OP posts:

agirlhasnonameX · 19/10/2018 13:44

I think possibly it was a bit of a novelty when she first started and now that's it's hit her she's upset about it. She really is just a little girl and has said to me at other times she doesn't want to grow up. Before her birthday she was upset because she didn't want to turn 11.
That's a good point about trying to explain that just because she has a period doesn't mean she's not a kid and doesn't have to grow up because of it.

OP posts:

TattiePants · 19/10/2018 13:45

Tinty I assume OP is in Scotland as she said DD was in P7.


bigKiteFlying · 19/10/2018 13:49

We have a bin in bathroom - as for years I didn't at home and disposal was a huge nightmare as going for rubbish bags meant loads of questions from my Dad but trying to store and dispose discreetly also didn't go down well if found.

Also have one in DDs bedrooms which she can empty as she wants.

She had small bag with change of pants, tights and pads since she was around 10 - just in case of accidents and to be discreet.

DD1 was older but suddenly started to want to use washing machine - which was fine with me - clearly leaks and unexpected starts but she didn't want to talk about it so let her use it as she wanted making sure she knew she could talk to me and had no questions.

Knowing she could throw things in washing machine with no questions seemed to make her very happy.


Jenny17 · 19/10/2018 13:49

Perhaps she thinks they are too bulky or showing?


Fink · 19/10/2018 13:55

Also have [a bin] in DDs bedrooms which she can empty as she wants

Not on topic, but this reminds me of a recent conversation with my DD (8) when I complained about her bedroom bin being overflowing - she explained, matter of factly, that the binmen hadn't been! She genuinely hadn't realised, until then, that I or another adult in the house had been emptying her bin into the main bin, she thought the binmen came in your house and did all the bins. Grin

Other than that, I'm just placemarking so I can read later because it looks like DD will be starting soon and I only use a cup so I was looking for advice on what's best san pro for kids.


bigKiteFlying · 19/10/2018 13:58

@period pants' are not worn with no san pro- they are meant to be worn with pads- says so on the label!

There are two types - ones that stop leaks meant to be used with pads – so used over night or with really heavy flows or just to give confidence.

Other type available from only a few manufactures - which can be used without dependent on flow light to medium. There's even a swim suit that designed to be used without any - but it's over £100 so I have no idea how good or not in might be.


Feefeetrixabelle · 19/10/2018 14:00

I had a couple of students refusing to wear sanitary pads because they were gross. Turns out their mums were buying them the fancy scented ones and it was irritating them. It could be that if she’s had scented ones she has become irritated same with wings sometimes they can scratch.


tiredgirly · 19/10/2018 14:04

Just googled period pants.

How will she manage at school with ? She will smell if she wears the same pair all day and how is she supposed to manage changing them and coping with the used ones at school


Rixera · 19/10/2018 14:05

Without wanting to be unnecessarily upsetting, have you considered the possibility of abuse? Huge behaviour changes esp around personal care is a red flag. Maybe bullying etc, but maybe something worth being aware of.


Labradoodliedoodoo · 19/10/2018 14:08

Yes eco products will avoid the TSS worry


crimsonlake · 19/10/2018 14:09

I think it may be the result of her taking an active role in the chat in school about periods. Which I think was quite unusual in itself as it is something you tend to keep private and probably shocked the others. As she was so open her class will know she has periods which I imagine has led to the teasing. It sounds as if she is in some kind of denial now. and does not want to deal with. It will settle down once other girls start, however this is of no help now.


Chipsahoy · 19/10/2018 14:12

I would echo rixera.
When I was abused is when I started leaking through pads cos I didn't bother changing them if I bothered to wear them at all. I just didn't care. I didn't want to think about my body, especially there because I was in absolute denial of what was happening to me. Periods reminded me, so I just pretended that it wasn't happening.

Probably unlikely, but worth considering if it's at all possible.
Hopefully not and presumably it's more of a pre teen thing. Self conscious and perhaps a bit in denial or even mad that she has to keep doing this every month. Like you said op, perhaps it was novelty and now it's worn off. A bit like a kids first day at school, they go in all happy, but by day three they realise this is it now, every day, so they don't want to go anymore.


Ffiffime · 19/10/2018 14:12

I used to be like this too!
My mother would never just buy me any sanitary products.
I’d have to ask for them and I was just so embarrassed.
I used to hide my bloody knickers and use toilet paper.

I started my periods at 12, think I was about 16 when I started to buy my own.
It seems so silly looking back, but I was so so embarrassed.


StarUtopia · 19/10/2018 14:13

I started aged just 11. I was terrified. Back then I had zero choice (mid 80.s) and had to wear huge pads. Excruitiating going to the toilet - the sound of the pad being opened etc.

Someone has definitely said something. She cannot just use tissue. You need a bit of tough love. Buy the period pants - get black and tell her the dickheads who have been nasty to her will have a field day if she bleeds through her uniform. Knickers mean NO ONE needs to know anything.

I would have thought I had died and gone to heaven if I'd have been offered knickers that just sorted the problem!

Will definitely be cause she's been so open. Once other girls have started too it will be a non issue. But right now, she's the target. poor girl. Kids are horrible.

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