To be judgy about screens at the table?

[PiperPublickOccurrences]

We're currently on holiday. Large family friendly resort, mix of families, couples, older people. Big, buffet style restaurant. Very relaxed vibe.

At dinner there was a large extended family at the next table, 5 adults and 4 preschool children. Every child had a phone or a tablet propped in front of them. None of the adults spoke to the children - including the baby who was at a push 8 months old. Children had plates of food put in front of them without a word and didn't take their eyes off the screen.

Aibu to find this all a bit depressing? I can just about understand using screens when it's absolutely essential that kids are quiet. But the restaurant is very informal with lots of kids around.

Oh, YABU. Don't judge, you have no idea the context of that scenario. This could have been a one-off after a very stressful day. If it was a holiday, they have most likely spend the entire day doing stuff together and maybe, just maybe they were all a bit tired and emotional and the parents just wanted to relax and have some down-time? Don't be so judgey.

3 hours in a bar - colouring and sticking - tbh I judge more the need to take children to a bar for 3 hours than letting them play with a screen for a bit.

Absent abuse or neglect - look for the speck in your own eye than the stick in others.

Screens in use again at dinner tonight for all children including the teeny ones. But yeah, totally a one off, a desperate measure by parents st

Parents at the end of their tether with their SN 9 month old. 

Screens in use again at dinner tonight for all children including the teeny ones. But yeah, totally a one off, a desperate measure by parents st

Have you been drinking OP? Whilst I charge of children?

I think I'll judge you!

Ah nothing like the old holiday pastime...stalking random families in order to find reasons to post about them on the internet!

Maybe they’re all messaging each other about the creepy lady constantly observing them and posting updates on online forums (which I assume you use a screen for?) instead of just chilling the fuck out and enjoying her own holiday like a normal person. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Bit of a boring dinner then that you have to give a running commentary on a screen to type about others on screens bit of an own gaol there I reckon

Wow you are really touchy aren't you?

The OP can actually glance around while chatting to her family. Although, if you focus on your screen while eating perhaps it would seem difficult to look at what was happening around you.

Noticing another family is not stalking. The OP is merely pointing out that all the excuses about a one off difficult day are total bollocks.

Can people just accept that families have different standards and do things differently? Looking down on others doesn't make you a better person just because you think you're right.

I agree OP. I find it strange that you have had so much opposition.

people saying yes but don't judge you don't know the struggle tis could be the only thing that keeps them sane and quiet.but we didn't always have these devices and we managed before.becasue we spoke to them.calmed them they were taught from the off how to be in that situation.where as now the go to has always been the screen.and as op said they weren't even talking so that's not like they made the effor tand screen were last resort for peace.they just didn't bother.
I do think some aspects of life and parenting are going out the window far too often with lots of things.be it general care.cooking.boredom and creativity.life skills.socialising.manner and respect.qaulity time.
I remember on holiday sometimes being bored as hell on the outings.but it never lasted long.wed play a quick game with mum.or think of something totally random in our own heads or squible with siblings.the angels came along when dad let us then play on snake ffks on his phone.but it was never a given.
it sounds so simple now.and would children now ever accept it ok to just play like we did stupid game of ispay!this game now is too uncool and stoooopid for some 3 years olds.

OP, you're nosey and judgemental and BU. Stop watching another person's parenting and judging. And for all those saying "we interacted with our children in restaurants" depends totally on the children and on the day they've had, how tired they are. Maybe dinner time is their witching hour? My autistic cousin would kick up.a fuss in restaurants every single meal and would often end up running around the restaurant or under the table, crying. His parents would give him a Game Boy. As I said, it is normal in this country to eat with food on laps in front of the TV; screens at dinner didn't just appear overnight. Leave the bloody family alone, keep your opinions to yourself, it is literally none of your business.

Fontofnoknowledge you are the expert at managing your own child's sn not anyone else's.

depressing, a sign of the times, I remember being in a restaurant a few years back Valentines Day, so you are paying through the nose anyway, bloke at table next to us, on his phone either receiving or making calls, really loud, couldnt enjoy to my meal or talk to my DH.Now you have th kids shouting at the games, stil moaning when they dont win, agree totally with you, Kateandme.

I absolutely agree OP. I have seen people with children in restaurants who don't speak to them. Just plonk an iPad or phone in front of them. I had 2 children and took them on holidays on my own and ate in restaurants every night with very few issues. My grandchild has never had a tablet and is not allowed to play with phones. They manage perfectly fine without them. I also see mothers on buses who get on with a child, get their phone out and spend the whole journey looking at it. They don't say a word to the child. It's so depressing.

@Fontofnoknowledge

I just don't believe you. For a start small children are not 12 . You're clearly a bit stung by being challenged, but that's just tough really. You've been posting strenuous opinion on other people's poor parenting and airily claiming that if you could manage with your very large family and a child with SN than everyone should be able to, so I am afraid you must expect people to respond to your silly assertions.

Worse that adults who could be engaged in conversation amongst themselves than their children, in my opinion. There could be the excuse whilst at home that someone is going to contact them about something reasonably important or about to happen, which is not the case on holiday.

Don't be so judgemental you don't know what is going on in others lifes.

My ds 7 plays with a tablet when we are out for a meal but its while he is waiting for his meal once it arrives it goes off and he eats and chats etc.

I used to judge like you until I had my ds. Now I don't even bat an eyelid

Honestly @PiperPublickOccurrences posting updates to "prove" your point that the others are "bad" parents is sad. Get on why your own meal, your own children and stop bloody judging others!

This happened on my holiday too. Most mealtimes, most families, every night or day, 14 days straight. I think there's a pattern of behaviour there, not a one off 'bad day'!

Remember that holiday when you spent the evenings stalking that family to prove a point?
Remind me again OP, who are you travelling with?

Glancing at another table is not stalking. Clearly.

The restaurant has only a very small section with tables seating more than 2 or 4. There are 5 of us. So we're sitting immediately adjacent to these people the last two meals. Not stalking anyone.

And there's really no excuse for plonking a baby in front of a tablet every night. Most people are in and out of the restaurant in half an hour.

Why have kids if you don’t want to talk to them & include them? Very occasionally my boys will read a book at table if we’re out and I’ve bought the newspapers and coffee/pastries, but 99% of the time they are part of the conversation, and I enjoy that. But if families view that differently it’s none of my business. The problems come if lunching with a family that frisbees out tablets - it’s a real difference in parenting approach, and difficult to accommodate both on the same table.