To think this can’t be a common way of thinking?

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I was in a shop earlier pushing a trolley around with my two children in, one of whom is a 14 month old.

We got to the check-out and the woman in front looked like she was in her 60s and had a young infant sitting in her trolley too.

We got chatting about the little ones and the lady said it was her granddaughter who she looks after a few days a week.

I asked her if it was her first grandchild and she said that she had a grandchild through her son too but this one (the one in the trolley) was her daughter’s child and so it was her “first proper grandchild.”

What the hell?

I had absolutely no idea what to say in response so I just smiled.

I know there’s stereotypes of a lovely mother/daughter relationship etc etc but to say that a child that comes from your daughter more of a grandchild than one that comes from your son is pretty out there in terms of thinking isn’t it?!

So if she’d never had a daughter she would never have ‘proper’ grandchildren? How bizarre. My DGM has two sons therefore her three granddaughters (me included) aren’t real grandchildren? Such weird thinking.

It doesn’t have to be that way though Queen, my PILs spend as much time as possible with my D.C.

If you foster a good healthy relationship with your own boys and in time with their partners then there’s no reason you shouldn’t also have good relationships with any future grandchildren.

Maybe it’s just favourites when the grandmother has both sons and daughters with children?

I have a great relationship with my FIL. Unfortunately my MIL passed away when our eldest was only 4 months old.

Even though I have a good relationship with FIL and he lives so close he will never just pop over to see the boys, or ask to take them out or ask to have the eldest for a sleepover etc etc. He will babysit for us for a few hours if we ask him too but he never makes an effort to see them or spend time with them off his own back. It’s really strange and it does upset my DH, especially because he sees how involved my own family are with our sons.

Anyone else noticing posts not posting on this thread?

I’d love it if some grandmas on here who have grandparents through both their sons and daughters could come and explain if there is any difference in the way she feels towards her daughter’s children and her son’s children...

Lol awkward

I have grandchildren through my son and my daughter. I love them all to bits and there is no question of any of them being 'real' grandchildren and others not.
The very thought of that makes me feel quite sad.

I was a lot closer to my dad's mum than my mum's side of the family. I have 4 boys and no daughters myself, but I couldn't see myself being any different if I did, and my mum is no longer with us, but she saw my boys more often than DP's parents purely because they can't be bothered. I'd love them to have a better relationship.