Is this CF behaviour or..?

I'm going to go against the grain here. I've texted mums to ask if my DS can come to their house for a play. But I know the mums, I'm always friendly when I see them, and I did start my text off with 'I know that this is massively cheeky and please say no if it's in any way inconvenient...' I also then go on to say that of course I will have little Johnny over in return, or first if she would prefer that. I do it because my eldest asks. And he's completely socially awkward, so I help him where I can. He's 7.

It could be that her daughter has asked to come to play, or that the two of them have discussed it at school and she's just being proactive, albeit clumsily. But that doesn't excuse the blanking in the playground.

Does your daughter want this playdate to happen?

Op said she’d spoken to her dd who said nothing had been said and that they didn’t play together

Op also said other parents had had similar texts to arrange —childcare— play dates

I think ASKING for your child to go over to someone else's house is very rude..

I was a class rep for many years. The standard arrangement was to ask each parent at the start of the school year if they wanted to be on a class list. If yes, their contact info was distributed to parents of that class only. Cross-class friendships naturally happened but even so, parents wouldn’t pass on contact info without getting permission first.

But to a certain extent, all 7YOs are socially awkward. They haven't learnt the social niceties yet, and of course they will ask if they can go to a friend's.

Mine have asked, and I've just no, I'll invite X to come to our place and then we wait to be invited back, and they inevitably are.

I don't think it's necessarily doing a 'socially awkward' (any) child any favours not to explain how it works.

When you invite your kid to someone else's place, they will feel obliged to tidy up, get food in, host and be responsible for someone else's child. It's not a small ask.

That's why you offer to do all that - and leave them to offer in return, if/when they want to - on their terms.

And to all this saying this ^ viewpoint is 'horrid' or 'nasty', just ...

It's called being considerate, and thoughtful of other people, and not foisting you / your kid on someone else.

If you want your DC to hang out, just offer to have them at yours, and then wait for the inevitable return invitation.

Where I live (Canada) it is very common to give out class contact lists to enable contact for parties and play dates. But we can certainly opt out if we don't want our details shared. Here it is very UNcommon to invite the whole class for birthday parties, and teachers do not let party invitations come to school, so the list is a lifesaver! I have no problem with it at all.

maybe just maybe she is just rushing and too stress and not stop to be friendly. we never know how other people's life is like. perhaps her child said she wanted to play with your dd but she cant make it and asked if you could have them? sometimes, things is not what it seems to be. granted we always wait to be invited but kids will be kids and often like to be invited to someone's house instead of playing in their own house.i have had my kids friends parents call up to ask if their child could come over. i didnt mind. its a start to friendship either way and now they are best of friends and and the family is actually very nice and they do the same for me when i needed help as i did for them. lt goes both ways. i tend to prefer to have an open mind until they prove me wrong