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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What to do with aupair

607 replies

Whattheactualheck · 15/10/2018 17:04

Would really appreciate some help here. Aupair started out fairly promisingly but things are becoming increasingly strained. It doesn’t feel as though she wants to be part of our family. She spends a lot of time on her phone when she’s supposedly “ playing “ with the kids. I’ve already told her about this several times. She can’t cook and so I’m preparing all the meals even when I come back from work I’ve barely got my foot in the door and I’m busy in the kitchen. She has every weekend off and has friends she stays with in the next town so we don’t see her from Saturday morning until Sunday late at night. This is fine and I’m glad she has fun. However it’s the attitude when she’s here. She’s cold with the children. Makes no conversation and acts like she doesn’t like them. My son was ill the other day and I said I had to go back to work for a few hours and could she please look after him. I got tearful phone call from him saying could I come home as the aupair went out just after I’d left. My husband and I repeatedly tried to phone her but she wouldn’t pick up. I had to leave work in the end and her reason when I finally got hold of her was “ it was such a gorgeous sunny day I really fancied a walk”. A two hour walk when you’ve got a sick child that you’re supposed to be in charge of? Then this morning another tearful call from son saying she’s been mean to him and his siblings. Cold and snappy and just generally rolling eyes at them and being unkind. Would I be justified in calling it a day? Son she left alone is 11 by the way. I don’t mind twenty mins here and there but this was over two hours . I’ve had enough.

OP posts:
Whattheactualheck · 19/10/2018 17:34

Because in the eyes of the law this is not considered true employment.

OP posts:
legofriendly · 19/10/2018 17:59

Why not?

roses2 · 19/10/2018 18:08

Can I ask if the website is aupairworld? They won’t do anything about this and there is no review facility.

Good on you for letting her go but don’t give up. There are some real gem au pairs out there who are worth their weight in gold.

Whattheactualheck · 19/10/2018 18:12

There’s a huge long section in Gov.co.uk under aupair . Sorry no idea how to link

OP posts:
Iaimtomisbehave1 · 19/10/2018 18:14

@legofriendly

An au pair isn't an employee. The money they earned is class by the government as pocket money. They don't pay tax on it, you don't need to pay national insurance or pension contributions. It's not employment. And that's why they only do a small amount of work and don't replace proper childcare.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 19/10/2018 18:45

Please try and leave a review. I wouldn’t want her in my house and I’d be none the wiser if all her references are glowing.

Whattheactualheck · 19/10/2018 18:51

Thankfully I can lay this to rest now. Kids happy again, we’ve got our house back. No further contact with aupair. Time to look forward! Again thanks for the huge amount of support you’ve given Flowers

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