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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've just run a half marathon and im fecking tired

175 replies

Oneandoneontheway · 14/10/2018 18:25

DH brought the kids ds 3 and dd 1. They watched at the finish line with Bil and then we went for food after the run. I'm super tired. We got the train home, then he sorts out dinner for the kids. Smashing, however I equally sort fire out, change dd into pj's and pop to bed. Then go for a bath. Whilst in the bath, dd starts wailing, so I shout to dh to get her. He then rants that he's tired etc and can't I help. Jeez!! I'm in the bath and I've just run 13.1 miles!!!!!!

OP posts:
ButchyRestingFace · 14/10/2018 18:26

Tell him to piss off.

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/10/2018 18:26

Ooh and it was for charity, not just poops and giggles!

OP posts:
Whitecurrants · 14/10/2018 18:29

You know YANBU. Well done on the half Flowers

NormHonal · 14/10/2018 18:31

If it’s your hobby, which DH has provided childcare for you repeatedly over the past x number of weeks/months whilst you’ve trained, then I’m with him on this. Did you consult him before you signed up?

If, however, you’ve done it, with his blessing and support, to raise a shitload of cash for charity, please go ahead and polish your halo; he’s being an arse.

(I’ve been in your DH’s shoes and looking after 2 small DCs and keeping them amused whilst watching a boring run is a lot of standing around and very hard work, no doubt with an early start in miserable weather!)

MrsVietor · 14/10/2018 18:34

Oh it's really six and half a dozen.

I did this last year, and when we got home, I jumped in the bath and DH went for a pint while the kids watched a movie. TBH he had spent so many Saturdays looking after them while I did training runs that he needed a break as much as I needed a bath.

serbska · 14/10/2018 18:36

Oh for charidee, nothing at all about you wanting to do this...?

You’re tired. He’s tired. Everyone is tired. Give each other a break. But it was hardly a fun day was it for DH and the kids ‘supporting’ you in the sodding rain?

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/10/2018 18:40

Of course I consulted him! He works away a great deal and I arranged childcare to train! Plus, yeah it's for charity. For an illness his dad was diagnosed with. So yup, pretty serious for us!
Oh and they were in the rain for half an hour then decanted to the pub!

OP posts:
Myshinynewname · 14/10/2018 18:41

YABU - my DH does this after a big run and it pisses me off no end. Your DH has already had them most of the day and now you want a rest because you’re tired. He’s tired too and you’ve had your downtime doing the run.
Have you read all the threads on here where DW is tearing her hair out looking after two toddlers all day while her DH is at work then he comes home and complains he’s tired and can’t help??! They get slated.

Thecatisboss · 14/10/2018 18:41

Well done for the half marathon. I've done Manchester today and am shattered too so know how you feel, though can understand waiting round in the rain with bored children is not fun too.

AnotherOriginalUsername · 14/10/2018 18:43

My husband told me how much his feet hurt about 30 seconds after I crossed the finish line at London last year. He also told me how tired he was after I finished a 24hr ultra marathon Hmm

Smile and nod, have a bath (whilst he's awake in case you need hauling out!) then eat, eat and eat some more and treat yourself to a sports massage tomorrow. You'll feel great and you've done great - well done!

PotteringAlong · 14/10/2018 18:43

You had 13.1 miles of child free time. Don’t try and do competitive tiredness, no one comes out of it well.

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/10/2018 19:05

Thanks ANOTHER XX

OP posts:
3out · 14/10/2018 19:20

Agree with Pottering.

RainbowBriteRules · 14/10/2018 19:28

Sorry but YABVU. You’ve had loads of child free time running and training. He’s wrangled very young children all day. You’ve been back two minutes and are already conplaining. Half an hour in the rain at a race with young children is aged. Decanting to the pub with young children is not exactly relaxing. I have been to many races and see how stressful it is for spouses / OHs to occupy the children. Frequently they get no thanks at all yet are expected to worship at the feet of the person who chose to do the run and often treats their watching family abysmally afterwards. Sorry but this really, really grates and my DH knows that if he ever behaved like this or tried the competitive tiredness crap he would be in the bad books for a long time.

Another, your husband probably is tired after you did those races as that is a shedload of childcare he is probably doing while you race and train.

AnotherOriginalUsername · 14/10/2018 19:31

Another, your husband probably is tired after you did those races as that is a shedload of childcare he is probably doing while you race and train

We have no children and yes he spectated at London but stayed at home by himself for the 24hr ultra Hmm

MarshaBradyo · 14/10/2018 19:32

Agree they are putting the work in

Instead of being annoyed it could be thanks for taking over whilst I trained and for seeing me finish

AnotherOriginalUsername · 14/10/2018 19:32

I don't understand the view point that fathers deserve a medal for doing a few hours solo childcare?

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/10/2018 19:33

Yeah your quite right, he had 3 hours to mind the children. That's 3 hours in a 7 day week. Let's just say that again. 3 fecking hours!!! And I shall point out again, that he didn't cover my training as he works away?! All good?!

OP posts:
RainbowBriteRules · 14/10/2018 19:34

Apologies Another, I shouldn’t have assumed about children, that was completely wrong of me.

Marathon training is hours and hours and hours of training, not just a few hours of childcare. OP also said he brought the kids to watch the run which is a fucking nightmare at those ages.

HollowTalk · 14/10/2018 19:34

So the husband works away from home, goes to the pub with his brother and kids while his wife runs a half-marathon, bus she should accept now that he's tired? Are you crazy?

Antigon · 14/10/2018 19:36

Has this thread been taken over by the MRA? Grin

OP, don't you DARE get out of that bath! I forbid it

MarshaBradyo · 14/10/2018 19:38

Oh god MRA shit
So irritating

People that support the hobbies are putting in time too
Working away is full on too

Anyway too annoying to continue

AnotherOriginalUsername · 14/10/2018 19:38

@RainbowBriteRules but the OP clearly said that her husband regularly works away (whilst she has the children solo I assume, with or without working alongside), and she arranged alternative childcare for her training, it wasn't done by the husband.

There's 168 hours in a week and OP said her husband has had the children for 3 hours. That's 1/56 of the week. I'm so glad that my husband and I are on the same page when it comes to shared parenting duties.

RainbowBriteRules · 14/10/2018 19:38

You asked if YABU, I (and other posters, and I can guarantee other running spouses) think you are massively so. Others think YADNBU. You obviously think you are in the right so of course that’s up to you and your DH to decide OP.

It will have been far more than 3 hours as you will have been distracted by race prep this morning and tired and disengaged after the race.

HollowTalk · 14/10/2018 19:39

Working away is not usually as hard as working at home and caring for the children as well. It just isn't.