To be judgy about screens at the table?

[PiperPublickOccurrences]

We're currently on holiday. Large family friendly resort, mix of families, couples, older people. Big, buffet style restaurant. Very relaxed vibe.

At dinner there was a large extended family at the next table, 5 adults and 4 preschool children. Every child had a phone or a tablet propped in front of them. None of the adults spoke to the children - including the baby who was at a push 8 months old. Children had plates of food put in front of them without a word and didn't take their eyes off the screen.

Aibu to find this all a bit depressing? I can just about understand using screens when it's absolutely essential that kids are quiet. But the restaurant is very informal with lots of kids around.

I don’t think taking 2 mins to post on here is quite the same as not looking up from a device for an entire meal.
I think your post has hit a nerve with a few on here op.

Yes there is a rather vitriolic level of defensiveness.

We have no screens at home, not even a tv. However, on holiday we had a kindle with a film on for the plane and the evening meal, as by then we had all spent 13 hours together, including a screen free lunch, interacting and dh & I fancied a chat. But judge away op. You know absolutely fuck all
about those families. You should wind your neck in. It's not your business.

Yes don’t judge op. When you are a 9 month old baby with a screen propped in front of them for an entire meal they are obviously parent of the year the rest of the time.

And there's really no excuse for plonking a baby in front of a tablet every night. Most people are in and out of the restaurant in half an hour.

Your OP gives the impression this is the first time you have seen this family and I wouldn’t judge four children having 30 mins of screen time at the end of the day. Perhaps the adults have been running round and not able to eat all holiday, so just wanted to fuel up before going back to their apartment or room to socialise (without screens) or maybe they watch tv all day every day 🤷🏻‍♀️.

YABU to judge others on whether they have screens at the table or not. You don't know anything about their personal circumstances and only have a snap shot of their family life. Mind your own business.

At home it is always 'no tech at the dining table'. We aim for that when out.

However, all my children have ASD so sometimes on days out or holidays they are on tech as they are overwhelmed, anxious or have social hangovers. Or a combo of all three. They can block out life, play Therapeutic Listening Quickshifts or at least control their audio/visual input whilst in an unknown busy place. And then we thank Apple with all our hearts that we can still function as a family away from home. In the olden days, families like ours wouldn't have eaten out on holiday so you'd have never encountered it - far from 'we just gone on with it' that is popping up on the thread.

Judge away. YABVU.

My DS also uses his iPad to communicate with us. He can't always verbalise what he's feeling, what he wants to tell us, what he wants to ask, etc but he can type it. DH and I have a chat thread on WhatsApp specifically for DS to "talk" to us. So oft times when he's wired into an iPad at a restaurant table and we're looking at our phones, we actually are talking to him.

But even if we weren't, even if all he was doing is watching TV or playing games, so fucking what. Not your DC, not your business.