To think FFS at school teacher....

[Stanmorevisit]

Background: DD (secondary) in hospital for 2 weeks planned admission solid therapy to help fix an ongoing problem that school know about and she has soldiered through
Despite a lot of pain in school . She's doing hospital school whilst she's here. The hospital is nearly 3 hours from home, I have another child with SN so logistically its a nightmare and I've been splitting myself in two. family have visited when i cant. Except tonight when I actually made it in overnight, she has/Will be staying in on her own and done most of the therapy solo. She's also also going to be going back to school with a few day to day adaptations that will make her life easier but will be different. It will be hard as a cool preteen. She's in a metric ton of pain from strengthening muscles that haven't worked properly in along time and it won't be any easier next week. She's also essentially missing half term.

I get to (hospital ward) bed tonight to find one of her teachers has emailed me to say as DD has missed an test due to her injury, would I mind if she repeated the assessment on the first day back!!! They appreciate my support for her education!!!

End result is I'm up trying to write a polite reply when all I want to say is on what fucking planet are you on. I don't need to be dealing with this now and there us no way a full scale test should be happening DD's first day back at school after a major hospital admission.

AIBU to think you must be an absolute fuckwit to think that is ok.

CraftyGin
I agree.
Teacher picks email up on Friday morning and might actually be teaching for the day. A same day response is a ridiculous expectation.

Equally, it might be that the teacher has picked the email up, used their break to chat to their HOD about the situation, then had to try to use their lunch to find the SENDCo about the new arrangements but the SENDCo was busy so they can't get the required information.

When people get irritated that they don't get quick email replies I find myself wondering what on earth they think school staff do all day.

"Thank you for your email and looking into/seeking advice how best to proceed" is a good acknowledgement whilst giving you space to seek advice if needed. Takes two seconds.

As it happens in this case even that would be overkill somewhat. Thats fine we'll liaise on DD's return would also have been fine.

The Senco isn't thus far involved. DD has been given what she needs so school don't need to procure and everything so far has been managed at tutor level. Dd knows what needs to be done it will be up her to do it. Thats why waiting to see how she finds the first few days back is so important. If it all goes tits up I'll be talking to the Senco anyway

"Thank you for your email and looking into/seeking advice how best to proceed" is a good acknowledgement whilst giving you space to seek advice if needed. Takes two seconds.
It's all well and good saying replying to you takes 2 seconds so you should have a same day response.
But then add all the emails staff get during a day (colleagues, parents, requests for SEND information for EHCP reviews etc) & suddenly these '2 second jobs which aren't actually 2 seconds' add up.
Then consider members of staff like heads of team and heads of year who get 10-15 emails a day from parents alone. And the phone calls wanting call backs. And the emails from the office giving staff a heads up that Mrs Blogs has called for a 3rd time because she called at 9am and at 12:30 she hasn't been called yet.

What part of the school day would you like to lose in order to get your couple of hours response?

I don't know if the teacher knows I feel the test would be entirely inappropriate.

Didn’t you say that in your email?

Teacher says ‘can DC do a test?’ Parent replies ‘not good first day back’, surely that’s sorted for now? The teacher can discuss it with the child after half term? I don’t understand the expectation that the teacher now liaises with the SENDCo and becomes pen pals with the parent.

I think you need to bear in mind I didn't instigate this communication, the teacher did, and the matter has its own integral deadline.

If I had a problem, the methods I used for communication are generally slightly different. School have allocated communication officers specifically there to allievate communication demands on teachers. I can email a tutor but I wouldn't expect a reply outside of tutor time. School encourage direct contact with teachers. But I can think of very few cases where I would take that up over other available communication outlets.

It's easy to forget I too will be fielding communication left right and centre. Whilst dealing with DD in hospital I have been sorting out repeats on two sets of medicines that are restricted in who can prescribe and didn't go through first time, one enquiry from school saying they have only one day of Ds's medicine please can I send more in, arguing with GP cos they have forgotten DS' right to flu jab. Communicating with Senco cos a few physical issues have come up with DS, calling and messaging my DD when with DS and DS when with DD. Plus anything that else comes up and the baseline arrangements to make the week work . Thats with me trying to have cleared the decks the the week or two before (Not entirely successfully as I was working with school to clear up a major bullying incident involving both kids in the week before DD admission and the week before that DS semi collapsed at school for the first time since starting secondary).

I don't generally expect a reply within a time frames. But in this case, where communication wasn't even initiated by me even just an aknowledgement wouldn't have gone amiss

@@noblegiraffe

Of course but I have no idea if their the teacher has actually got the email

But you replied to their email so why would they not have received it?

School have allocated communication officers specifically there to allievate communication demands on teachers.
They've not existed in any school I've worked in. We have receptionists on the main reception and someone in the pastoral office who picks up attendance and mass letters etc. I've never heard of someone being paid to essentially PA for teachers (especially when most things going to teachers require actual input from the individual teacher).
It's easy to forget I too will be fielding communication left right and centre
With the best will in the world a parent dealing with relevant people regarding their child is a totally different situation.

Teachers spend the bulk of their time teaching, not dealing with emails in a matter of hours because parents think they should (especially when the reason now for the quick turn around now seems to be "well they emailed me first")

Op, the thing is, like it or not, your dd need her/his help.It just makes life so much easier if you think of her/him as positive way.

Teachers are your ally who help you to help your children. More you trust them and respect them, they do the same to you. They are human. As well as you can lose patience and be in conciderate, sometimes, they can too. I never really had bad relationship with any teachers, and I think it's because I don't tend to show any disrespect.

irvineoneohone
Agreed.
I'm yet to have had a bad relationship with a parent who was reasonable and polite.

All the rough relationships or situations I've had with parents have been where they've been totally rude and unreasonable. Interestingly, I have a reputation at school for having good relationship with parents who are known to be difficult as well (but again that's because they've been reasonable and polite or realised that being rude/unreasonable doesn't get them anywhere)

I think people need to realise that an average secondary teacher will teach between 250 and 500 students (possibly more) a year. The teaching is the main focus and has to be.
It can be easy with any line of work to decide 'do x for me and replying to me is only a quick job' but when you start to multiply and think 'what if there were 10 people who...' then you see why the single request is unreasonable.

I wouldn't be expecting same day replies on emails in the vast majority do situations

MaisyPops without being outing there's a communications manager, whose there specifically to field parents enquiries. six pastoral leads with limited if any teaching responsibility. And the tutor. Stuff goes wrong but thats inevitable. I don't generally need to contact a teacher directly for anything! that was why I was surprised to have received the email in the first place.

If you read my posts I think I've made it clear that regardless of my rant in here maintaining positive relationships with the school is to me important. That doesn't mean you don't point out and deal with an issue if one arises.

Stanmorevisit
A communications person is a new one on me then.Non teaching pastoral staff is fairly standard.
Anything linked to a specific subject would have to go to the teacher anyway. It was probably quicker for the teacher to see a potential issue and contact you direvtly rather than speak to someone else to give them the info for them to send it out. Or the teacher was contacting you to ask about something having been asked by their own managers to do something and having a parental email saying 'this isn't appropriate' could give them what they need to go to their HOD. Any number of reasons.

I know you've said you keep positive relationships and I've backed you on telling the school why the assessment wouldn't be appropriate.
I still think being irritated that you've not had a same day reply to an email is unreasonable though.

You may not be off with staff bit ask most teachers and they'll have tales of 'I didn't reply back within 3 hours so mum reported me to the head' / 'parent was an arse to me because it took me more than a day to gather the facts I needed to answer their question'.
Generally I'd say 2-3 working days is a reasonable reply frame.

Saying I'm surprised and a little I haven't had a reply on an anonymous internet forum is very different than reporting a non response to a head

Seriously this is about the least dramatic thing in my life. Don't give it more drama than its worth

A communications manager seems a bit weird in times of stretched budgets.

I any school I’ve worked in, the form tutor or subject Teacher is the first port of call.

If this teacher were to go through the communications manager giving the heads up on a test, it wouldn’t have saved any time for her.

The picture I am getting of this school is that front line teachers are being kept out of the loop due to an army of barely teaching staff. I would not be surprised if she did not know why your DD was off school and of her disabilities.

Regarding Teacher priorities...

My number one priority in my ‘free time’ is to make sure my lessons are planned and prepped (science).

After that, I deal with pastoral issues in school, then respond to emails requiring information that originate in school.

Beyond that, I will respond to benign parent emails within 24 hours and tetchy ones within 48 hours. The reason for the difference is that a cooling off period is beneficial on both sides. If I feel that the tetchy email needs a more immediate response, I’d discuss it with or pass it onto the Headmistress.

After that, I deal with housepoints and sanctions (before I forget).

Lastly, marking.

Oh good grief really?!?!

I think the thread really probably run its useful limits....

Stanmorevisit
Of course saying you're surprised you haven't had a reply is different from going to the head.
Both demonstrate a belief that staff should be replying on the same day as a matter of course.

It wouldn't cross my mind to expect a same day reply to an email because common sense says that whoever I'm emailing has a job beyond replying to emails.

Yeah they probably should if they initiate the contact and they set a deadline that results in the need for a same day response!!!

Did it require a response? She asked if DD could do the test. You said no. Why keep the dialogue going?

Yeah they probably should if they initiate the contact and they set a deadline that results in the need for a same day response!!!

seriously this is about the least dramatic thing in my life. Don't give it more drama than its worth

You're right, it isn't at all a dramatic thing; you're making it into one though!

They asked you a reasonable question.

You replied and could have replied any time between their email and (I'm guessing due to your reference to half term) the following week when school resumes.
That's over a week of time for you to reply expressing your thoughts. They could pick it up on the first day back and go "ok actually this student can't do an assessment".

I'm not seeing how they've given you a same day deadline.
I'm certainly not seeing why they should have replied to your reply within the same day.

The very fact you expect a same day reply is what's unreasonable.

I’m a core subject secondary teacher OP and I can see how an email like that is (one of) the last straws. I can also see the thanks for the ‘ongoing support’ comes over as PA.
I can see me doing something similar though. I teach over 150 children plus my form and at least 10 of those children have medical issues-a few have progressive, rare conditions that require regular hospitalisation. I’d email to check what was best in terms of assessment; I’d not want a child to fall behind unneccessarily, nor would I want it all to be too much on a first day back. I’d be really upset if my actions had unintentionally caused additional stress to a family. My DH is terminally ill and my DS2 has ASD... I’m no stranger to the occasional annoying contact from school at the worst times!
I hope she is able to return to school as comfortably as possible.

Thanks OneOfTheGrundys appreciate the thoughts. I am sorry to hear about your DH

Schools are required by law to make reasonable adjustments in special circumstances. Get in contact with the headteacher. Otherwise the teacher won't understand the seriousness of the pressure they are putting on your DD