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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think FFS at school teacher....

250 replies

Stanmorevisit · 18/10/2018 23:44

Background: DD (secondary) in hospital for 2 weeks planned admission solid therapy to help fix an ongoing problem that school know about and she has soldiered through
Despite a lot of pain in school . She's doing hospital school whilst she's here. The hospital is nearly 3 hours from home, I have another child with SN so logistically its a nightmare and I've been splitting myself in two. family have visited when i cant. Except tonight when I actually made it in overnight, she has/Will be staying in on her own and done most of the therapy solo. She's also also going to be going back to school with a few day to day adaptations that will make her life easier but will be different. It will be hard as a cool preteen. She's in a metric ton of pain from strengthening muscles that haven't worked properly in along time and it won't be any easier next week. She's also essentially missing half term.

I get to (hospital ward) bed tonight to find one of her teachers has emailed me to say as DD has missed an test due to her injury, would I mind if she repeated the assessment on the first day back!!! They appreciate my support for her education!!!

End result is I'm up trying to write a polite reply when all I want to say is on what fucking planet are you on. I don't need to be dealing with this now and there us no way a full scale test should be happening DD's first day back at school after a major hospital admission.

AIBU to think you must be an absolute fuckwit to think that is ok.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 20/10/2018 09:11

As a maths teacher, we test pretty regularly. It’s entirely conceivable that the test was done in the last lesson before the end of term and that the teacher will be going through the test in the first lesson back. It would cause problems to have a student in the lesson who hasn’t done the test, especially if they were then to do the test at another time - they’d then have all the answers. The ideal solution to that problem would be for that student to be taken out of the lesson to do the test. Then we’d have a score for them, they wouldn’t have to sit the test in another lesson when new content is being taught, and we wouldn’t have to figure out what to do with them in the lesson where we are going through the test.

No it’s not ideal for the student in terms of test results, but we would put a note on the system saying they’d taken it late, and wouldn’t move a kid down sets for doing poorly.

Thisreallyisafarce · 20/10/2018 09:28

Stanmorevisit

I have read everything you have said. I don't agree with you, at least not entirely.

zzzzz · 20/10/2018 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thisreallyisafarce · 20/10/2018 09:35

Stanmorevisit

But, as you have now clarified that they spent a week revising for the test, it is fair enough that she gets the same time. I just don't agree that it is ALWAYS inappropriate.

I also don't think you need to be quite so sarky.

OVienna · 20/10/2018 09:44

I have read about half this thread. I am outraged that the people seriously think the teacher should be given a free pass 'because she might not have known' the circumstances of the OPs DDs treatment before emailing. Make it your business to find out then, before suggesting a test the first day back! If she's bothering to reach out to the parents with plans for work, common sense would suggest she should find out whether what she is proposing is realistic.

Original poster
Stanmorevisit · 20/10/2018 10:13

Thisreallyisafarce
I shall exercise my sark on any teacher that puts its convenient to me for a child to sit a test at a certain time regardless of a childs wellbeing above this is the time I will get the best out out a child on this test

@Aragog couldn't agree more

@SofiaAmes we do have a very similar in the uk. DS has quite a substantial one (he sounds like a similar but possibly milder version of your son) it works really well. But you have to prove the intervention needed is beyond what the school can provide. We have now got the underlying diagnosis that links everything together so I have slowly been gathering the evidence
To apply for DD if needed. but in DDs case the long term intervention, especially if we can get her back to fitness and get the current adaptions working, should be well within what the school can provide day to day. Its just she probably needs fast tracked into physio if she ever sustains injury.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stanmorevisit · 20/10/2018 10:15

@OVienna

Yeah had the email been worded more would it been worded along those lines I wouldn't have been at all FFS

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 20/10/2018 10:26

zzzzz the kid has been off school. They’re going to have missed work. They’ll have questions from the other kids about their absence.

That’s something that can only be truly remedied by every kid being in school every day and not missing anything. Anything else is going to be less than ideal, but that’s how it goes.

scaryteacher · 20/10/2018 10:54

OVienna Teachers are not allowed to know the information. I've had times I've needed to know something about a student, enquired if I could have the information, and been told that I couldn't, and that I didn't need to know. That ties your hands a bit!!

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 20/10/2018 10:55

Even if the Teacher didn't know the full circumstances, I'm struggling to imagine how a test that a child hasn't had time to prepare for could ever be a good idea?

Really going to show Ofsted your outstanding teaching isn't it?

I hope your DD makes good progress OP

Thisreallyisafarce · 20/10/2018 11:29

I've really got nothing to say to that, OP. I'll spend my time amongst people who are happy to engage in civil discussion, rather than sarcasm and rudeness, I think.

Peaseblossom22 · 20/10/2018 11:41

If the teacher had not put a sarky comment on the end of the email about ‘supporting you daughters education’ , the OP might not have been as irritated as she was.

Thisreallyisafarce · 20/10/2018 11:56

Peaseblossom22

If that is a reply to my comment, then fine, but it doesn't explain why the OP is being sarcastic to me, just for disagreeing with her. Plain rude.

Peaseblossom22 · 20/10/2018 12:56

Not particular to your comment just generally. It just changes the tone of the email from a polite request to giving the impression that you are in some way not supportive . It’s particulatly inappropriate to make such a comment if you aware that you may not have the full facts

Thisreallyisafarce · 20/10/2018 13:00

Peaseblossom22

I dont understand. Didn't the email say thank you for your support? How does that imply the opposite?

Peaseblossom22 · 20/10/2018 13:14

I read that as very passive aggressive , whafvyhey are saying is if you don’t say yes to this you are not being supportive . surely it’s s given that a parent with a child in hospital is supportive .

Frankly it’s a phrase which is there to make the parent feel bad

Thisreallyisafarce · 20/10/2018 13:19

Peaseblossom22

Not when I use it, it's not. That is a bit paranoid, really. The teacher probably just meant thanks for your support.

Peaseblossom22 · 20/10/2018 13:26

What support ? What he means is ‘thank you for your support in making your child do this test ‘ . It’s rude and patronising.

Thisreallyisafarce · 20/10/2018 13:28

Peaseblossom22

Yes, that is probably what the teacher meant. It's possibly patronising, but there is no reason to think it isn't genuine.

user789653241 · 20/10/2018 13:36

I don't really see the sarcasm in teacher's comment. It was simple, she asked if she can take the test or not, not knowing all her circumstances. Simple reply to the teacher to say "No, because ...." was enough.
If the teacher didn't care, she could have just let her sit the test on her return. She didn't.

Aragog · 20/10/2018 13:50

If it's just a regular test and the result will have a comment next to it and not be used to affect any setting, etc. and the teacher doesn't expect them to achieve well in the circumstances / well, what's the point in even doing it? It becomes a tick box exercise.

In that situation the student would be better being given the paper and sitting in the 'going through it' lesson and making notes, and having some time at home to read read it and have a go at informally answering the questions as a homework task.

If they do it and score bad, they lose out especially confidence wise, at an already vulnerable time.

And they also miss the valuable 'going through it' lesson - which actually if they've missed some of the school time would probably be really useful to her. More useful than sitting the actual test infact.

So maybe the best thing to do is just not bother with her doing the test at all.

Thisreallyisafarce · 20/10/2018 14:00

Aragog

Teachers don't generally set the school assessment policy. It isn't (usually) up to the teacher when/whether the child is tested.

Aragog · 20/10/2018 14:21

Thisreallyisafarce

As a teacher I would have spoken to management myself about it and explain why it would be a pointless exercise. I wouldn't just set a test for an ill student on their first day back without questioning why it was really necessary, without explaining to management why I felt it would be a pointless exercise and of no benefit to either myself as a teacher or, more importantly, the child.

zzzzz · 20/10/2018 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user789653241 · 20/10/2018 14:40

zzzzz, I do get what you are saying, but it really depend on a child's condition that teachers may not know.
My ds was once off school for 2 weeks, a week in hospital, a week at home recovering with advice from doctors. He was totally capable of doing work at home, if he needed to.
If you have to take time off school often, it's way better to have good relationship with teachers. So take comments in a positive way is better than getting stressed with it, assuming the teacher had mal intentions.